The Journey of Ichi's Family

My Master's Journey in Belgium: How I Graduated on Time

Graduating on time can be effortless for some, yet challenging for others. However, with discipline and consistency, we can overcome obstacles and achieve this goal. Still, discipline and consistency alone are not enough; we must also remain fully committed to the path we choose.

Everyone has their own goals and targets, and ultimately, the responsibility lies with us. Different paths lead to different outcomes, and each journey is unique. In this article, I will share tips based on my personal experience completing my Master’s degree in Belgium. My aim is to encourage and support others who are still working toward finishing their studies. Remember: You can do it!

1. Commitment

Commitment is the first and most important foundation when we choose a path. When I applied for Master’s programs, two in Belgium, one in Germany, and one in Luxembourg, I was fully aware of the program duration. Although I later discovered that I could extend my studies by another semester, I remained committed to completing the program in two years. Once I received two acceptance letters and chose the university I would attend, I made a commitment to that path. My target was clear: finish my Master’s degree in two years, as outlined by the program. This decision meant moving to Belgium and leaving my loved ones behind so I could focus entirely on my goal.

I enrolled in courses according to the program guidelines, carefully following the requirements for each semester. This step is crucial. Understanding your program’s structure prevents delays in graduation. For example, you must be aware of credit requirements, mandatory and elective courses, and deadlines for research or thesis submission. In short, commit to the courses you enroll in and fulfill them diligently.

2. Discipline

Discipline means being strict with yourself. To stay on track, you must create a plan. In my case, I designed a two-year plan for my Master’s program. If that feels overwhelming, break it down into smaller goals, for example, what you want to accomplish in the first or second semester, such as assignments, projects, research, or study milestones. Once you have a plan, it naturally translates into daily schedules.

From the very first semester, I tried my best to be disciplined. I followed unwritten schedules every day, seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day. Even weekends and holidays such as spring break, Christmas, summer, or public holidays were dedicated to making progress in my studies. Most nights, I worked past midnight, often sleeping only four hours, sometimes five or six if I was lucky. I treated my university life as if I were working for a company with a huge responsibility: the success of my Master’s degree. Every minute was precious, and I refused to waste it.

For assignments, I scheduled consistent weekend progress, about 30% on each assignment every weekend. This way, all assignments were completed simultaneously, often before the deadlines. I also allocated 8 hours per day to my research (thesis), usually three days a week, working from 9 AM until nearly midnight. Alongside assignments, I prepared exam materials on weekends to stay ahead.

I know discipline is challenging. I was often tired and exhausted, but in the end, graduating on time made every sacrifice worthwhile.

3. Adapt

Adapting to an unfamiliar place is equally important. During my first semester, I carefully observed my daily routines, for instance, class schedules, the university environment, commuting time from student housing to campus, and even practical tasks like laundry and grocery shopping. By understanding these routines, I was able to maximize my study time and blend learning into everyday activities. For example, I used my 45-minute train rides to read course materials, or quickly reviewed notes while commuting by bus. Even while waiting for laundry, which took more than an hour, I studied.

Another adjustment I made was choosing not to cook. For me, studying was more important than preparing meals. Cooking required buying ingredients at least twice a week, which meant extra time spent traveling to grocery stores, plus the time needed to prepare and cook. It simply didn’t fit my schedule. Instead, I gave myself 1.5 to 2 hours for lunch and dinner breaks, during which I warmed my food, took care of personal needs, and rested briefly before returning to my desk. Often, I watched Netflix while eating to relieve stress, then continued studying until midnight. Weekends and holidays were no exception; I kept working consistently.

Of course, this approach may not suit everyone. If you enjoy cooking or want to save money, you can certainly do so, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your study time. Some students told me, “It’s expensive if you don’t cook your own meals.” That’s completely true, and I agree with that. Personally, I had prepared financially before moving to Belgium. Since 2018, I researched the cost of living, rent, transportation, food options, and the possibility of buying meals instead of cooking. By the time I arrived in 2023, I was ready to adapt my lifestyle to focus entirely on my studies.

4. Focus

Focus is one of the most important factors when aiming to graduate on time. Believe me, there were many temptations during my studies in Belgium, shopping for clothes and shoes, exploring cities, or even traveling to other EU countries. While these activities were appealing, I reminded myself that I came to Belgium to study, not to sightsee. With demanding schedules, class materials, and assignments, I simply couldn’t afford distractions.

In my final semester, I faced one of the most challenging courses. To pass one of the hardest courses, I dedicated six weeks of intense study, working from 9 AM to 5 PM every weekday on that single subject. Failing the exam would have delayed my graduation, so I chose to stay focused. My target was clear: finish my Master’s degree in two years, no extensions.

This mindset wasn’t new to me. At 16, I moved away from my father’s house to study on another island, returning home only 10–14 days a year. While many classmates spent weekends exploring, I stayed focused on my studies, and as a result, I graduated faster than others. Later, I could visit this city again as a tourist, but during my studies, my priority was clear: graduate on time and reduce the financial burden on my father.

I carried the same mindset when I chose study in Belgium. My role there was to be a student, and my responsibility was to complete my Master’s degree. Sightseeing could wait until after graduation. Extending my studies would have meant paying for another academic year and increasing costs. For me, staying focused was not just about discipline. It was about responsibility and commitment.

Of course, everyone has their own perspective, and they are free to choose their path. But in my case, focus was one of the key principles that helped me graduate on time.

5. Do Not Hesitate to Ask for Guidance

During my studies, whenever I faced issues related to coursework or academic matters, I reached out directly to professors or faculty staff for help. This could be done through email or by asking questions after class. Seeking guidance is crucial if you want to graduate on time. In other words, building good relationships with professors and faculty can make your academic journey much smoother.

From my experience, most professors were very supportive, especially my thesis supervisor. I would like to give special thanks to promotor or my supervisor, whose guidance helped me complete my thesis on time.

You might wonder whether group study can also help overcome challenges. The answer is yes, definitely! If you find classmates who share the same goals and mindset, forming a study group can be very effective. In my case, however, I wasn’t able to form a proper group. From the first semester, I tried, but many students didn’t share the same vision. Some even misunderstood my intentions; one student thought I was trying to take advantage of others and even said my Master’s degree was useless. Despite that negativity, I stayed focused and worked mostly alone, occasionally exchanging help with a few supportive classmates.

In the end, I proudly stood on stage during my graduation ceremony because I graduated on time. I may not have been an honor graduate, but I achieved strong results in courses I was passionate about, one of them with a remarkable score of 19 out of 20. ✌️

7. Choose Your Thesis Topic Early

What does this mean? Simply put, you should select your thesis topic before the semester when it officially becomes mandatory. My Master’s program was completed in four semesters. In the third semester, we were required to register our thesis topic and begin working on it. At my university, research was mandatory from the very first semester. In semesters one and two, we worked on research papers, and in semesters three and four, we could continue those papers as our thesis.

In my case, I changed my research topic for various reasons. I began searching for thesis ideas as early as June 2024, right after exams. I approached four professors with my idea, and all of them welcomed me. This highlights the importance of Tip #5: “Do not hesitate to ask for guidance from professors and faculty.” Building good connections with professors to at least they recognize you and may even recommend colleagues if your topic doesn’t align with their expertise. For me, finding a thesis supervisor was smooth sailing, and I was grateful to work on my own research idea. The keys to completing my thesis on time were discipline, focus, and consistency.

