The COVID-19 Vaccine Journey: Why Did I choose Moderna COVID-19 Vaccine and What Are The side Effects

The COVID-19 vaccine journey - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Have you been vaccinated yet? Maybe many of you still have much thought about the COVID-19 Vaccine as it has side effects that give you more concern, moreover, it is a new technology that experts call mRNA vaccine. For me, personally, I made the bold decision to take the COVID-19 vaccine and I chose Moderna. So, this is my vaccine journey!

Last year was the worst news that I had to hear when the Singapore government confirmed the first case of COVID-19 in January 2020. In December 2019, I had watched the news on TV about the strangest diseases (I didn't understand what was it at that time) in Wuhan-China and I didn't expect that disease (later known as the COVID-19 virus) would able to cross the continent and struck in Singapore. Everything that I had planned for the past 2 years; my study plan and my brother's study plan, it suddenly just diminished and immediately I felt like my soul was gone somewhere. Like many people, I also felt anxious and worried about so many things. Thank goodness, I live in Singapore which means far better compare to if I stay in my original country. Since that day, almost every week, the Singapore government has made a live conference on station TV where we can easy to watch and hear about the COVID-19 situation update from the authority directly. The government provides as much information as possible about everything in this unprecedented situation. For instance: after the first COVID-19 case was confirmed, people was panic and rush to stockpile foods, sanitizer, vitamins, et cetera. With the help of the live conference, me, personally, felt less worried as the government sent a message that national stock was in good shape which meant we did not need to wipe out those stuff in the supermarket and did shopping normally.

Besides making live conferences, here in Singapore, the government sends daily progress of the COVID-19 cases, any information relates to the COVID-19 via WhatsApp. So, I receive that information via WhatsApp from the government. Not only how many local and import cases but also provide information about new rules, vaccine information, and recently (on 19 August) the message said that 77% of the total population (in Singapore) have completed the full regimen (the COVID-19 vaccine). Furthermore, we can visit the government website in this case Ministry of health if we want to know detail about something.  As a Singapore resident, I just feel grateful.

In December 2020 last year, we had begun talking about the COVID-19 vaccine as the government would soon roll out the vaccination program. early 2021, I felt not confident to take the vaccine as I read news from outside about the side effects, moreover, it is about the new technology that scientists have created to make the vaccine. What is mRNA, it sounds unfamiliar, and I just knew the old method to create a vaccine. Like many people, I had so many inquiries in my head. While waiting our turn to get the Covid-19 vaccine, both my husband and I watched the government live conferences, read our local news, and heard and read carefully what the government advises. For us, hearing the government's advice is important as we all know in this crisis there is a lot of information about the COVID-19 vaccine out there that we do not know their credibility. Many people get the wild news about the COVID-19 situation because they read or get the information from social media and unknown sources, it could be watching YouTube as well. Fortunately, I am not kin with social media such as Facebook so that the wild news does not consume my rational. For us, following the government's advice is the best move to embrace and face this tumultuous time.

Finally starting from 2nd July 2021, an age below 40 is allowed to book the vaccine date at the vaccination center. Here the vaccination center is Community Clubs and Policlinics and we can choose. The vaccination program from the government is only Pfizer and Moderna. And of course, because it is a government program we have the guarantee or call it insurance for instance if we get side effects and hospitalization, the government covers it. Both my husband and I decided to choose Moderna. For me, the reason why I prefer Moderna is that I have food allergies for example crab and honey. Meanwhile, for my husband, the reason why he followed me choosing Moderna is that to get the faster book and less crowd; in sort word, we have more options which the date that we wanted. Yes, mostly Singapore resident takes Pfizer so that is why we need to wait sometimes to booking our vaccine date or the booking date is fewer options. We booked our vaccination date at different times so we could take care of each other if we got the side effects, my husband a week earlier than me.

Based on our neighbor who got the vaccine earlier than us, they didn't have or almost no side effects or minor, while other got body pain, headache; another felt very sleepy, and had a fever. Therefore, we had prepared ourselves if we got those side effects after the jab. I also bought and stocked more vegetables, fruit, fish, and any prebiotic food for example tempeh and Yakult (cultured milk from Japan). Buying more broccoli, spinach whether red or green, lots of oranges, more salmon stock. The reason why I did this act was that I wanted to minimize the side effects by eating healthy foods! Is that any related by eating healthy food can reduce side effects? I don't know, but who's know healthy food will help😊

The first who got the first dose was my husband on that Saturday evening in early July 2021. After the injection, came home, and took a rest didn't do anything at home even not helping laundry, cooking, or anything; fully taking a rest! He didn't have a fever; only a little bit dizzy (minor) but was gone after 3 days. Of course, felt little pain at the arm where the jab was; it is gone by itself after a few days (give it a week). He didn't take paracetamol at all! On Monday he started to work; of course, work from home. Overall, his body reaction was good when received the first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. Now my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine; my body reaction was different as after 4 hours of the injection, I started feeling heavy on my head, my whole body in pain, tiredness, dizzy, and my pulse run fast because I could hear it. I didn't do any activities after the jab but my heartbeat was run like I did exercise (jogging). So I lay down and watched my favorite TV channel LoveNature.😅 I took paracetamol but the heavy and pain in my head won't go easily. My first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine date was on Saturday evening, and because I was worried about a heart attack, I went to the hospital emergency on late morning Monday. At the hospital emergency, I did run some tests as the procedure of heart attack. I did the blood tests every 3 hours to know if any heart disease and thyroid, X-ray, and also urine test. At the hospital emergency, I received infusion fluids for rehydration, and I took paracetamol with muscle relief as the doctor said. After a half-day at the hospital emergency, the doctor discharged me on that Monday evening because the result of my tests came back negative which meant everything is good! And the doctor gave me the advice to drink lots of water! And yeah, I didn't get a fever in my first dose but got another side effect. Finally, I was relieved!🤗 And the doctor gave me paracetamol with contained muscle relief that I had to take. After coming back from the hospital emergency on the evening of Monday, gradually my pulse runs normally, my body felt much better, little by little my dizziness is gone as well as I took paracetamol that contains muscle relief. In total, for a week I didn't do any activities at home, just sit tight or lay down watched my favorite channel!😁 After a week took a full rest, I went shopping again as our food supplies run out and back to my daily routine.

Then our second dose came! First was my husband who got the second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. Well, this time, he was almost got a fever, his whole body was in pain, tiredness, and a heavy head. Therefore he took a full rest; didn't do anything at all at home, and took a leave from work. He took paracetamol and ate healthy meals. On Saturday evening he got the jab and on Monday at late noon, he got better as he could wake up easily from the bed which meant all those side effects were gone. The next day he started working again. Now, what about me; what happened after my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine injection? By looking at the history from my first dose, I prepared myself if I got a fever and other things that could be the worst case. Feeling worried, yes, of course, as my husband told me that it was possible I would get the worst side effects. Therefore, while taking care of my husband, I was eating more oranges, more vegetables, fish, drank lots of water than usual before my vaccine date came! Finally, my date came, that day a few hours before went off to the vaccine center I felt a little headache and took a rest. On that day I didn't do any works at home before the jab. At the vaccine center, I felt nervous as the registerer asked me for detail about my first dose side effects. Because if my blood tests and other tests at the hospital were positive, then my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine could not proceed that day. As my result tests were negative then I could continue my vaccine journey. After coming back home from the vaccine center, I waited for a few hours and nothing which meant I didn't have any sigh of the side effects, no fever, no bad headache, or heavy head, body pain was only on my back neck and shoulder, of course, a little pain on the injection sidearm, no dizziness, my pulse was normal; overall nothing happened. Although I was in good shape, still I left all my housework behind and took a rest. On the second day, I did laundry and watering my plants; on the third day, I did mop the floor already, did laundry, watered my plants. And after did that laundry and mop, I felt a little headache, then it was gone after taking paracetamol. And because I didn't want any side effects following my acts, I decided to take more rest and took aside my work at home. One thing that I noticed was I felt nauseous especially after I ate. My husband said I had to fight it. Therefore, I ate more and more oranges!😅 As a result, I didn't vomit at all! The good news was after 3 days since the injection, this nauseous was gone! Overall, my second dose of the COVID-19 vaccine was just fine as the side effects that I had were minor. Thanks to the veggie, fruit, and fish!😊✌

Here in Singapore, we have a procedure that after the injection of the COVID-19 vaccine, it is mandatory to not take strenuous activities for a week for example swimming, cycling, running, lifting heavy weights, competitive sports, playing ball. Meanwhile, stretching, casual walking, and housework will be allowed and safe we can do it after the vaccination. So, take a leave after the jab is necessary if we are got sick (side effects) and the company understands it. In general, people would take 2 days of leaves. The bottom line is to take a rest after the injection; do not go anywhere but straightaway goes home and take a rest! For me, I didn't left/ go out for a week after the jab (first dose and second dose). And after a week, I started my daily routine gradually not instantly take all the work (especially heavy activities). In my view, our bodies need to adjust. 

Example of strenuous activities to avoid for one week post-vaccination - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti 

I forgot to tell this that after the injection of the COVID-19 vaccine, we have to sit down at the vaccine center for about 30 minutes for observation. After 30 minutes, if nothing happens to us (it could be a dizzy, headache, or anything else) then we can go home and bring a pack of masks and a bottle of sanitizer for free. If during observation we feel dizzy, headache, or anything else, directly we will receive treatment and the doctor at the vaccine center will check our condition whether we are ok and able to go home or send us to the hospital. And yes, we got a bottle of sanitizer and a pack of masks after the first dose and second dose. Since last year, we have gotten many things free from the government for instance oximeter, test kits for COVID-19, TraceTogether token, free mask a few times; all those stuff is useful and helpful as we all know as the test kit for COVID-19 is priceless if we buy at the store. Another good thing is we can check our oxygen level by using an oximeter at home at any time. Back to the observation topic, I reckon, 30 minutes of observation is crucial as I had read out there in another country people got an injection of the COVID-19 vaccine in the strange way (in my opinion) that call drive-through vaccine; people drive their car, arrive at the vaccine center, and still in the car take the jab, and directly exit from the vaccine center. I feel it isn't safe. As far as I can see, the Singapore government guideline is the safest one.

We got a bottle of sanitizer and masks for free - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

I do remember that day when one of my friends said to me to not taking the COVID-19 vaccine because it is dangerous and I could die if I took the vaccine. She sent me a bunch of the name scientists, former vice president Pfizer (she said), some experts in this, and that, et cetera who are anti-vaccine. In addition, she gave me links to information or news about people who have been vaccinated but do not allow to board in-plane, pilots dead in duty after the injection of the COVID-19 vaccine, blood clots, et cetera. It looked that she got all those information from outside her country. Not only that, but she also talked about natural immune and many things that are against the COVID-19 vaccine, do not want to take the vaccine, and if she gets the virus she would rather do/ take traditional medicine not going to the hospital. Well 🤷‍♀️ what I can say, people have free thought on what they want in their life including how they react in this unprecedented situation we face today. People also have a choice about what they want to do in this crisis and the future they want. For me, I must be decisive as I have family that I need to take care of, husband, and brother. Specifically, my brother; has down syndrome who depends on me. Yeah, like my brother when his school as our permission to take my brother getting the COVID-19 vaccine, of course, we consent it as we all know the student and all school employees must take the vaccine (mandatory) so that they are able to study with less worry, held school event. We need to protect each other in this situation and work together as a nation. I took the vaccine because I want to protect my family, my neighbor, and the community where I live. Furthermore, I would rather help others than talking too much against the COVID-19 situation rules, law, and the COVID-19 vaccine.  For instance, giving assistance to the family of the children who receive school assistance from us, sending hand sanitizers, helping to buy hand soap and food, creating a proper handmade mask et cetera. Sending smiles, and spread happiness to others is far more joyful for me by using our energy to acts in positive ways. I do, I really do appreciate my friend's concern, I also thanked her because her country donates the COVID-19 vaccine to Indonesia. However, no offense, I do not have time to looking for those stuff.

Whether we like it or not, this is our world today that we call coronavirus years. My other friend said, "I'll wait until the COVID-19 virus is gone and open my business again." I replied, "This crisis will long run it could be 5 years, we do not know."  For me, both my husband and I, have a future that we want to be. As the COVID-19 pandemic is everywhere, what we can do is adapt to this situation. We are grateful that we were able to get the Moderna vaccine as we know many people from our neighbor country want to get Pfizer or Moderna vaccine but their country does not have it. Other people outside there, they want the COVID-19 vaccine but they don't have access to get a vaccine. So, be grateful for what we have today. Last year, I felt nervous and what I saw was an uncertain future, but today, because of the COVID-19 vaccine and we got it this year, I can replan the future that I want to be, not only my future but family and my brother future. I am confident about it.💪👊

In Singapore, as the Delta variant emerges and creates a cluster, we still remain in phase 2 until today. However, here in Singapore, data shows people who have been vaccinated, when they got the COVID-19 virus new variant (DELTA) it's asymptomatic which means Pfizer and Moderna COVID-19 vaccine can protect us against the COVID-19 virus. Meanwhile, unvaccinated people, many of them ends up in the ICU room or seriously ill and require oxygen supplementation. Where do I know about that, as I mentioned before, we receive a message (update about the COVID-19 situation) via WhatsApp every day from the government. 

From 10 August people who have been vaccinated are allowed to dine-in and social gatherings with a maximum of 5 people, meanwhile, events such as a wedding can invite max of 500 people if all of them have been vaccinated. What I can say, we are starting to moving forward to what we call a new normal in this coronavirus year. 

Although we have been vaccinated, still we have to take precautions; put up our masks, wash our hand frequently or use hand sanitizer, using our TraceTogether token or App wherever we enter public places like the mall, markets, food centers, et cetera for contact tracing. Moreover, my husband and I still clean and wipe our groceries after do shopping before using them or store them. The COVID-19 safety management still remains in our daily life as a part of our habit in this coronavirus year even though we have been vaccinated. If we have been vaccinated why we still need take precautions? Well, my logic explanation which is my view, by wearing a mask when we go outside, if we get infection of the COVID-19 virus, at least we wear a mask so it doesn't spread to people we meet. Maybe around 3 weeks ago, 2 household in our neighborhood block had the cases. And I think because we wear a mask even thought have been vaccinated, the case in our neighborhood block stopped to spread; only in the two household. This is what I am talking about, I need to protect not only myslef but also my family, my neighbor, and my community.

I have believed there is a rainbow after the storm. Therefore, do not give up, hang in there, learn and adapt to this situation. Keep your courage, stay safe! Bye!🖐😊

Note:

• Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Do not copy this article without permission
• Do not reuse this photograph anywhere else without permission

Raising From The Ashes: How Education Can Lift You Out From Poverty?

Well, most people from the place I come from literary would laugh and mark us as crazy people who living in an imaginary world when we mention the importance of education for a better future especially when we are just common folk who struggle every day. For me, based on my experiences, I can prove to myself that study at a university and get a degree open my door to level up my life from this time forth. And here is my story!🙂

My father worked at a big plantation company in the province with excellent perks! A good wage, health care insurance for family, bonus annually, providing scholarship for me from high school until university since my academic was pretty good, after graduation, I could straightforward to replace my father position (if he wanted to retire earlier) even ascent position. On top of that, the company arranged an excellent pension for my father when he retires; this pension was higher compare to government pension if we work for the government agency. Not only that, but my father also received a house in the compound. Yeah, this company built a town in their area just for their employees; a housing complex, school from Children care until high school with a high-grade education system, market, shops, clinic, hospital, security system, et cetera. In another word, working at this company, life is just great! Even my future husband, my father was able to picture and selected it since I was a child whether married into the high-class family in the village or choose from his colleague's children. WHAT, wait a minute my future husband?!🥶 That was my path since I was born. Our life was in the golden age as we had never worried about money to pay bills, daily expenses, my study, my future career until retirement day, et cetera. But, all those privileges vanished, our life suddenly dropped to the bottom of the seafloor. Since that day I started hardly to crawl from the seafloor to the surface and tried to fly to reach the star in the sky. I know, it was impossible yet I had never doubted myself and my capability. 

After lost his decent job, my father worked as the cheapest labor at a factory. Riding an old bike daily to reach the factory which meant in total he traveled by bike for about 20 KM each day since he needed to collect at least two sacks of grass for the goats after being off from work. Working 8 hours a day for 7 days (weekend and public holiday), no health insurance, no paid leave, no annual bonus, yeah, he worked for a whole year! I still remember he earned $ 50 each month for a year at that factory when I was in the first year of secondary school. My monthly school fee was almost half of that household income. in addition, my father needed to pay my brother's school fee as well. By calculating it, practically there was no money left to buy food. From the top of the mountain, we were sliding down to the deep of the earth. I was like living in the deep of mud and surrounded by darkness. However, it was an intriguing story because my father managed to survive and sent me to study at a university in a famous city to study in our nation I think I'll write about what my father did after losing everything; lost his honor, dignity, status in the community, money, everything, yet he still stood with a head-up and become an inspiration to other laborers. No matters he fell from heaven, he found out how to walk through hell! I am proud and look up to him since he'd always prided himself on his ability to deal with a crisis. Future is a mystery, however, we can still write our own future if we work hard on it not wishing for it. That's a lesson from my father.