At my university, students didn’t necessarily have to come up with their own topics. There was a system where we could log in and choose from research topics provided by professors. However, I wanted to pursue my own idea, which meant I had to approach professors directly.

Of course, working on a thesis comes with a packed schedule. Planning it like a project is essential to finishing on time. If I have the chance, I would love to share in another article how I planned my thesis project step by step.

7. Making Priorities

As I mentioned earlier, prioritizing is essential. I learned this lesson during my Master’s studies, where I often faced challenging decisions. Because I understood my limits, my top priorities, and the experiences I wanted to gain, I chose to be a full-time student.

Some may ask, “What if I want work experience?” My answer is: it depends on your priorities. If you believe you can balance both university and work, that’s fine, as long as you know what you’re doing and what you want to achieve. Ultimately, it comes down to what matters most to you.

Prioritizing can be tough. For example, in my second semester, I enrolled in a Dutch language course. I was eager to learn, but the class started three weeks late, which clashed with my university exam schedule. Although the teacher allowed me to arrive late for the evaluation, I chose to focus on my university exam. Passing my exam was more important because failing would have delayed my graduation.

Another situation arose when I had to choose between doing an internship or focusing on my thesis. In my third semester, I tried to secure an internship and even created a timeline for when it should start and end. However, the search took longer than expected and conflicted with my thesis schedule. I had to let the internship go and instead enrolled in two elective courses, one of which was the hardest course in the program. This left me with five courses plus my thesis in the final semester. It was overwhelming, but with focus, discipline, and consistency, I managed to overcome the challenges.

8. Manage Stress and Health

During my studies, whenever I didn’t have classes or campus activities, I often stayed in my room, sitting at my desk from 10 AM until midnight. I only stepped out to warm food, buy groceries, or do laundry. To manage stress, I took short breaks to watch Netflix, which helped me relax. Fortunately, I wasn’t interested in sightseeing, shopping, or going out in cold weather, so I preferred staying indoors. When I had extra time, I used it to catch up on sleep, since I rarely slept enough during my Master’s program. Many mornings, my eyes were swollen from exhaustion.

As for health, I must admit my diet wasn’t ideal. I often ate unhealthy food, but I made sure to include fruits and vegetables in every meal and took vitamins regularly. Whenever I traveled by bus or train, I wore a mask, not because I was sick, but to avoid getting sick. In my first academic year, I caught the flu, had a cough, and even tested positive for COVID. But in my second year, I managed to stay free from flu, cough, and COVID infections. Still, I wasn’t truly healthy because I constantly forced my body to stay awake day and night. My biggest problem was the lack of rest and sleep.

I remember the last week before summer break, when I had both a thesis defense and another exam. My body felt like it was collapsing, my head was heavy, and I was completely drained. Yet my determination to pass was stronger than my exhaustion. I stayed awake, studied, and pushed my limit. After my thesis defense, when the professor told me I had passed, I packed my laptop and materials, but the headache and body pain hit me hard. On my way home, I almost couldn’t bear the pain. That exhaustion lasted more than two weeks, with headaches, nausea, and fever-like symptoms. For over a week, I did not want to open my computer. Even if one of classmate told me to check the exam result, I chose to watch Netflix and did nothing. My energy was completely drained.

For me, maintaining good health during my studies was not easy. I tried to eat more fruits and vegetables every day, though one thing I missed was eating fish. Cooked fish was rarely available at the supermarket, but whenever salmon appeared on the university restaurant menu, I made sure to grab that opportunity. Alongside this, I took vitamins and tried to protect myself by wearing a mask whenever I traveled by bus or train.

Despite these efforts, I often pushed my body beyond its limits, working late into the night, sleeping very little, and feeling exhausted. At times, the lack of rest led to headaches, fatigue, and even illness. Still, my determination to graduate on time kept me going. Looking back, I realize that while discipline and focus are essential, taking care of your health is equally important.

9. Consistency

I often felt tired and exhausted, but I never gave up. Staying consistent was tough because it meant following my schedule strictly, even when I didn’t feel like it. Consistency ensures steady progress in every task, no matter how difficult it may be. For example, when preparing for exams, I started studying one month in advance. Each day I reviewed materials, because missing even a single day could set me back and risk failure. By studying daily, I built confidence and reduced stress before the exam. Consistency is about showing up every day, making small steps forward, and refusing to let challenges stop you. Over time, those small steps add up to big achievements, and that is how I managed to graduate on time.

Graduating on time is challenging, but it is possible. With discipline, focus, and the right priorities, you can overcome obstacles and achieve your goal. Remember: all your sacrifices will wort it.

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti

After 2 Years of Stepping Down, Where is Ichikraft Now?

About two years ago, I made the decision that the Ichikraft Etsy shop closed temporarily. However, even until this day, I am still with the same commitment; my Ichikraft shop on Etsy will be frozen for some time. Therefore, what is the reason behind this decision that I made and why?

Today, I just wrote an announcement on Ichikraft Etsy shop that my shop will be frozen for some time because I have been busy with my study preparation. It means the main reason why I am unable to open and take orders is that I can not handle orders from customers (if suddenly someone buys my product) while I am preparing myself for my further education. Furthermore, I have mountain house chores daily and family business. In another word, my study preparation alone is a daunting task, along with housework and family matters, unfortunately, I must choose which one I need to focus on, and I have to get my head down for it.

It is not easy to cut down my activity in this particular work since I love designing handmade flowers and cat collars. Because this is something that I enjoy even though it earns small money. However, since the beginning, I know what I have been doing and what the next step that I need to take on. Therefore, this decision is not in rush or in one slide as I have made this plan since 2018 or after I finished my program at Curtin University. I have always planned my life further since many years ago. For some people, this is crazy because sometimes I make a plan for the next five years and what I want to achieve during those years.

I started to make cat collars in 2016. Afterward, for a year I practiced every day until I found my cat's collar masterpiece design. Then, in 2017, I wanted to continue my passion for handmade flowers that have begun in 2008. However, because I moved from one city to another and eventually relocated abroad, I put back this handicraft work. In short words, I have a long story on this certain job. While practicing both on cat collars and handmade flowers, I tried to sell my work on an online platform and it was not Etsy. Moreover, I rented a tiny space in a particular shop in a mall. However, despite all efforts that I made, there was nothing good happened as that certain shop in the mall did not allow me to put my brand and logo, in this case, ICHIKRAFT. The shop was not given me permission to put the ICHIKRAFT contact number, and e-mail address. Basically, they just tried to prevent the customers directly contact us. As the consequence, customers would not able to recognize ICHIKRAFT as a customized unique product. As part of marketing's work to make potential customers interesting in my products, the shop's policy just dragged down my ICHIKRAFT. After 3 months I quit because the rent was pricy, meanwhile, I did not make any return. On the other hand, the online platform that I joined, was not suitable for Ichikraft business at all. In the end, I left the platform for good.