Maybe I should thank my father because he decided to build a house and lived in the village community, not in the company's little town. Because of this decision, it gave me a chance to blend and made a friend with villager children who came from lower-income as I was enrolled in the school in the village. Those villager's children were amazing kids! From them, I learned to survive in an unfair world. They taught me how to be strong, not complaining or whining but working on something that could give us benefits. For instance, sewing our own scrunchies, making handicrafts for our house decoration, creating our own toy using what we found surround, collecting plastic bottles or broken household or kitchen tools like broken baskets, and frying pans then barter it with toys or candy. If we wanted something, we had to work to get money and bought it by ourselves not asked our parents at home. Become their friends which meant I had always been busy each day and wandering around the neighborhood. Yeah, I knew them since kindergarten and became best friends until someday they all gone one by one; they dropped out, left to another place for work, and then married at such a young age, or just simply dropped out, married, then left the village. They left me alone in school.😢😭 At the hardest time, they inspired me to join them by working after school to earn money. For me, my weekly salary was enough to save my school and gave my father time to plan and think for my university later. On top of that, sending me to university and get a degree had always been his dream. He should not give it up so easily,  neither do I. As 11 years old child (10,5 years old actually), I made my stand as an independent girl! Buying everything with my own money, for example, school books, stationery, school bag, shoes, casual clothes (second-hand tops and bottoms or skirts), anything that I needed was paid with the money that I earned!😁 

How much did I earn by packing snacks in the home industry? Normally I worked for 4-5 hours a day, however, I often work a long hour especially on weekends, public holidays, and school holidays, it was up to 8 and more hours a day. In general, 6 days worked I got IDR 7,000 so it meant IDR 1,000 a day. But, on the occasion that I mentioned, with a big smile, I went home with IDR 12,000 - IDR 15,000 for 6 days' work! Once I bought a gift for my father as he loved flowers, I chose glittery roses and a beautiful vas made from glass for him and it cost IDR 7,000 which wiped out my salary a week on regular work; a toy or school bag for my brother's birthday, I also provided stationery for my brother, sometimes his socks too. I remember that time I spent the whole weekly salary that I got on a special day (school holiday) about IDR 15,000 to buy a  schoolbag present for my brother! What? Yes, I hadn't felt cheapo to my brother since the day when my father fell down from the higher life. Instead, I felt very happy even though my backbone like broken because sitting for long hours on the floor with shabby and smelly carpet, bent my legs to pack the snacks made my whole body in pain. To be honest, I was tired and extremely exhausted since I had to do housework as well such as did reek the leaves in a big yard, washed the dishes, cleaning the house, sometimes I cooked breakfast on Sunday. Going to school, believe me, I had to endure the pain in my entire body, sometimes I was sleepy too, the worst part was my hand palm got oily because of the snacks that I had packed. Not only that, in the third year of my secondary school, my palm turned yellow since I had to peel yellow ginger every day for my tonsils inflammation remedy. Yes, I had had tonsils inflammation since the first year of secondary school. So, I often got a fever, headache, tiredness, couldn't swallow my food. I was a frail kid yet I still went to school and worked after school.

Besides packing snacks to earn money, I also saved my pocket money day by day in my piggy bank🐷🐷 If my friends at school had IDR 500 a day for their daily pocket money, meanwhile me? It was IDR 100!! So basically, my daily pocket money hadn't risen since I was in primary school. In primary school, I had always had a bunch of snacks and candy at home so I did not need to buy snacks. My father sometimes bought fruit too. So, I didn't crave any snacks at school. But secondary school, it's the toughest year for me because the transformation of our life had changed drastically! I had never had cookies and candy stock at home and I didn't buy snacks or lunch at school either. In order to save my daily pocket money so that in a new semester I could able to buy some books and other things! Yeah, without books I would definitely doom! I would rather go hungry and thirsty than got bad grades at school. There was still good news as my last class finished at 1 PM; by 1.15 PM I arrived at home and was able to catch up on my lunch. My secondary school was only around 1,3 KM so I just ride my bike every day to reach it. While eating my lunch, I was working on homework and made a quick studied until 2 PM then off to work. My workplace was just a few steps from my father's house. At 4.30 PM, I went home to do house chores, took shower, then went to work again. Believe me, in rush hour I took my evening shower for only 5 minutes!!🤣😅 I need ed to come back to work at 5 PM. At 5.30 PM came back home, studied, then ate my dinner and studied again; at 8 PM, I  continued my work until roughly 9PM or 10 PM, went home, and slept. At 5 AM or 5.15, AM woke up, preparing my school that day, and went to school. That was my daily life when I was in secondary school.

Besides packing snacks, I did other work. This work was only once a year and only a month. What was it? I helped the neighbor that I called aunt Rin making cookies and cakes. She didn't offer money to me; I was volunteering to help her. Only a plastic cookie that we made each day that I bought home. After school, I worked with her girl until 9 PM. Although I didn't earn any money on this job, I was happy as my brother loved snacks and cookies and my father could afford them every day, but at least I could give him cookies every day during this special month. I think because of this job where I made lots of cookies and cakes each day during that particular month, nowadays, I do not like cookies and cakes; not that excited to eat cookies and cakes.

Since secondary school, I became disciplined by waking up before the crack of dawn, went to school in the early morning, and spending my whole life just studying and working. While other students were spending their time hanging out, playing around, made a romance, did shopping, meanwhile me? I was struggling to collect a penny and worried about my future😟 Every day my brain did the simulation and made every Inch of my plans work perfectly. For instance, how much money I could collect a week and how much money I needed to buy books in the next new semester. Not all the books or textbooks I could afford since the price was priceless and I needed other things to buy, but at least I got some of them. I wish I could have all the textbooks, especially Math and Physic books so that I was able to improve my grade higher.

The transition of my life wasn't smooth. I had always walked to school with confidence before, wearing local brand shoes, having a book with the unique pictures that none of my friends had, carried the most uncommon bag for a primary student; yeah once I asked my father for "an executive bag" guess what is it? It's a briefcase!🤣 My father bought it and it was the real one, not one but 2!!😆Many family members and my father's partner said I was spoil bread and arrogant as I had always asked for unusual or more likely weird things and I didn't want to have the same design of school bag, dress, or shoes like another kid. Yeah, it was the time when my father's job was great. But at the bottom of the line, my father gave and bought me something as a reward, gifts, all those were for my achievement at school. SO, it was not free will or wish.

In my first year in secondary school, I succeeded to manage my grade and got the first position in the class so that I earned respect from many students. I should thank to one of my classmates who gave me the courage to become a "common" kid without worrying about unimportant things such as how much my pocket money, my shoes, bag et cetera. Because the most crucial matter was how to survive in the first year and got excellent grades which meant I must focus on my goals. 

However, in the second year of my secondary school, a group of exclusive students recognized me and they become close to me. Why they were exclusive students? Basically, the high class in the community came from people who had stable jobs, for instance, doctors, businessmen, and government agencies. Those kids were "elite" students because their parents had stable jobs. Well, back to high-class students, my name preceded before me, spread class to class. It happened because many teachers adored me and I was popular in the school as one of the stars. However, my confidence and mental dropped, and my grades as well. Why? I felt so small standing among those "elite" students. To be honest, they respected me and would stand in the front line if any other student tried to scratch me. I should be grateful, right? But somehow I felt hurt. I thought that I was no match in this herd, and it's a mistake. Standing among them reminded me of my golden age.😭 I was upset and started questioning why my life was so messed up; how hard my father fought in the court, by the end of the day we lose, his partner overpowers every decision in the household that I had never agreed, my future life scattered and burnt into ashes. How did I stand up again and live again? My heart also broke when saw our neighbor that high-class people in the community who had come to my father's house annually on a special day, suddenly they avoided my father and worried that I would bring a bad influence to their children🤷‍♀️ Seriously?!🙄 I didn't have any confidence to continue my school as I clearly knew that my father didn't have money for sending me away out of the village to study. I started to doubt my capability.

After my grades had fallen down, I was worried that my father would slap my skinny face. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything not even one word. I felt guilty and made a promise to myself this embarrassing thing just only happening this time, one time, and there was no second time!💪💪 Thank goodness, in my third year in secondary school, I met some new students and old friends from the same primary school. They boosted my energy to study furiously. At that time, those "elite" students had money to join courses outside the school and hire our school teachers. Meanwhile, I made my way by studying in a group with my other friends. We studied in groups almost every day, so I left my work for some time whenever I had scheduled to study in a group with my friend. I also joined the martial art club and made a bunch of friends! Moreover, my friend from another class asked me to join her sports group for the competition ahead. I do remember until these days that we won the first prize!!🤩😊 I hold my confidence back and started to walk in the right direction to study at a university. One of my teachers said, " be like gold, even though you are buried beneath the deep mud you would still a gold and have never change into anything." As a result, my grade was enough to register at one of famous private schools in our city province. Isn't that amazing?🤗 I hoped so!! From there I dragged my line to a famous university that I wanted to get into. It was one of my friends who told me the story about our senior who studied in this private high school and succeeded got into a famous university with a scholarship. I wanted to follow his step! When one of the exclusive students said he just registered at that high school and asked me to joined him, I was excited! Unfortunately, my father's partner objected to it. She said it wasted money, and also said "You do not know your position, such an arrogance girl like father like daughter!" While teachers, many students even from exclusive students adored me, prised me because I was good at school, she had never been proud of my achievement. Not only that, some people around said that I would not make it through high school since I was just a girl so why I should go to high school since my father was nothing; school was not the place where I belong. Life was so hard when we were just low class in the community, every day we tried to survive in anything. Where was our family? Yeah, where were they? They just watched my father "died." None of them helped me out with my school issues; maybe asked me if I needed new school shoes, a bag, or just gave me a book; I loved nature, flora, fauna, history, space, but sadly I didn't have any of those books. On top of that, I could hold all the hurt from people around us whatever they said, but I wasn't able to endure the broken heart because of what my father's partner said to me. As my biological mother, she should support me at all costs, in reality, it was the opposite.

I didn't know where I needed to go, I didn't have any destination after graduating from secondary school. Some friends wondered and asked, "where would you go, you can go to one of the excellent high schools in the city." I said, " I do not know." Since my father wasn't able to back me up as his partner overpower him, I had to make a bold decision. At late noon, I went to one of my friend's houses, asked her about her high school destination and I just followed the crowd as mostly graduated students came to this high school. Yeah, I ended up in the high school in our neighboring village. Many friends said it was the best school in our neighborhood but I wasn't that excited since I should deserve better than this. However, my mind was clear that I refused to give up so easily. I had always remembered what my secondary school teacher said, "Become a gold." I tried the best I could for my entire years in this high school. Waking up at 5 AM or 5.15 AM, went off to school at 6.15 AM. In high school, I needed to commute every day about 20-30 minutes by local bus. But before took the bus, I walked for about 1 KM or sometimes ride my bike (but my bike got old and sometimes broken) from my father's house to the market where I waited for the bus. On the bus, I opened my book and studied; arrived at school at 7 AM, and studied in the class before the class started at 7.30 AM. We had two times recess in our school and I used to studied or made a discussion with my friends in the class which meant I hadn't bought snacks and lunch in school. In high school, our class finished at 2 PM, sometimes we had to continue to stay in school as we also joined the school club or school event. Since my first year in high school, I had joined two school clubs. On a regular day, while waiting for a local bus to give us a ride home, my friends and I studied or worked on homework. And do not think that the place where we waited for the bus was a bus shelter like in the modern city. Like many students, we stood on the side road and took shelter in front of the shop or trees as we waited for the bus in the market. Well, in the hot season we sweat a lot, and in the rain season, our shoes had always been wet but we still wore it. And I needed to walk 1 KM again to reach home under the scorching sun after took off from the bus. The fastest time, I got home at 3 PM, but often at 3.30 PM or 4 PM. While eating my late lunch at home, I was opening my books or working on my homework. At 4.30 PM I had to do house chores, took shower, and started working from 5 PM until 6 PM or sometimes I studied again then continued my work at 8 PM until it could be up to 10 PM, or sometimes worked from 5 PM until 9 PM. Yeah, my work time was flexible so it depended on my school schedule. However, on special occasions, I mentioned before (Sunday, public holiday, and school holiday), I worked straightaway from 8 AM until 10 PM sometimes 11 PM; went home for lunch, did house chores, took a shower, and dinner. When I was in high school, every minute was precious to me, as I had always busy in school which meant I spent my whole day on school matters. My school club had finished at 4.30 PM or 5 PM. At this point, I got home at 6 PM sometimes almost 7 PM. My energy drained up every day, I was skinny as my body weight was underweight, I got low blood pressure, often headache, cold and flu, at that time I still had tonsils inflammation. Amazingly, I had never been absent from school, even though I got cold,  heavy rain weather, I still stood up in class; unless, I collapsed but it had never happened. Lots of sacrificed that I made but the result, I became one of the best students in school and gained lots of respect from other students, and again, my name preceded before me. I succeeded in marking my name again; in 3 years I had never failed. 💪 Besides holding good grades, I got achievement in prestigious extracurricular in school. Not only that, the result of my final sports exam in the third year (final year) was amazing as I sit in second place!🤩

Despite all those achievements in high school, my pathed to my dream university wasn't smooth. My chance to grab my chair in that university was tight as the university would choose students from the high school in the city first and gave a scholarship to students who studied at high school in the city province not a high school in the neighboring village. It's a small window, and I wasn't able to break it. Sad, disappointed, yes, of course, that was why after graduated from secondary school I wanted to enroll at one of the best private high schools in the city province. Sadly, my father's partner didn't see what I had seen for the whole time! One of my teachers in high school said, "Do not become the best, you must become the best of the best." Therefore, there was no time to being sad,  and I decided to open my own path by sticking to the plan. Although the outcome was a very bad shape and looked like my efforts were just futile, I was still able to study in the same city where my dream university stands. The reason why I chose this city was because it's a famous city to study; the whole nation knows about it. So, by studying at one of the universities in this city, I got enough reputation to find a job (hopefully). 

Still, my father's partner didn't like my decision. She tried to persuade me to study at the local university in the city province. But I was persistent, I didn't want to give up on my big dream. After graduated from high school I left my hometown with friends to the destination city where we wanted to study. If other teenagers would go with their parents to go to register to the university; meanwhile me? Like always, I settled down everything on my own with the helped of my senior who studied in the same high school. Believe me, my father had no clue who would help me in my destination city, where I would sleep, how to find information about universities et cetera. However, he trusted me and was confident in the decision that I made, and he let me go to reach my dream. And the next thing that happened was I just enjoyed my university life, met lots of students that came from different cultures and regions from almost the whole island of Indonesia. Everything during my campus day was great! For someone who had never gone to any city, I was brave enough to embrace it, adapted it, and blended well. As far I remember, I had never faced difficulties because there were always friends, my seniors, local people, and also my colleagues, who helped me. Since that day, I visited my father once a year for a few days or a week, or two weeks. In sort of words, I spent almost my whole year on the campus. At 3,5 years, I graduated and hold my degree. At my graduation ceremony, my father came, had a big smile that I hadn't seen for the past few years after the tragedy when he lost everything. After that day, my journey has just begun!

Many noises around me when I decided to study at a university. Many said it was a waste of money, useless, and I had been told that I did not belong there (university). For example, my father's niece said I was a crazy village girl who lived in an imaginary world, had too many wishes, was arrogant, didn't see where I came from (my father was nothing). As far as I remember, the family that we had, they only bullied me and my brother, had never tried to help me. My father wanted to borrow money about $ 80 when I went to university, but they didn't give it. When my father died, I asked one of my uncles to lend me ONLY $ 15, but he and his son refused it and his daughter bullied me. Yeah, none of those family members said sorry for my loss and hugged me when my father passed away. Those families said that my father died because of me who spent lots of money to study at university so they said I was a "killer"; many of them said that I was a loser because I didn't have money. The only person who hugged me tight was the one who gave me school assistance since I was in secondary school. She wasn't my aunt, we didn't have blood tied, complete stranger, but by the end of the day, she was the only one who holds my hand and offered to take my brother as her employee. She and her husband were there since my father fell and lost his decent job until my father went up to the sky. For me, family is not about who blood we are carried but who holds my hands when I need it most. Nowadays, I do still remember when my father's sister and brother-in-law asked me to leave their house immediately. That time, after graduated from university, the city collapsed because of a disaster (a big earthquake). I couldn't find a job in this city as the city needed to recover and built up again. Therefore, I tried my luck to find a job in the city where my father's sister lived because I thought they like my father who would help a family member when they needed a hand. After two days arrived, even before I started to hunt for the job and found a rent room, her husband asked me to leave tomorrow; not even asked whether I was ok since the earthquake had become a piece of big news for the nation. My ankle was injured and needed a doctor immediately. Luckily, one of my friends with me, then we left which meant went back to the city where I lived even though I knew that I would not get any job due to the situation. During my stay at my father's sister's house, my friend and I had always gone out every mealtime. Yeah, we bought our own meals. That's what they call themselves my family and cared about my father. When my father was alive nobody helped him out, yet when he died everyone blamed me because I studied at a university. What about my brother? They didn't care at all, they bullied him instead, what a poor boy.

Until these days, none of those family members beats my achievement at school; became one of the best students in school from kindergarten until my university life. Finishing my Bachelor's degree in 3,5 years and hold a good GPA. Well, in Indonesia, normally university student finish their program (Bachelor Degree) in 4 years, many graduate in 5 years, 6 years, even 7 years! So, 3,5 years to hold Bachelor's Degree is a rare case. There are nothing special and amazing things that happen to the bully's children. Many ignore the importance of education. Instead of spending money to educate themself, they use their money to buy tangible things like motorcycles, gadgets, even cars. All of them are credit just to show off. However, since 2000, my hometown has changed. The opportunity to get a decent job the requirement is Bachelor Degree. In 1990, someone could work at school as a teacher by holding a certificate from high school but not today. By spending money on tangible things is actually dragging them to a deep debt not lift up their life. Some of those bullied managed hardly to get to university, but the outcome was far more than what the parents wish; more than 5 years just to finish Bachelor's Degree program, and hold a 2,75 GPA, some others needed 3 years to get a part-time Degree (Diploma). Talking too much, bullying me and my brother, but in reality, their life ends up in averange stage. Most of them are still rely on their parent even though getting married and having children; staying in their parent's house or in-law's house or parents bought a house for them, financially still need parent help.🤷‍♀️🙄

How I am able to stand up today is because I worked hard and planned my life carefully in each step. Staying to keep the focus on my goals, being consistent, and be disciplined. One thing that is very important is I have believed school is my passport to get a better life in the future. Staying in school and getting a degree is definitely the most important part of how I am able to lift up my life. For instance, my standard life, my lifestyle, everything has changed gradually. Nowadays I can afford healthy ingredients for example fish, fruit, et cetera. Those things are exclusive for us who came from a village because in the past I was just satisfied with dried fish which was food for low-income families. Of course, sending my brother to down syndrome school. Nowadays, many friends have said I have changed in everything since the last time they saw me in secondary school, high school, or on campus. 