During my journey with Ichikraft, I started to join online courses in 2016. In general, besides working on handicrafts, I am studying as well. Day by day my schedule has become tight and I put study over my Ichikraft. The reason why I enrolled in some courses was that I will come back to school. Therefore, in order to make me ready, I joined courses first to familiarize myself with the academic schedule and environment. In 2016, I hadn't decided where I would ahead to. Just after finishing my program at Curtin Unversity in 2018, I was able to decide where I wanted to continue my study. Since then I walk step by step to reach the goal that has been planned. The plan was to keep my handicraft work until 2019, then in 2020, I must prepare myself for further preparation as I chose to study in another country. Because of this, in 2020, I closed my Etsy shop for a while.

If you are following Ichikraft you easily notice that I made an announcement in early 2020 that ICHIKRAFT on Etsy closed temporarily due to the COVID-19 situation. An unexpected event like the Coronavirus crisis was also another reason why I must step down from my business. The impact of this particular situation was an increase in shipping costs. As compared to before COVID-19 struck our world, I charged the customer SGD 12.50 by using a registered post. But after that, the registered post becomes SGD 22.00 to SGD 25.00. Wow, it sounds crazy, right? You can imagine, the least price of ICHIKRAFT's product was about SGD 17.00, supplementary along with shipping cost, it's too much for my customer. Meanwhile, I do not offer another option for the shipment because first, I want to protect the package as mostly our customers are from abroad. Second, I want to protect both our customers and us as well as both of us being able to track the package. With this method, I hope ICHIKRAFT gains the trust from our buyers. However, indeed, there were still unprecedented events that occurred, for instance, the buyer provided us an incorrect address, or the buyer moved to another address. As result, the package didn't arrive at their doorstep despite the best delivery service we provide. So, in a nutshell, the double shipping cost since the coronavirus situation is partly the reason why I decided to step down from this work.

I wish I have a partner in the ICHIKRAFT business so that I am able to keep my Ichikraft business open. Unfortunately, I do not have one. Sometimes, I imagine that a friend or a relative could support this small business. For instance, when ICHIKRAFT gets an order, this friend or a relative could work on the order and make a shipment while I am busy with my study preparation. To admit it, this is a good idea to keep ICHIKRAFT running. Sadly, some people think that creating ICHIKRAFT's products is challenging. Even before trying to make it, one of my friends say she could not do it although with a very simple design. Eventually, maybe someday I have to let ICHIKRAFT go.

Nowadays, I am still working on my study preparation and it is a daunting task. Moreover, it drains my energy a lot. What I need right now is to sharpen my mind on this task as I have put my faith in education. Therefore, I haven't decided on the ICHIKRAFT future. Furthermore, I have a family business that I need to settle down. There is a mountain of work that I have to do even in the upcoming year. However, the good news is that Ichikraft keeps the project goes where we assist some villager children in Indonesia. Hopefully, you support this Ichikraft project!👍

Thank you to my dearest customers who have always supported us. We appreciate your kindness. Ichikraft wishes the best for all of you!🙏

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission

Rising From The Ashes: Quiet and Outdated Girl Yet Popular and Become a Role Model

Talking about a popular or famous girl alone, in general, describes someone who is good-looking and fashionable. Whereas to be a good example for others will requisite some sort of achievement. Therefore, I want to share my story today about how someone like me who was out of a skirt from fashion was able to gain fame in school and community. I hope some people out there who do not have enough confidence in what they are capable of could stand up, keep going on their dream and work on them despite where we come from or obstacles because our future is not determined by what we are today. 👊

Many people said I had no friends, no boyfriend, a quiet and shy girl who had never blended with others yet in reality, it was conversely. The reason why they made an assumption was that simply those people were not in my circle and had never engaged in any of my activities. Although they were family members or claimed my relatives, considering the distance of their houses only from 1 KM up to 2 KM, they rarely came to my father's house even during the festive season. If it was not for my father's sake, I would rather visit my friends than pleased those people. Keeping my relationship with them wasn't worth it because the ones who supported and lent me hands were my friends and their family member. Take one example, my friend in my third year of the secondary school gave me a picture of which city I could go to study in; after graduated from high school while many family or relatives objected to my father's decision to send me to university in the famous city in education, I went to my destination with friends and searched for university information with them. Moreover, my friend's family member helped me to settle down in the unfamiliar city. In a sort word, even though we had the same blood in our bodies, the fact is that those were only a bunch of stranger people. Another reason was that I spent most of the day in school, in school clubs, joined school activities, studied with schoolmates after school, engage in community activities, and worked to earn some money to support my school and personal necessities. Because of those scramble schedules, you could say my life wasn't fun at all; my day wasn't a typical day, and my life wasn't like regular preteens or teenagers either. Unlike other preteens or teenagers who had always congregated without purpose as mostly villager children drop out (mainly only hold primary school certificates) and absolutely did nothing for the entire day; they had plenty of time to poke around. Some others may be students too, however, they were not interested in school things and chose to hang out without a positive aim. In another word, most of my friends were schoolmates who were from another village and friends from work. As I managed to get into the best school in the village and kept continuing my study I went further and farther while many children in my community grew and stayed in the same place, interacting with the same people. My interest, my social life, my mindset, my goal, my habits, et cetera, all of them made me different from others. Thus, a high wall and barrier had been created by those things and they were not able to reach my world. My big dream led me into a certain world.

It was a hard time when my father lost his decent job because at the time I must to adapt to a new environment in secondary school and had no idea who was my new friends. My appearance was less and less flattering and easily noticed that I came from a low-income family; had a low-quality uniform, and carried a regular school bag and shoes that were sold in any shop in the market. Moreover, at home, my outfit was horrible because I had never renewed my clothes since my father lost everything. Furthermore, my skin got darker each day and dull as in my first year of secondary school I also collected grass in the field nearby to feed my father's goats without proper protection from the soaring sun and had never taken care of my skin, face, and hair properly as I only afforded a cheaper body lotion and put the lowest price of powder on my face. To hold a pretty title, a girl in my hometown had to have black shiny hair with fair skin, be taller, and be fashionable from toe to hair which I was not in any of those possessions because I was like a walking skull, too skinny, my hair color wasn't black, and I did not grow tall either. I mentioned in another article, that in Secondary school where mostly my primary school girlfriends grew taller and good-looking girls, I was just a skinny little girl with dull skin. At this point, I was supposed to be an easy target for bullying at school and community. But, on the contrary, I became a well-known and respected student at school. On top of that, I was a role model in the community where my father's house had stood. Because of this reason, my name preceded me. How I managed to gain it, well, the answer is advancements! It was not easy but it was worth it to fight for!👍

Despite all the difficulties that I had to face, I decided to embrace and endure them in order to help my father to get back his dignity. I might mention before that my father got humiliation by his own colleagues. They did everything including bribing the judge, the investigator, and the police, disappearing the evidence, bringing fake witnesses, and the ultimate thing was threatening his family life in this case my future. The only reason why my father dropped the case after a year worked hard on it was because of this bunch of cowardly people used me as a shield. If you do not believe that evil does exist, for now, you must rethink what you thought as evil walks among us and they are human like us. They set up my father in order to kick my father permanently from not only his position but crushed him until no hope. Because of this reason, I set a high dream to shut them up. Therefore, instead of feeling ashamed as our lives turned upside down, I endeavoured to reach my goal. My goal was clear and I knew what I had to do. Determination with the massive effort led me to become a bold girl, at least that was what I had believed for years.