A few years ago a classmate from high school said this to me, "I do not need to study in a university it isn't necessary because nowadays I can learn from the internet (googling and YouTube)." Well, I just replied "Good luck!" These days, no one in the institution would give us promotions unless we upgrade our skills or degree by gaining certification. The job itself would be stuck and never going anywhere if we don't adapt to changes. As the result, it affects our lives as well. So, if we do not make changes, changing our thought, behave, and manners, our life would not be able to change in the way that we want for a better future.

In my view, each education stage would guide us to grow and improve our ability which gives us an opportunity to open and get a better life in the future. And it is crucial for us who come from low-income families. Me for example, in primary school which was before my father lost his excellent job, I didn't care much about my future as I did know well that I would have a bright future without work hard in anything. So, I didn't care to involve in any performance in school at all. However, after fifth grade, gradually I had changed. Starting from sixth grade by joining a choir in my school; at secondary school, I learned how to create a study in a group. In high school, I struggled to learn how to speak in the front audience when held a presentation, brushed off my nervousness when spitting out my thought in the class as my teachers asked me my opinion, and I needed to be brave enough to walk into the whiteboard and solved Math or Chemistry questions. In my university life, I had sharped those abilities by learning new things that gave me benefits. As a university student in the Economic program I had always busy with papers each week; at least 2 papers a week and made a presentation. Whether individual or in a group, this assignment needed lots of work. Those tasks without my knowing it builds on how I thought about something or a case. Moreover, it gained my confidence in presentation as I decided to work in marketing while studying at university. While other students hanging around, made a romance with their boyfriend and girlfriend, went shopping at the mall,  dine-in at a restaurant, some others visiting tourist spots and cinemas on Saturday night, meanwhile me? I was meeting with my colleagues from 3 PM until 6 PM on Saturday. Guess what, all my colleagues were much older than me, I was the youngest one. So, they became my new family. After meeting and back home, I had still lots of works to do such as preparing presentations, listing potential customers, making schedules for the next week et cetera. I do still remember that many friends looked down on my job in marketing. But who's knows, because of my marketing job, I got easy to manage 25 to 500 production workers when I worked as an executive assistant. I didn't work under any department but directly under the owner of the company. Since then, I had learned how to talk and speak confidently in front of people (it doesn't matter who they are). Day by day I had been growing since I was in sixth grade and developing new skills and knowledge in each stage of my education. For me, personally, study at a university is important; it's like a door that we need to open. Education brings us in the front of this door, but we have to open this door by ourselves. Without a degree with a good GPA, I could not become an executive assistant straightaway; without assignments from my lectures, lots of papers, and presentations, I wasn't able to fit in my first job in marketing. Everything is connected and it's all starts with education. Therefore, if there is any person who doubted that education has the ability to change our lives, what I can say is just, "Good luck and have a nice life!" because I don't wait for luck.

A few years ago someone said to me that I didn't deserve to live overseas because I was just a village girl who lived in the ugly house nearby irrigation and my father was nothing. What rude speaking🤨 Well, there is a bunch of stories about villager children who succeeded in their life because worked hard to get a degree. One of them is my senior in high school. She and her family lived in a bamboo house. Many neighbors bullied them. However, she and her brother managed to study at a university and got a Degree. As result, the last time I heard about them, they were able to build a decent house in the village, living in a good shape, and happy life even her brother lived in the capital city. Everyone who bullies them in the past got extremely jealous. Another story comes from a girl which was my junior. After the divorce, her mother left out of hometown to work in order to send her daughter to one of the best schools in another city. This girl and her brother succeeded to study in one of the excellent schools where no one villager children went to the prestigious school. As result, they live in the best of their life! So, education lifted them up out from poverty, changing their life for a better one. Indeed, not become millionaires, but with education, we can break the circle of poverty in our life. 

Many people look for instant outcome, they think after getting a degree we directly become rich having lots of money. There is no shortcut way to the top of a mountain, we need to get through an arduous path along the way unless our father is a president director of a big company; that's another story. If we are common folk, we need to plan our future life, what we want to be, and how to get there. It requires multiple hard works even made sacrifices like me I needed to work at 11 years old. Even after getting married, my husband and I had planned our life about what a life we wanted in the future. We made meticulous plans before married. And our story on how we reached a better life started from zero saving as a couple and lived in a small city then upgrade by living in the capital city with a good shape of life. This story was published in a famous women's magazine in Indonesia and became an inspirational story. Well, it was just a small part of my journey because if I write down the whole story, it becomes 3 books of novels or might be 4 books.🤔😅

That's what I had experiences on how I managed to write my own future by staying at school and got a degree at least, Bachelor's Degree. Without it, I would not stand in the place where I stand today. 

Note:

• Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Do not copy this article without permission

Why Become Jealous People If We Can Learn Something and Inspire Others

Have you ever felt unhappy seeing your friend, or it could be your family when they have a happy family, success in their career, living in the best stage, et cetera? If you are upset about it and start become jealous, from now on stop this habit and do not let this jealous seed conquer your life. Why? Life is beautiful, you can learn in so many things in this world and upskilling. Who's knows, you would inspire others😊

The first time I heard "jealous people" was when I was in grade 5. Suddenly my father had to face court to find justice and took back his job. People who set up him were actually his colleagues which meant his own friends. Why they had to work on dirty hands, were they my father's friends who worked together as a team and friends as well? The word "friend" was nothing to them as it related to desires and extremely jealous people who had not hesitated to cut down the tree in front of them and pushed someone from the cliff to clean the path by bribing the judge to win the case, paid fake witnesses, made the evidence diminish. They even did not care what casualties may emerge, for instance, my brother and I might be dropped out, the worst part was there was no single money left in my father saving which meant we could not buy food because of the fight in the court was not only draining my father energy but also wiped out his money. Even though my father had full confidence would win the case, by the end of the day, he gave up after these grudging "friends" harshly threatened my father and forced him to give up; my father was worried about his family's safety so he chose to pull back. All those things happened just because envious. That's my story when the first time I clearly know what's the meaning of jealousy. 

In my experiences, I had encountered lots of similar things that relate to jealous people whether friends or family/relatives. Most of them were cowards by pretending to become my friends or close family in front of me yet on the back they had been trying hard to take me down to the ground. While a few of them, bravely telling me how jealous they are of all my achievements. A few years ago, one of cousin said that she felt envy of me because I was popular that attracted a lot of attention like a magnet. My name spread fast among students in school and neighborhood. As far as I can tell, I had always good at my academics in school which most teachers and school mate adored me, while in the community which meant in the neighborhood many children who were younger than me gave me higher respect and I became their inspiration and idol. These kids followed me everywhere until I was in high school; sometimes they asked me to teach them how to wrap a present, another time they asked for help in their study, I taught them to make handmade dolls, learned together to make flowers from straw that we collected & made a bag from cardboard, worked at the same place after school to earn some money, planted flowers, and they loved to watch me drawing since those kids liked cute and pretty pictures, for instance, Mickey Mouse, Winnie The Pooh, panda, flower, butterfly, scenery et Cetera.  In my view, it was nothing special about those activities. Those were just my daily life that every villager children could do it. The big question is, are they willing to do it? Like my cousins and many kids, they liked to poke around without any purpose. Therefore, it is not my responsibility if they have a different future. What I can tell, all of those jealous people knew I had been working hard on my study to get where I am today, and I had always wanted to learn something new. There was no reason to have envy feeling on me. But, in reality, many of them (and their parent) hate me because of that even they insult me and bullied my brother.

Achievement is something that we must work on it. And do not think it is an instant to reach it. There is no quick road to get to the top of the mountain, we have to walk through a perilous journey, unless, once again unless you come from a rich family. If we are just commoner and poor, then sit tight and fasten your seatbelt!💪💪 The key is consistency and never give up. Hence, we do not have to feel greedy when our friends or family member hold a trophy. There is no use to sow envious seeds in our hearts that would lead us to nowhere. Instead, finding something that captivated our passion, work on it, will definitely make us unique and special people. Enjoying designing then craft it if you love it, get the gardening tools and do gardening if you love flowers, go get the certificate of baking and open stall if you fall in love with cakes, cutting the fabric if you are interested in the dress then become a tailor. Moreover, who's knows, what we do right now even if a small from start, it could inspire others in the future.  The point is it has always an opportunity for anyone. Do not get a broken heart just because we are not able to enroll at a university and get the degree while others can. Then hate your friend or family because they get the certificate and great at a university. Instead of feeling unfortunate, we could take a course first to get skills and ability to find a job; saving money consistently, and believe me, after a few years in no time we hold a degree. Isn't that a long road? Yes, it is! Like I mentioned before, consistency and never give. Open your own path, the rest will follow. 

If someone asks me, do I have envious of others achievements? It was hard when our lives turned upside down. I did not have any pretty dress anymore, couldn't afford branded school shoes, especially in my campus life when many female students were fashionable people, and I just wore my father's shirt and clothes made from the cheapest fabric that I bought from my hometown market😂🤨🙄 But who's cares about my appearance? My priority was to study and work hard for a better future. I think it has intriguing stories about it by seeing the fact that I got high respect during my university life even famous among students. I had never gotten bullied at school since primary school. People who bullied and insulted me mostly from close ones such as family or relatives.

I have believed everyone is special even though disabled. So, I would rather explore and learn many things in this life than grudging other people. There was a bunch brilliant student in my school since I was in kindergarten until in university life. Their rank was higher than mine. But, instead of having jealous feelings in my mind, I brushed this kind of feeling out and did something that I was excited about and enjoyed it!😉 For instance, I joined the choir when I was in 6 grade and our school won the first prize in the competition. In secondary school, my friend and I won first place in a sports competition. In high school, I joined a prestigious extracurricular and I had an achievement on this. In addition, picked volleyball as my other extracurricular in high school. The reason why I joined this group was...I was goddam bad at volleyball!😅 As a result, I got second place in the final sports exam in our final year in high school. Therefore, do not allow jealous seeds to grow in our hearts because it leads you nowhere on this earth. When people stay focus on their target, and you are busy trying to take them down and forget about your future, by the end of the day the world will leave you behind. Do not waste your precious time and start to learn something today while you can.

The most important thing that I did in past was to make smarter students became my friends so I was able to study together with them. As a result, it succeeded to lift up my grade, improve my studies year by year😊 So, why should we hate people who have a higher stage than us? There is the possibility to close to them, learn something from them how they work on their success, and get the opportunity to improve future life. 

Why we have to become jealous if we are able to learn something and can inspire others? Do not waste your time, your energy on something that unuseful and could not support you to get your medals. Start to work today and brush off your envy feeling by learning and upskilling. You do not know, what we are doing right now could inspire other people out there.

Note:

• Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Do not copy this article without permission

I am Proud To Become A Down Syndrome Sister

What? Are you serious about that? Yes, I am! If many people around us have always looked down on their special family member, in contrast, I am proud to become a down syndrome sister!😊

If he can choose, of course, my brother would pick the path as a normal boy. Based on bloodline, my father was an intelligent person, persistent, and had never stopped to learn something. I inherit all those lines just like twin mirrors. Meanwhile, my brother had a different fate that grows up as a down syndrome child. Well, we could not change fate, for instance, to be born into a rich family or poor family, born as a normal child or special one.  In my brother's case, that's what I call fate to grow up as a special child. However, whether we are regular or disabled people, the future is a mystery and what we can do is start work on the future from now on. What I have believed is when people work hard and never give up, they are able to reach a good life. The key is education. That is why I have always encouraged my brother to go to school and study hard. Yes, I met a couple blind people who are become independent people to this day. They took courses and learned to live independently by staying in the dorm, learned a skill that they could use to get money for a living. Who's know with that skill they were able to buy a house, motorcycle, have a good life, and having healthy two beautiful boys! So, people who look down on disable and do not believe in the importance of school, you must learn so many things in this life. Fate, we can't change it, but the future, it remains a mystery. With study at school, we can change our life for better one.

Talking about fate, sometimes some or many people misunderstood what fate is. One of our relatives said, "Just accept the fate that he can't do anything and going to school. Giving him food and drink, it's more than enough for him to live." Well, I disagree about that. We were a big family, having lots of aunties, uncles, and cousins. But only my father and I have always believed that school has the capability to change our lives in the future. As far as I can tell, not only my brother, when people around me whether neighbors and family or relatives knew that I went to high school then set sailing my journey by studying at university to get a degree, most of them also said, "Your father is poor, so you do not belong at school! Your life will never succeed!"  Another said, "Look at your father, he doesn't have money if you feel pity you should not study at university!" They treated me poorly, but they treated my brother even harshly and rudely. Cousins only passed by our home, none of them asked him to play together by riding a bike around. They came only on purpose, one minute then left without even say "Hi" to my brother. My brother who sat at the terrace had always the one who saw them wandering. Like our cousin who lived in the city when came to my father's house with their parent and stayed for vacation, they didn't share their coco pie with my toddler brother; hiding around my father's garden and ate the snacks. What kind of manner is that?🤷‍♂️ People looked down on him, furthermore, they avoided to close to my brother because in their eyes my brother was a stupid boy. For them, embarrassing to have a cousin like him and stayed close to him. It was the reason why people said that he should stay at home, just gave him food and drink, accepted fate.

When we lived in the village, I do remember that my brother loved to ride a bike, going to a regular primary school on his own. Coming back home at noon, took a rest for a while, and at late noon he went to study in another class (unformal school); he was willing to take a course. As far as I can see, he was able to determine what he wanted even though a down syndrome child. Compare to other villager children who most of them didn't take any serious attention in school and drop out. Without any credentials, no one hires them for jobs, as a result, they just wandered around and relied on their parents. Many of them became stealers who stole fruit, chicken, duck from their neighborhood.

Unlike me who had never bought snacks and lunch at school, my brother's pocket money was the same as me and loved to buy veggie fritter, ice, or any snacks at the school canteen. After went back home, he still ate some snacks. He just looked like other children and wanted to go to school and socialize in the community. Sadly, most people around us rejected him. People said he was an unintelligent, brainless kid just because he could not catch up in the class. Especially my father's partner, she didn't accept that my brother was a down syndrome child and felt embarrassed to have a child-like him. Practically, she didn't want him going to school because she thought he had no future. Similar to others, for her,  "giving him daily food and drink just more than enough for him to live."  Something that much more tragic, she said my brother was crazy and sent him to the treatment for crazy people. I could not forgive this kind of action even until this day. 

Maybe my brother was unlucky, my father lost his decent job and everything when he needed full support. He didn't have any opportunity to get the proper school. That time, my father fought for justice in court for a year or more after his colleagues set him up for something that he didn't do for the company. Meanwhile, my father's partner objected to sending him to a down syndrome school in the city. Moreover, she even raised her voice when my father convinced her. Sadly for my father, after he encountered the hardest event in his life; losing a decent job, zero saving money, he pulled back which meant his partner took over on every decision in the household since my father was not able to give her money like before. Divorcing my father wasn't a good move because many eyes watched her. Moreover, she knew I love my father even though he didn't have money anymore I would like to sacrifice myself to take a job after school. Well, after 3 years, every day, told me the stories of her ex-boyfriend with the hope I would take her side and so that she could marry her ex, all her effort was futile. Therefore, she decided that my brother went to a regular elementary school nearby. Luckily, the headmaster was a kind and gentle person, he encouraged my brother. However, by the end of the day, my father's partner pulled off my brother from school before he got a credential because for her it was wasting time and money. I was disappointed with her act. 

After my father passed away, my brother's situation got even worst. None of the family offered me help to sending him to a down syndrome school in the city where I tried building my career. They were worried I wasn't able to pay back the debt to them if they lend me money for my brother's tuition fee. Unlike my father who cared for his entire family by helping them when he was a successful career man, what I can say, my father's family just a bunch of jealous people who loves to spread hatred. They hated and insulted me because I was outstanding, they insulted and bullied my brother because he has down syndrome. Meanwhile, my father's widow just had been busy finding a new husband, using my father's money to provide for her lifestyle, took all of my father's properties (a house with big yards and garden, crop field) to secure her life without working. Not even once she cared to send my brother to a down syndrome school. What a poor boy, by looking at the fact I am the one who inherits all my father's endless money and the properties as well, I should able to send my only brother to school that day after my father died. Unfortunately, I don't hold that money not even one cent even until today. I wasn't able to send my brother to school at that time. 

Luckily, a person who gave me monthly school assistant took my brother as one of her employees since he didn't do anything at home because my father's widow dragged him down from school. My brother was happy to have a job and wage that enough for his living. Tragically, he got accident at work because all his co-workers threatened him, bullied him physically and verbally while he was working hard, and just grateful to have the job. He stayed at this job for around a year or less than a year ( I forgot it). It was not a safe environment for him. 

I tried to send my brother back to school. That time was a more likely private school. The school's owner was a kind and gentle couple who initiative to build a school from scratch in our lovely hometown to provide an affordable school for families who lived in poverty. They wanted children from low-income family got a chance to get an education. They had had around 30 students (or more) when they were willing to take my brother as one of their students. I was grateful and delighted. In return, I helped them financially by paying tuition fees for about 10 students monthly (until today I didn't know whether the school owner received that money since my father's widow held my brother monthly money that I send for him regularly). Sadly, less than 2 years, suddenly my father's widow pulled off my brother from this private school. It was too obvious, as far as I can see, she made trouble with my brother's teachers, I assume it was about tuition fees. Once again, my brother didn't have a chance to get a credential.

I was tired of all the drama that my father widow created, and all of the trouble she developed not only with my brother's teachers but also people who cared a lot about my brother's future. She ditched my kindness aunty, and also my grandma. This is it, I must decisive by taking my brother under my wing after more than 2 years I repaid my "debt" every month to that my father's widow. What a "debt" is it? Not long after my father buried in the ground, his widow forced me to pay all the money that my father spent to send me to a university. In front of my kind aunt, she said I had a "debt' to her and I should repay. Well, I paid for it, and said: "goodbye." Since that day, I took him out from all the chaos which means he's with me. I sent him to a down syndrome school.