Looking back in my first year of secondary school, for weeks, someone in my class had always made fun of me for instance saying unpleasant things. But, after the first quarter, he retreated as my performance in academics surged rapidly and got acknowledgment from teachers in the school and many admired me. As a result, I had been trusted to correct my classmates' regular exams in one particular subject. The teacher delegated this work to me, yeah I was like a teacher's assistant.😉 Furthermore, I had been pointed to becoming the class's finance including the secretary. Basically, each class had the president of the class, vice president, secretary, and finance. Those positions had a distinct duty. My duty as finance was that anything related to money was my job to manage. However, I do not recall why my job in the first year of secondary school doubles as secretary of the class as well.🤔 If one of the teachers did not come because of family or other reasons, my duty was to lead my classmates to write resumes from the textbooks or it could be an assignment. So, I stood in front of the class and wrote on the blackboard with white chalk to guide my classmates, yeah, particularly like a teacher. Although without a teacher in the class, my class was still quiet and behaved. As far as I remember, my class became a good example for other classes. I had kept my finance or secretary of the class until my third year in secondary school in spite of my academics falling down in the second year. One event that caught many students was that my mark on another particular subject in the second year outraced the smartest students in school. Therefore, it kept me on the line as one of the respected students and got acknowledgment from students that came from the upper class in the community. From there I made friends with some of them. The bottom line of this story is that, instead of feeling down and pulling myself from society, I was able to stand out among the crowd and tried my best I can do whether in academics or outside academics. What does it mean outside academics? There were a bunch of school activities that could expose our talent and capability, and the important thing was to find new friends. Take examples: I took a challenging performance as nobody did not have the courage to try, or it could be in art and music; at least I can sing and draw. Unfortunately, the secondary school did not have a choir club so I joined another performance in dance sport; joined force with students from different classes in the competition and we won the first prize! Besides exposing myself in the performance I was good at baking and handicrafts too. I do still remember one day in my second year of Secondary school, we had a baking assignment or project using cassava. While others including the smartest students made simple regular snacks that villagers made at home, I come up with the idea to create a cake with cassava flour made from scratch. My group member was thrilled because this task was successful. No one had made a fluffy cake by using cassava flour as one of the ingredients before. So, it was a huge accomplishment!🤗

What about my relationship and how did I manage to make a friend? I was not the kind of person who likes to please others in order to get close to people, even until these days. Indeed, for basic courtesy, whenever I met a new individual I greeted them. However, getting close to me was challenging especially for boys. The reason was that I was recognized as a smart girl surrounded by a number of friends (and they were loyal friends). Only the male students with certain levels (excellent in one or some subjects or any achievement) had the confidence to get close to me. In another word, average male students and non-students had never chanced into my circle since I had a penchant for studying and had spent most of my time in school; in high school, I was off for school at 6:15 am and got home around 4 pm (but in school clubs; I had gotten home at around 5:30 pm). As I mentioned earlier that I had gone further and farther as I kept continuing my school. I think because of this reason some people made an assumption that I was a girl who had no boyfriend and friends; in their view, I had always been at home and never seen me hanging out around. Thinking back about it, I was not interested in romance and preferred friends rather than having a boyfriend because the right friends would give me benefits such as information about universities, cities, living outside our region, and anything that I did not know about education fields. Once again, since my dream was big, I needed to collect information as much as I can to support my goal.

Indeed, considering that I was not a pretty and fashionable girl, getting friends was virtually impossible. But it was not my case, I had never offered others anything (I did not have money to buy snacks or gifts for my friends) yet they were willing to trust me and comfortable with me. I had a story when I was in high school, even though I talkless person yet recognized as a leader for small group students (students from the same village as me). One day the smartest student in high school approached me in an unfriendly manner when I went to the restroom. She asked me whether the total record of my academic report outpaced hers. Until today, I failed to figure out how I looked intimidating to others, and sometimes, for some, I was like their rival. On top of that, I became the center of attention in school; mostly knew me but I did not know them all. The question is what exactly did I do to gain relationships, and how did I have loyal friends, particularly someone like me famous in school? The answer is that "treat people like you want to be treated." Respecting others and never underestimating people; are those principles that I hold. Indeed, I was a quiet girl but that meant quiet was not shy. "Quiet" meant that I wasn't interested in other business; I did not like gossiping, bad mount others, busybody, drama queen, et cetera. I interacted with other students in school at first because of the same interests for instance martial art club, sports, floral surroundings, music, some subjects, handicrafts, and so on. Fortunately, I liked so many things so that made me a likable person. Sometimes, even the smartest students did not get respect like I was, or they were not popular enough because their behavior and manner were bad which made them hated by others, or some did not join any school performances or school club that could meet literally new people and extends the connection; to expose what we could do and show it. In high school, I managed to get involved in three major performances. yeah many of them (smartest students) stayed in their comfort zone as they had believed that none of those things mattered. Well, everyone has their own goal, right? What I did was had tried my best to reach my dream.

Besides the same interest to make a friend, it was easy to meet new friends in the workplace. Of course, because working in the same place, I became their friend despite our different goals. Some of my friends in the workforce range from 6 years old kids to young adults and mid-age adults. You bet, while working packaging snacks, we talked about customers' complaints, how to improve the snack taste to meet consumer desires, simulate the cost of the product so that the business kept running, the inflation that affected the cost of living and hit the business, and many adult issues. So, I was like in the economics class.😅 You guess why I chose to study economics.🤔😁Yeah, the business owner had always opened discussions daily with his employees in order to improve his business. Remembering those days, they were excellent villagers, they acted like the CEO'S company; their ideas, and solutions, managing unhappy customers, reputation, how competing and cooperative with rivals, and budgeting, were remarkable! You won't believe that my boss was a teenager; at 16 years old bought a house and opened a business. Even though the house was a 500 sqm bamboo house with a soil floor, he saved some money for years while working as a laborer after primary school to buy his own house. That is amazing, right? In addition, my adult friends were stretched by working at two different places. No wonder, I was well-known in the community since I was a hard-working girl and studied hard at school at the same time. For that reason, I became a role model for the young generation in the community. At this point, you bet, some children in the range age 5 to 8 years old followed me around when I was at home; asked me to teach them to wrap the gift, made handicrafts together, or just watched me draw. It was silly when someone asked them why they tagged along with me, their answer was that "she is our queen." I wonder what happened to them after I left my hometown to study. I heard some managed to study at a famous school on another island and got a good job, others? I do not know. Those days were amazing! The greatest of my joy is to share my spirit to keep studying at school and get degrees no matter what it takes even though tomorrow is doom day, I would keep working on my dream; that is my spirit. Yeah, many villager children in my hometown were talented and had huge potential. However, I could not do anything and was hopeless as I, myself, was struggling each day to survive. So, if you are following Ichikraft Give and Care articles and relate them to my stories you could easily notice my motive why I have tried to assist villager children even though only some of them. Today only some, but who knows when someday I hold the highest degree in education which lead me to an occupation with a great perk; my hands would reach a number of villager children. Crazy? Yeah, I have always had the craziest dream.