Gradually, my brother develops his confidence. He has met lots of people on his journey. Having many friends, meeting a new family, and experiences wonderful events in his life. His life is colorful like a rainbow after the storm. He has learned to live independently by staying at the school dorm. Making a bed after waking up in the morning, cleaning the dorm, helping to prepare food at the kitchen dorm, doing laundry & folding his own laundry, is just his daily routine in the school dorm. Meanwhile, in class, the teachers have taught him many subjects. And because it is a down syndrome school, it has another program to develop skills such as making snacks and sells them, creating handmade beautiful fabric and sell them, do gardening, making another handmade handicraft, et cetera. Particularly, my brother loves music and art, therefore he likes singing and drawing. Just like our father who loved drawing and singing, we both, my brother and I are also like music and art. He has always excited to sing in front of the audience at school events. All day long, my brother has always been busy at school since he wakes up before the crack of the dawn, going to the classes, and the school finishes at 3 PM. What a long day for a down syndrome boy!😊

All my hard work is paid off; my brother attended his graduation ceremony about 2 weeks ago. Since that day when he walked on the stage with head up, he has held a credential that equivalent to regular high school. I am so proud of him as he has always worked hard in school. He starts his study from scratch again around 9 or 10 years ago after twice hadn't chanced to finish school. I do not want to give up on him and he also doesn't want to give up either. As a result, finally, he got an achievement. I think it is the best present for the 64th birthday of our father in June this year and the best gift on Father's Day for our beloved father. I bet if he still around today, he would have the biggest smile on my brother's graduation day same as when I got my Bachelor's degree many years ago. A decade ago, people said it was too late to send my brother to a down syndrome school, waste money, and time as well. Even my father's sister who had a job as a teacher said that it was useless brought him back to school and waste money. I wonder, what kind of teacher she is; objecting to a boy who needed school. In my view, late to study is far better than never. Furthermore, going to school is an investment for our future.

I do still remember a decade ago, one of our cousins insulted and bullied him verbally. She said my brother was an uneducated boy, a stupid poor boy, and no future at all. After years, while my brother has gone for adventure and study to get achievement, she has just stayed on the same stage, hasn't got her Bachelor degree (a big possibility is never ever to get it), career hasn't gone anywhere, and plain life. Nothing extraordinary has happened to her since the last time she harshly bullied my brother. Like others who looked down on my brother because he has down syndrome, she thought that she was a normal smarter girl that definitely far better than a disabled boy to climb up her life higher especially her life and career brightly. Year by year she tried hard to get her dream career but it hasn't come. None of her siblings get Bachelor's degrees either, and their life just average. What I have learned about our life in the past is that the future hasn't written yet, we do not know how the future come out. But one thing for sure, we can work hard for a better outcome. By insulting and bullying others would never lift up our life in the coming time. The choice is yours, rolling in the mud like a pig, or work hard, walk with your head up for a great future. 

Now, what the plan for my brother after graduation? Well, my husband and I have discussed the next step for him. I am very excited to see him in the next few years, what achievement he will get and how far he can go. Life is an adventure!🤗 

Note:

• Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Do not copy this article without permission

Treat People Like You Want To Be Treated

I believe, what kind of the seed we sow today, we'll harvest it someday. Some people say you can't expect to harvest bright sweet cherry tomatoes if we plant chili seeds. In this case, how our attitude toward others would reflect on how people treat us. For this reason, it is a wise move for us to treat other people nicely by giving them the best gratitude and gesture. 

Not long ago someone asked, why I didn't reply to her message and assumed that I got mad. Back a few years ago, this person with his brother bothered me almost every day to get as much as information they needed and asked for help with their issues about university matters. After getting what they wanted gradually both of them just disregard me even I wasn't able to contact one of them when I needed hands. After some time, they showed up because one of them desperately asked for help to solve the crucial problem. Although we were disappointed with them, one more time we helped him. At first, I just thought they were busy with their life so I didn't pay any serious matters to it since they were my relative. However, my friend concern about those people on how they behave toward me, and my friend said, "You know what, they just want benefits, not a sincere relationship." Since that day I have started to open up my mind widely to see their acts carefully. First, they disrespected me, second is came to me only for benefits and wanted something, third is suddenly became friendly and cared for by using my brother. Well, they knew I love my brother, so by asking how's my brother doing, his school and hopefully, they would get my attention. But after years of observing their attitude and manner, I must decisive and make a bold decision. In another word, I don't want to associate with them anymore, no more help, no more information, no more a favor.  Because of this, they said I am angry with them. I bet after I ignore them back, they would roll out a story to their entire family and friends that I treat them badly. Doesn't make an effort to plant a beautiful flower yet demand to cut splendid blossom in the garden?🤷‍♀️

Another case was far more amusing to pen down in this article. I had always treasured everyone who said that they were my friends or family. Because of this reason, I often checked them by sending messages. The answer that I got was this; "Who's this?" and it repeated in another month. It's too obvious that this person had never saved my number (my number hasn't changed) which meant I was not important. The interesting part was how she did remember me after did not able to identify me before. This person recalled me when she would get married. Of course, after getting a package that full of presents she disappeared. A few years later this person showed up again by alluring me about her daughter's birthday and hoped I would send a birthday package for her daughter. I just took no notice of it and the next happened was she developed a drama that I forgot an old friend. Another person acted the same thing, asked for a favor, got what she wanted, then disappeared. A few years later came to me asked for something again, and I ignored her back. What happened then, this person got angry and a year later begged for forgiveness. What I can say, I had had enough.

Life is beautiful when we choose positively and staying drama-free. The case that similar had often emerged for years and all of them had the same goal; they wanted benefits whether asked me about crucial information, goods or stuff, or even money.🤷‍♀️

The reason why I had always tried to be nice to people who disrespect and ignore me was that my father taught me to have always treated others gently. Therefore, I had been trapped with this mindset for so many years until 4 years ago my friend opened up my mind. Actually, there is nothing wrong with what my father wanted. He just made sure that I would become a kind person in the future. And I am glad about it. However, I think we do not need to waste our time just to bond with people who just want benefits from us. They do not deserve our attention. It would better to keep people who try and make an effort to keep us. By building a healthy relationship, we can grow a strong connection, and the most important thing is to hold hands together to support the dream we have. 

We can't expect others to become friendly with us if we have never shown a good gesture. In my view, to build up relationships we need an effort to maintain time by time. In my experience, We just need to do the simple thing continuously. For example: during my time living in my village when there was no smartphone and internet, I wrote letters to my friends. After moving to another city and abundant sources I used to write an e-mail to my friend. Nowadays, I have internet and a smartphone, at least once a month check my friend by sending a message about how are they up to. On special occasions for instance birthday, Christmas, Chinese New Year, and Hari Raya, et cetera; I send a proper message not emoji. Another we can do is by sending a card, gifts, or a package. And do not think when I say gift, this gift or present must expensive. What the hell no! In my opinion, it would great if we create the gift by ourselves. In my case, I have always made handmade flowers for my friends it could be brooch or hair accessories. What about my male friend? At this point, I often send something for his children, it could be a children's book, stationery, et cetera. Just like that? YES! Sometimes we do not realize by doing a small thing could be valuable to someone. For example, people would absolutely delighted to receive birthday messages, Christmas cards, or presents at a special event especially when we make handmade gifts with our hands. That's my friends on how to decipher their feeling when getting my handmade brooch and hair accessories, they have always loved my work and appreciate how much time that I have to spend to make the present. Price is nothing compare to the warm heart that we offer to tie up the relationship.😊

Despite the event that I encountered, I have been met with kindness and carrying people wherever I go and stay. Sometimes a stranger at first but then becomes more like a new family to me. I do still remember when I decided to study at a university in a faraway city from my hometown. People around me mostly assumed that I would not survive since they thought I didn't have any friends and I had never traveled to any cities. In contrast, the achievement that I have made washing them away even further. Because in reality, I made a friend from overseas since I was in the third year of high school and made lots of friends during my university life even local people. I do not have any difficulties bonding with the people surrounding me.  Like nowadays, many foreigners who live in Singapore have always said that it wasn't easy to close to their neighbors; most of them do not know their own neighbors. In contrast, I have made friends with my neighbors and have exchanged foods during festive seasons such as Chinese New Year, Christmas, and Hari Raya. By treating others nicely we will get good things in return that surrounded by good people who have always support us. 

Life is beautiful if we spread kindness and happiness. Instead of making trouble, we can create the best world we live in by giving the best gratitude and gesture, also we have always grateful for our life. We should treat other people like the one we want to be treated. That's what I call a wonderful life.

Note:

• Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Do not copy this article without permission
• Do not reuse this photograph anywhere else without permission

 

 

The Benefits of Cooking Our Meal at Home

 

The Journey of Ichi's Family: simple yet tasty and healthy meal - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Cooking at home? Why not? Some people keep saying that their life is busy and do not have time to cook meals at home. But, do you realize there are some of the many benefits we will gain if we change our mind and habit so that enjoying much more time in the kitchen has become a daily routine. 

Gladly, I was born and grew up in a remote village where people cook their own meals every day. Many of them grew vegetable and fruit trees in the yards so that provided food sources without spent more money to buy ingredients. Most of the villagers went to work in the field at 5.30 AM and came back home at 5 PM. Yet, they were able to cook their meals daily without absence. So, naturally, it is not my habit to buy food from a food stall, take away food, or dine-in in the restaurant. I admit, when my father was a successful career man, we often buy food from a food stall for our dinner in the market. However, this habit was suddenly gone in our circumstances after my father loses everything. Since that day, my habit had gradually changed and it leads me to what I am today. 

Vegetable Japanese curry serves with linguine and veggie fritter. The recipe is on Ichi's Fusion Recipe - Photographed by RDZ

For some people cooking is not easy and consumes much more time in our daily life. Meanwhile, others have been busy with their routine so cooking is barely impossible. Another, they just love to buy food from outside and don't want to associate with "dirty" work in the kitchen. A "dirty" work? Yes, they afraid their beautiful nails will break and has an awful body smell. I think people have their own reason why prepare a meal sounds tough. Whatever other people think, I found there are some benefits we will get if we cook  our own dishes at home.

1. Saving money

As cheaper labor, my father only earned about $ 4 a month. We could not survive until a week with this little money. We did not buy foods from food stalls anymore and making our meals daily instead. The main reason was household income could not support our old lifestyle. Simply, cooking every meal at home was the only way to throughout a month; you can say "struggling." When we had additional money, my father saved it for an emergency or another purpose that important for instance to support my education in the future. That's how it worked by cooking at home we managed to get through the rough situation.

After married, I do intent to cook daily in order to save money and I wanted to make sure that we did not over budget in foods. We had lived in a small city after married for about 6 months. In this city, one portion meal would cost IDR 3,000. So, about at least IDR 9,000 just for 2 meals and drinks for 2 people. Meanwhile, with IDR 10,000 I could buy ingredients and fruit (banana or papaya) that enough for our lunch and dinner. Believe me, it was not that simple as you thought since my cooking knowledge was limited. I learned one by one recipe every single day; starting from the easier dish in the kitchen. Our married began from scratch; our bank account was zero. Yet, we were able to move to Singapore. Most of my friends think that my family helped me out. As you know, moving to another country needs an act of courage and brave enough to endure all the costs. And because our lifestyle has always eaten at home, we succeed to save money. And, since 2018 we have been planning to move to another country again to pursue our academics. If we ignore the importance of cooking at home, making our own meals routine, we are not here today.🙂

Chicken breast sate serves with homemade rice cake that made from Japanese rice and boiled spinach. You can't find chicken breast sate like this in any food stall - Photographed by RDZ

Here in Singapore, a portion of Japanese curry would cost about $7. But making it at home, buying a pack of Japanese curry paste only costs $6 - $7 and it's for 12 serving! Can you believe that? Carrot only costs about $ 1 until $ 2 and it's enough for a week. A pack of Australian potatoes is about $5 a week unless we want a baked potato. Moreover, I can cook healthier Japanese curry by adding carrot, potato, kale, or tofu into my curry sauce. Believe me, even though the restaurant said Japanese curry but there is no sign of vegetables in the curry sauce. 🤷‍♀️😅 At home, I can make tempura tofu or tempura tempeh, veggie fritter, or boiled egg, to accompany my Japanese curry. In the restaurant that we visited, they do not make "tempura yassai" or known as tempura veggie. 

Pan-fry salmon; recipe on Ichi's Fusion Recipes - Photographed by RDZ

Another example is the Salmon dish. You guess, how much 1 portion dish of a salmon menu? In the food court is about $12 for one meal or even more expensive when you go to the restaurant. But when I cook salmon at home, generally, 4 slices of frozen salmon is about $ 19, and $ 13 for 4 slices of frozen salmon when a discount! 4 slices of salmon which mean 4 portions. Moreover, the taste of my recipe much more great and delicious than from the food stall. It's the reason why I would rather eat at home and cook our meal!

I love saba or you call it mackerel fish. In the food court in any mall one portion saba menu is about $6,5. It's the cheapest one. Like always, it serves without any vegetables at all.🤷‍♀️ On the contrary, I can make a healthier set saba menu at home. The taste? My saba is delightful and no fishy smell. Besides, the vibrant vegetable on the plate is served with my saba. Guess, how much the price of one pack of saba that contains 3 slices of fillet saba? It is about $ 6 for 3 slices of frozen fillet saba! I often buy saba and cook this menu at home which means I can make 3 portions of the saba menu at home!

Pan fry saba cook with butter & onion, boiled carrot, and kale, fresh radish, Japanese rice with furikake on top of it, grape. Recipe on Ichi's Fusion Recipes! - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

By looking at the three menus above, you can count how much money that I can save by cooking at home. This number is huge when we are talking about dining out at the restaurant and food court in Singapore. My Japanese friend said, "dining out is expensive, isn't it? Here Japanese prefer to make their own meal rather than dining out because expensive." It definitely involves lots of monthly income. And I do not want to waste our money on that, and I would like to use it to upgrade our degree, helping others who need help, or any kind of important matter like. My Indonesian friends have always said that living in Singapore is great that we can go to the cafe, restaurant, or it could be bar more often because it is a vibrant city. But if you ask me, am I often spending my time at those places? nope, not a chance! Unless there is any strong reason or purpose. 😉✌ Personally, I would like to invite over friends for dinner at my home so that they can bring their family (husband/ wife and their kids). 

2. Better Food: Healthy Food, Healthy Body

As I mentioned in the first point, buying Japanese curry from one of the restaurants that we visited, we could not find any trace of vegetable on it. I can't believe because Japanese loves vegetable on the daily meal, so why this restaurant is not able to provide this essential element? Are you sure it is a Japanese curry restaurant? 🤷‍♀️

For me, I think it's hard to find a menu that contains vegetables on it if I want to buy from outside which means a food stall. the ingredient they use is much more likely to give me health issues, for instance, sore throat just after an hour ate fried rice from one of the food stall nearby. Another is diarrhea right away after eating some of the particular foods from the food stall. There are just some effects of eating food that I do not know what kind of ingredients the food stall use and how they prepare and cook. At home, all my recipes do not contain sugar, I also only use low sodium salt, canola oil, or olive oil. Moreover, I substitute coconut milk with cooking cream and I avoid chili because those two ingredients make my stomach upset. Sort of to say, home cooking is healthier than takeaway food. The reason is we choose the ingredients cautiously, clean the ingredient before cook intentionally, and we plan our meals thoughtfully. 

Fried Hokkien noodle from my kitchen recipe, using low sodium salt, no sugar, olive oil, with a ton of vegetable - Photographed by RDZ

Look at the first picture in this article, it's simple yet tasty and healthy. I cooked rice cake made from Japanese rice, vegetable soup with meatballs, and tempura tofu. You could not find a menu like this at the food stall. When we cook our own meal at home, we consider and choose the ingredient carefully, clean, and cook with thoughtful. As result, we will gain a healthy body. And I am proud of myself when many of my friends have health issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, and many of them have sight problems and wearing glasses, meanwhile, my husband and I are just fine.🙂

3. Upskilling cooking talent

The great news if we choose to cook our meal at home is we will sharp our cooking skills by learning every day in the kitchen. Day by day, week by week, finally after years we can master it. The only matter is are you willing to learn? 

Some of my friends said, "Oh, you can cook?" Another said, "Yeah, you are clever so no wonder you can cook like that." I think it is a wrong perception on how someone could master on skill. Do you think if you have always been dining out, or just simply hire a maid and let her cook for you daily, then you can upgrade cooking skill? Well, like I mentioned before that I learn my cooking skill from scratch by making my meals daily and I am still learning today!😉 There is no instant move in every step to reach something. We have to move forward and do not ever think that we can't do it. We must embrace the difficulty upfront and pass it. 

Tempura tempeh and tempura tofu from my kitchen made using Japanese batter - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

By making the daily recipe at home, creating new dishes, finding another way to cook, slowly but surely we can improve our kitchen technic and taste better and better. What I have believed is our hard work will be paid off someday or another day. Who's know we can open a food stall someday or selling food and become a business owner. It sounds great, doesn't it?

4. The Opportunity to Open Business

I just said on point 3, there is an opportunity for us to open business by selling food. That's a golden door! From a small thing could become a big one in the future. 

For you who do not have any restriction to open food stall at home, you can try to take this opportunity. Cooking for the family yet we can sell it and get some money. Sometimes we underestimate our own skill, but if we are able to see it deeply, the fact is our ability to make food is a natural flow on our DNA. We just need to sharpen it until getting the best taste. And do not ever think if we fail, it does mean a doomsday. There is someone that I know who start the business even before she masters it. While opening a  home-based business, she is learning how to cook some particular foods. 

My fried rice! My recipe has always used low sodium salt, no sugar, no MSG, using olive oil or canola oil, and full with veggie. The rice itself is Japanese rice - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

I had learned from the people in my village that some of them were business owners. Most of them were a food stall and sold a simple menu, for instance, "pecel" known as Indonesian salad. Indonesian salad was comfort food for many residents in the tiny village. Everyone could easily make it at home, but why there was still a door to open a food stall and sold it? what I could say is the business owner was a courageous person. She made this particular salad at home for her family. She spent lots of time in the kitchen and intended to learn how to stew, grill, bake, et cetera. As result, she made money by selling "pecel" from home. Just like that? Yes! It just only one of example how cooking at home can open the opportunity to make money. Sometimes, a business idea comes from our daily basis, one of them is food, our comfort food at home. 

There are some benefits to cooking at home. First is saving money, then better food, and it could upskilling our cooking skill, the last is the opportunity to open business. There is my preference that preparing our own meals can lead us to get benefits. 

Note:

• Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti and RDZ
• Do not copy this article without permission
• Do not reuse these photographs anywhere else without permission