Meanwhile, in the community, I was active in particular interests and often did volunteer. Washing the community carpet was one of the tasks I did at the time, and when the community held an event for youth I participate in it as a host. Although at first, I did not have any experience, adults helped and taught me. My intention just wanted to help and be useful in the community where I lived. Occasionally when one of the residents held an event, without hesitation if I had time I assisted them; it could be serving food, helping cook et cetera. I mentioned in another article that I did a baking job to help one of my neighbors without payment. In return, I went home with 250 g- 300 g of cookies daily which was enough to make me happy because my brother loved cookies. In my mind, 300 g cookies would cost me IDR 25,000 which was almost the same as my total salary in a month because on average I earned IDR 28,000 for a month. In my calculation, helping this business was just worth it and I had never complained about anything.

You can say, my friends came from a wide range of ages with a range of interests; there were from my school and other schools, workplace, younger ages, the same age, young adults, adults, and even the elderly, whether they clever or average as long they had the same interests and even I made a friend with a disability girl; those were my friends' backgrounds. Despite my appearance, who care about it since many of my friends looked at me as someone who worked hard to achieve something, had never bothered others, and never looked down on somebody else. It just simply says that what I did to gain trust and respect was "treat people like we want to be treated." Indeed, I had experienced some unpleasant events, for instance, one of my friends avoided me because I was not fit anymore in her circle. Another event was on my first day in high school, I got rejected by a girl who looked fashionable. However, none of those mattered to me because I had believed only accomplishment would prove who we are and what we can do; whether in academics or outside academics. Appearance? It is just a matter of time to transform. Education will lead us to be decent people, right? Including improving our appearance. Never feel out of the blue if you get a rejection, just keep going and work on your dream. Even, recently, I got this kind of rejection to make a friend. This person sees me only as a housewife with a lower profession (making cat collars and handmade flowers) compared to her who holds a master's degree and professional work. My reaction was just to move on.😎

And of course, during those few years, there were still some people who were unhappy with me for some reason. Whatever their reason wasn't my issue. Being a well-known and respected person in school and the community would create jealousy in others. However, I just ignored it and kept going and showing what I was capable of. Because if I took their bait I might pull off myself from society, and as result, end up being bullied by others. This is the main reason why I wanted to share my story in this article. Although we live in the 21st century, either in a big city or a tiny village, bullying is everywhere, especially in school. So, if you are a bullied target, then stand up. Instead of taking the baits, you must figure out what best you can do; it could be in one of the school's subjects, physical activity (P.A), joining the club that you are interested in, or being active in the community where you live. Do not ever pull yourself from society and find friends through the same interests. If you do so, you will be able to achieve something, eventually, you might be able to be a well-known person in school and in your community like I was. So, do not easy to give up because this world is big and there are many things that we have to explore!👊🔥

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission

Christmas 2021: Creating Good Memories During Special Event

One of our presents for one of our neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

I wrote about the Chinese New Year 2022 not long ago, and today I would like to share what was look like Christmas 2021 with my neighbors as we have been busy so this article is kinda late. However, it was a beautiful moment for us since it could be our last Christmas in Singapore. So, I think marking unforgettable memories with my neighbors in this blog is a must-do.

One of cakes from one of my neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

As we have something to have to do for our future, my husband and I decided to move forward. Therefore, Christmas 2021 might be our last moment with our neighbors here to share happiness and spread kindness where we gave presents or cakes or cookies before a Christmas day. If you are following our story, I mentioned before in my article that I had been growing up in an environment where we had always shared good things with others. For me, personally, leaving good memories would be beautiful especially when we haven't settled in one place which means we have to move to another place. Finding a hundred enemies in one day is easy but we can not find a real good friend in a day. Sometimes I hate when I had found good new friends then I must leave again, again...start over my relationship in my new environment. Feeling sad as we might have become besties in the following years. However, I am glad and relieved because I left good memories for them and also for myself so that I can always remember that I had a good life and happy life while living surrounded by them.🤗

One of a cake packet for one of our neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Look at the first picture above, yes, it was one of Chrismast present for our neighbor's dog. Her dog is adorable and I couldn't resist giving a gift on a special day. We sent some cakes to our neighbors and also my good friend. For Christmas, usually, chocolate is the best choice, however, since one of my neighbors has given us an expensive Christmas cake, my husband wants to buy a good cake to pay back all the kindness and heart-warming from our neighbors. Furthermore, we might be not staying in this place anymore next year. Is this goodbye? This is some kind of feeling that I hate when I must move again and leave my good friends behind.😭

A Christmas packet & birthday gift from my sweet friend - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Despite our good intention, we did not have time and had been busy, as result, we got an ambush from the neighbors. Unlike the year before, Christmas 2021 was different as our neighbor came first before us. I was surprised! Another cookie and a gift arrived and it came from my friend who lives in another district. I was really happy not because of the cake or cookie and the gift but their heart toward me is warm. As I mentioned in my article before that exchanging foods to celebrate festive seasons is not a competition who are wealthier. This kind of tradition is like how to show our gratitude toward others. We have been busy with so many things in our daily life and so are our neighbors and friends. So the festive season is a good time to make a visit bring a cake or cookie and have a little chat. In my opinion, food is a comfortable thing that we can share with others especially if we cook it at home, it must be special. I hope someday if we decided to settle down in one specific place I can do cooking for our neighbor just like when I lived in my village where everyone had always shared with neighbors their home cook foods daily.

A Christmas present that I sent for one of my Japanese friends - Photographed by Ryo Rakusui

This is a memory that I want to create in every step of my life. Creating good memories wherever I stand and live, meeting new people, and making a friend. Christmas 2021 was something special as it might be the last time we shared a happy moment with our neighbors in Singapore. Feeling sad? Of course, however, I am relieved because we have created beautiful memories while we are still around.

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti and Ryo Rakusui
Do not copy this article without permission
Do not reuse these photographs anywhere else without permission

Raising From The Ashes III: New Year with Old Dream

Do you have a new dream in 2022 or something that you want to accomplish? Well, if you ask me, "I do!" However, my dream in 2022 is still my old dream, yeah, a new year with an old dream that has made me strong through the rough time. I have held this dream since I was in the fifth grade and I am still trying my best to get it no matter what happens even if tomorrow is a doomsday, I would still work on it.

Not a long ago, someone that I knew asked me, "why don't you just become a normal housewife, enjoy life, feel blessing every day, have kids that will make you happy." I have heard many kinds of comments, rude words, insulting words, et cetera a lot during my journey since I decided what I wanted to be in the future. It happens years and no one can break my dream, instead, I am used to taking those discouraging words to build a bridge and make a leader so that I am able to step higher and higher.

When I was in primary school, maybe first grade, third grade, or fourth grade (I do not remember the exact time), once, only once, my father said something to me. He told me this, "Study hard, get to the university, study marketing, hold a degree, and work in the marketing field." Believe me, I had no idea what "marketing" is. For me, it was the first time I heard that word, and I was completely clueless about marketing. However, I reply "YES" to respond my father wished. After that day, I forgot about our small conversation, especially after my father had to fight a case in the company where he worked. That time when my father lost his decent job, I was also lost my future; my future! How is something like that related to my future? It sounds intriguing, isn't it?

Talking about my dream, everyone, all children which were my friends had always said wanting to be a doctor or police officer when someone asked them what were their dream. However, I stayed still when someone questioned me what I wanted to be in the future, what was my dream. Why? It was too obvious because my future had been written since I was born I guess and I did not need to reply or explain it because people in my father's circle would understand. My father had always said again, and again when I was a little that I must study hard and stay in a good performance in academics so I would get a schoolship from the company. The company where my father dedicated his life offered scholarships for its employees' children who could stay in the at least top 10 in the class. exclusively, for those who were able to sit on the top 3 in the class, they would get higher appreciation. From high school until university, the company would give full scholarships. Moreover, after graduating from university and holding a degree with a good academic record, directly would be hired by the company with a great term. Therefore, I did not think to have a dream because my life was guaranteed by the company until I retired and my next generation. My father and I, both of us had believed and were confident in my ability, no doubt about it.

After I lost all my opportunities for my great future, I was helpless; I was just 9 years old girl. Someday one of my friends who was my senior gave advice. She said, "you will go to secondary school soon, now you are in fifth grade, time to think about your dream, decide what you want to be in the future." She said again, "Once you get into secondary school the teacher will ask you what is your dream and why you choose it." I could not sleep in peace since that day, I was trying hard to find my dream, my purpose in this life. I do not know why but I was a primary school student who was keen on news on TV. I watched it daily at 7 pm and 9 pm. I found out it was intriguing things, especially the economic news where our country succeeded to create a new variant of paddy that suited our climate and made farmers happy. That new creation affected farmers financially. As a result, the economy had run smoothly because life was easy. For example, in my hometown where many worked as farmers, they had a good time since their crops were enough to cover the cost of living. From there, I made my decision, what I wanted to be in the future. Despite a broken situation I encountered because of my father's case, I had tried my best to finish primary school and made a big decision where I wanted to work after school to rescue my school situation. You can read a related article about it here https://ichi-journey.blogspot.com/2021/08/how-education-can-lift-you-out-from.html You can say, to keep my dream alive it has always been rough and heavy until these days. However, for me, there is no time to give up.

My plan to get my dream was meticulous great each step. But something hit it again not long after graduating from university where I just started working. Less than a year I received a threatening message and a few months later I almost died because someone tried to eliminate me from the world. I was depressed, lost my job, lived in frugal life. Then in the same year, my father passed away. It was completely give me a massive hit. I could not even think of my dream anymore, everything just burnt into ashed and disappear into the air. Day after day I just tried to survive. For years I have tried to heal the wound in my heart, kept positive in mind, done something good in my life like help others, learned something new to keep me busy, and move forward with the hope that I will have another opportunity to accomplish my old dream; study Master, get Ph.D. and do research. It is not a piece of cake because I have to take care of my down syndrome brother as my father is no longer alive. Furthermore, I must think about my own family. After the tragic tragedy that happened in my life, all my plans reset from zero point. It sounds not good because I need to build up my plans from scratch again.

If you are following The Journey of Ichi's Family, I have written a series article with the title "Rising from The Ashes; you would get a hint why I can not just become a regular married woman. I have stood up for my future since 9 years old when my father lost everything. At 11 years old, while my friends were playing around, hanging around after school, I went to work until 9 to 10 PM and morning to night on Sunday and school holidays just to earn some little money to support my school and my own expenses. You could say I was 60% an independent girl at that time as I was able to provide my own matters, except for food I still ate at my father's house; other than foods, I am proud to say that I bought from my own money that I earned! To be honest, I wished I could just be a normal student girl but I couldn't. If I wanted to get a high education, I had to make a sacrifice which meant I needed to leave my fun time and drown myself in the workplace. Even after marriage, I am still different from most people where I come from where at home, I do writing, gardening, making handmade flowers & cat collars, taking some courses & a specific program, also have tried to have a small business. I have been questioned by some people about "what for" a married woman does many kinds of things, wants to study for a Master's and get a Ph.D; it is too many wishes considering that I am not in 20s anymore. Sometimes, we do not need to explain and that is what I have done because some people do not understand and are not able to reach what I am preparing and working for the best future, not only for me and my next generation but also for my brother's future. For me, getting a high education is a must-do, because from there I can resume my career ( a good one), work in the field that I have always wanted to, dedicated the time that I have left in the research so that I can help others. Yeah to be a researcher I must get Ph.D., isn't it? Moreover, by having stable finances, I will be able to send my brother to the best down syndrome school where he can live in peace and happily ever after with lots of friends, finding his purpose in this life with a good school program. To send him to this particular school needs an amount of money and is not cheap. Furthermore, assisting villager children monthly who want to stay in school would be easier if I have a good income. And all of these things are starting from the degree that I hold. You can say, that is my motivation why I am eager to study Master's and get a Ph.D. 🙂

It has been 15 years since I graduated from university and hold Bachelor's degree. For years, my dream has never changed and I am still insisting on my old dream since I was in fifth grade; getting high education and helping others. Every new year I have always kept my old dream alive no matter what happens. Indeed, it is not easy to climb this massive towering mountain, but the more challenging it is, the more persistent I am. Am I crazy? Yeah, maybe I am, like some people who marked me as a crazy village girl who wanted to study at university. But I succeeded in getting into university and got Bachelor's Degree in the past, right? Having a high dream is not crazy or living in an imaginary world if we work on it.

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission

Sharing Happiness Through Food to Build Up Relationship with Neighbor

Happy Lunar New Year 2022; Year of the Tiger - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

First of all, wishing you an awesome Lunar New Year; wishing you the best of luck, health, and career! I am excited to share my happiness at this special event where we spread our happiness by food. Like I have always done that we gave cake or cookies to our neighbors.

I have read and heard that some people have always said that living in Singapore is hard because the neighbors are individual people who won't talk to other neighbors especially foreigners and hard to get along with locals. However, I do not know how to put this, but we do not have that kinda experience. Since the first year we moved to Singapore, we have always met nice and kind neighbors who care about us regardless of race, language, and religion. How did it turn out like that, meanwhile others struggling to adapt? Blending with locals is the key, at least in my opinion. Knowing locals' culture, traditions, food, habit, environment et cetera, all those things are an important part in order to build the relationship with the neighbors. Therefore, we also feel happy to join this festive season, Chinese New Year since I come from mix culture as well.

Lots of orange during Chinese New Year at home - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Back then before I left my hometown to study, on some occasions, my father's house had always bustled with people. When my father was a successful career man, a week before the festive season, we cooked at least for 60 households. We sent complete meals for neighbors around, relatives, family, and close friends. Each house household received a packet meal that consist of white rice, chicken curry, fried noodles, stir-fried tempeh with tofu, potato, and crackers. This packet meal was enough to provide dinner in each household. So, yeah, we prepared food like we held a wedding party. Close friends and family would get an additional packet a day before the festive season day; it was a bottle of syrup, and cookies or cakes. Besides sending food before the festive season, the death celebration was also one of the special days where we cooked food for at least 60 people and sent them to our neighbors, family, and close friend. Not only that, every happiness we hold such as promotion, birthday, or get bonus annually; we had to share that happiness with others throughout foods or it could be helping others. You can say that it was the environment I had been grown up in. Even when my father lost his decent job and we reduced our habit to send a complete meal, he still shared with others by gardening. My neighbor could pick my father's flowers and sold them in the market. At this point, my father had never asked for every single cent; yes, my father's flower was free. Moreover, my neighbors were also free to get fruits or any edible leaves from my father's garden. Nowadays, my father is no longer alive, the only thing that I can do to keep him alive in my life is to do something that he had taught me; share and spread happiness to others, and be kind to others.

Love letters, lava cheese cake, and oranges - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

In this Lunar New Year 2022, the Year of the Tiger; we gave love letters snacks, lava cheese cake, and two oranges to our neighbors who live on the same floor. But of course, not every neighbor got our packet as we considered some reasons. We sent them last Sunday. Usually, we have sent this packet a week before the festive season, however, we have been busy recently, therefore, we are kinda little late. We bought this cookie and snack at the hypermarket nearby and it is a common snack during Chinese New Year. The price was affordable for us because some of the cookies and snacks are pricey. In general, I would like to buy kue baulu and pineapple tart for our neighbors, but, I think this year I chose distinct cake such as lava cheese cake and love letters. Yeah, I have believed that everyone has pineapple tarts so I gave lava cheese cake. I tried it before sending them and the taste is surprisingly good and we love it. Meanwhile, love letters, the taste is definitely crisp and nice too. In the past in my village, some villagers used to make love letters snacks at home for the festive season. Sometimes I helped them when I got spare time after school. So love letters snack has always reminded me of my hometown. I think many Chine New Year cookies, cakes, and snacks, are the same as in my village. Unfortunately, these special occasion snacks are hard to find these days in my hometown as the new generation wipe them out because they think these traditional cakes and cookies are outdated.

Despite the intention that we refuse to receive a packet, my neighbors were still sending some snacks and cookies even the expensive ones. Actually, we do not want people to pay back what we give to them. But we can not turn down our neighbors' feelings. And this is the thing why I decided to buy common cookies, cakes, or snacks, not the pricey ones because this is not a competition who is wealthier than others. I wish I could prepare food for our neighbors at home just like my father's tradition, however, I think I do not have soo much time to do it.

All those cookies and snacks are coming from our neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Maybe some people think that what I have done is just show off or want some payback. But something that they do not know is that I had been taught by my father to share our happiness and spread happiness whether with money (buy something) or not (gardening, sharing knowledge). Furthermore, I can see how nice and genuine my neighbors are. Yeah, I have not written about Christmas 2021 yet when my neighbors ambushed us. What does it mean? It means my neighbors knocked on our door first and gave us cakes before I made a move. It was a few days before Christmas which meant whether we sent Christmas cake or not, it did not matter to them. To be honest, at that time both of us, my husband and I, have been busy and we did not have time to think of Christmas cake to give to our neighbors at all. Like I mentioned before, our experiences are completely different from many foreigners who live in Singapore where some of them do not get along and know their own neighbors who live at least on the same floor or block. Live is lively and soo much easy if we can share our happiness and spread happiness; for me through food, gardening, and pet. Yeah, luckily I love flowers and plants, and also cats and dog (pet).

Happy Lunar New Year 2022 - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

One of my friends said, "I wanted to give you something, but you live abroad and are able to find anything there." Well, I did not give any response about it. Personally, giving something to others is about our gratitude and from our heart, not the value of a "thing" that we want to give it. Once again, this habit is not a competition who are wealthier than others. Believe me, if you set up your mindset that your friend and neighbors are your competitors; instead of building up the relationship, it drowns you into the deep of envy and jealosy. So, keep in mind be kind to others.

Chinese New Year is one of the best ways to strengthen our relationship with our neighbors by sharing happiness through food. We do not need to buy fancy "things" to show our best gratitude because it starts from our heart, not the price. Wishing you a very prosperous and fruitful Lunar New Year, wish the best for all of you.

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission
Do not reuse these photographed anywhere else without permission

Rising From The Ashes: I Had Never Traveled Anywhere Yet I Decided To Leave My Comfort Zone At 16

No doubt, if you have been told that 16 years old me who have never traveled in any cities would survive in an unfamiliar place, you would laugh. Yet, the reality was far above any people in my village imagined that I had the capability to decide my future. To achieve my dream, I have crucial point where I needed to surround by people who are on the same page as I am or at least people who have a dream and supportive environment. In this case, who were my friends had a crucial stage to determine my future. It means friends were the ones who gave me the courage to open my horizon to see the world.

It sounds strange and foolish for people who insulted me. I had a story; one day someone insulted me that I had no friends, a crazy village girl who live in imaginary worlds as I have a big dream to study at university and would help others. The reason why this person looks moron is that in the real-life, I managed to make a bold decision to study at university in a faraway city and settle down everything by myself. Indeed, I was not doing all those things by myself because I had friends who helped me out and ideas where nobody from my own family or relatives gave me their hands; they bullied and talked rudely to me instead. The ones who had believed in my dream were outsiders which meant people who were not have carried the same blood.

In sixth grade, it was supposed the time for my father to talk about what my education next should be, where I had to ahead, and prepare for my final exam in primary school. In contrast, no one reached me about how I felt at that time as I needed to face the final exam and enroll in secondary school. While other students had been busy preparing for the final exam by taking courses outside school, meanwhile me? I had no clue and completely did not know what to do as in general, my father would settle any family matters including my school matters. The reason why my father forgot or ignored my academic life was that I presumed he had to focus on his case and I completely understood my father's obstacles. Well, I had another parent that call "mother", isn't it? What can I say about her, she had no interest in academics at all. She wished I was just like common village girls or more likely just like her. A sort of story about this "mother" was that it was not my grandma's fault she drop out at fifth grade since it was her choice. Believe me, my grandma tried hard to take her back to school. And when she was a teenager my grandma sent her to a sewing course with the hope she would hold a certificate and had a skill. And again, she left it. By the end of the day, she ended up without any credentials and any skill certifications. Luckily my father married her, however, the great life she had suddenly disappeared as my father lost everything when I was 9 years old. Back to the topic, It was clear that I stood in my own way and had to make a decision. Seriously, 9 years old girl must make a decision for her future? It is surreal but that's what happened to me. Otherwise, my path would be the same as most villager children; I left school, got married at such young age to an uneducated person, and would stay in the same place forever, and the worst thing is that I would live in poverty. And I chose to refuse all those paths, I set my dream higher and fought for my future.

I graduated from primary school in a messy household situation. Not long after receiving my credential from primary school, in the early morning, I got dressed, grabbed my dull bag, and rode my bicycle ahead of secondary school that just only around 1,2 KM from my father's house to register. Around 200 m before reaching secondary school, I stopped at one of our relatives. I asked him about the process of registering at my destination secondary school. Well, in my village there were only two secondary schools, if one secondary school did not accept me then I went to another one; basically, I did not have much choice back then or it was far from what I saw; I hadn't gone anywhere. And because it was the first time I needed a favor from this relative to accompany me. I still remember until this day that his face was unpleasant and without a word, he just walked with me toward the school. Yeah, he could not reject my favor because my father would be disappointed in him. After arriving at secondary school, I saw my friends and they looked happy and fun. My friends came in a group without their parents as I recognized one of them was risen by a single father; in general, she was independent by settling down anything by herself. At this point, I opened my eyes and just said "I should have gone with my friends." Since that day, I treasured my friends than family or relatives as I knew someday I needed them and only friends who could watch my back. And I thought my friends were much more sincere than my family or relatives.

Incredibly, during my secondary school, I succeeded to made friends with distinct groups across classes. As I was good at my academics, I did not need to work hard to get close with other students since many students were more likely curious about me. Moreover, in my second year of secondary school, I often got in touch with the upper group of students. The upper group was a group of students whose parents had high status in the community based on their occupation; most business owners. However, it did not mean I only made friends with those upper groups, NO! At the same time, I had also treasured others too who came from distinct backgrounds. The unique thing was that each group did not get long, however, I was easy to engage with each one of those groups, and they did not bother at all if sometimes I spent time with another group. Despite the rough situation at home and a financial crisis that made me up and down drastically, I managed to get through the tumultuous time. Working after school, involved in school activities for instance camping, joined martial art, participated in a competition in sport, and in my third year of secondary school I often studied in a group with friends after school because I was unable to join courses outside my school. All those routines kept me busy every day for the whole year! And my relationship with my friends both in my workplace and school got stronger each day so that I did not have time to pity myself, be sad and cry, or feel unlucky in this world because I created my own world where I found purpose in it and happiness.

Furthermore, because of friends, I got a piece of crucial information when one of my friends talked about one of our seniors. She said that a senior studied at one of the famous private schools in our city province and managed to enroll at one of the best universities in the best city for study. "What an amazing story" that was my first impression. It was the first time I heard about a famous and the best city to study in our nation where standing one of the best universities. All of those stories came from my friend's mouth, not from our relative who worked as a teacher or relatives that claimed they were rich. Immediately, I decided to follow my senior step to get into this particular private school and stretch my dream ahead to the best city to study. That was my plan in my third year of secondary school. Although I had never visited our city province or any cities in our nation yet I had believed that I would get my dream by working on it.

My plan was absolutely clear, however, my father's partner had never supported my excellent plan. I felt discouraged as I tried my best to get enough grades to enroll in my destination high school in our city province, or the second option, and the third option. In spite of my hard work, I had to pull myself together up and no time to feel down. And Again, because I did not know what to do as my father's partner tried to pull me away from my dream; my friend saved me by giving me an option that I did not think about it at all. Yeah, one of my friends would go to a high school in our neighborhood. She and I had been friends since we were in primary school. On the day that we agreed, we and some others traveled to register to this particular high school that was about 20 minutes by local transportation. Actually, I just followed her as I had no idea where was the school. To be honest, I wasn't confident with the last choice. Why? Because I knew if I took this choice, my golden opportunity to get into my dream university in the famous city to study would be gone. But, I could not do anything. Sad, yes I was! My only aim that day was just to continue my study in high school and I would figure out how to get to that famous city to study later. Unfortunately, my friends got rejected by this high school, meanwhile, I got accepted. Since then, she and I had not been hanging out together as we were busy with our new life in high school. Yeah, I realized that friends, sometimes, come and go like a wave. I wish we had a mobile phone like this day so that we could still be in touch.

In a new environment in high school, luckily, I met new friends and we were so easy to get close. Like in secondary school, many students in high school respected me and were kind to me. My performance moved forward each quarter both in academics and school clubs. In my second year, I got an achievement in a prestigious school club; I had been sent to training in a camp with other students from another school that had been selected. For about 2 weeks I had been training furiously to prepare for a performance in a big event where our regent was there. Since then, I had been gaining confidence in what I was doing and walked with my head up. In addition, I was able to maintain my academic grades as well so that my reputation spread fast like cancer in school. Back then, there were many smarter students above me in high school, however, I looked like snap their stage especially after I broke the wall of a school rule. What was that? In my third year of high school, the school decided to put me in science class but I rejected it since I consider I would study the economic program in university so that I thought it would be better I was in economic and social class. Many students dreamt to enter science class, but me? I refused. The second rule that I broke was when our school conducted a school trip. My group member was female students, all of them and it was the issue. Again, I managed it as the group member wanted to tag along with me and they insisted; it was tension between the school trip committee and us. Despite the unpleasant event before the trip, during the school trip, my group stood out, our paper was great, and we had fun! And it all the important matters for us, we were able to make a good paper and enjoyed our time together. Another thing was that my confidence grew stronger where I was able to hold and play volleyball and basketball. As a result, my final sports exam in the third year of my high school result was sitting in second place, and that's amazing for me. Yeah, in order to prepare for the sports exam in my third year in high school, in my second year I joined the volleyball club because I knew that I was really bad at sports and I needed some improvement. Thanks to my seniors who gave me the courage and concern about my sports performance. They gave me a suggestion to join the volleyball club so that I would get a good result in sports exams. The only thing that I can say, my high school life was smooth sailing as I got the support that I needed from seniors and friends (both school friends and workplace). For me, I loved being at school because all people there had positive energy and supported each other. Everyone that I know at school, they were doing their best to get the best of their life in the future. You could say, my friends mostly were school friends which meant mostly students.

By engaging with some friends with different interests and backgrounds in school, I had learned many things. Although my high school was only a neighborhood school yet I felt glad because in this place I thrived and grew up. Many people surrounded me said that reading books could not earn money and school was useless. However, for me, I put my faith in school because only in this place I could build my confidence to reach my dream. For instance, in my first year of high school, I couldn't barely speak in the front audience when we conducted presentations in the class and I bet my teachers spotted my lack; you know, if we could not speak in front of others no matter how intelligent we are, our path would be hard so we need communication skill. In the second year and third year, my teachers kept shooting me with questions and it forced me to speak out what was in my mind. This regular interaction in the class made me learn to speak out loudly, think fast to answer, make improvements with the answer, and confidently head up without trembling. And this skill was useful when I was in university as I had to complete my assignment by conducting at least two presentations each week. Yeah, it led my reputation to surge rapidly because most students did not have the gut to debate with me in presentation. Thanks to my high school teacher that taught and trained me to speak in the front audience. Well by the end of the day, this skill met up with my job after graduating from university. In my point of view, in school, we are not only reading science, economics, learning art et cetera; here we build our character, mind, and behavior in order to get a promising future.

After 2 weeks of training in the camp that I mentioned in the paragraph above, my confidence was like a rocket. Almost every day I came up in front of the class to solve math or explain a topic that we learned. I tell you what, this is a funny thing as I was not keen on math; my grade had always been bad in Math. However, since my first year in high school, I had started to be more "like" this subject (Math) in spite of the fact that Math was not my kind of thing. Someone asked me, how did I do to "like" Math? I reckon the key was that time I had a friend who had always been eager to study as I was. We also worked on homework (Math and other assignments) even sometimes we argued with each other about the answer to our tasks. I liked students who were able to argue with me about the answers to our task rather than others who just agreed or followed. And because this student, triggered me to study harder than before to improve my grades. On top of that, as far as I can tell, my teacher Math in the second year was an amazing person; his personality was great as he had always tried to make Math much more like other subjects. In general, there were many factors in how I was able to step further.

In addition, because of the courageous environment, in my second year of high school, I made a decision to study abroad! No wonder my family and relative called me a crazy villager girl who lives in an imaginary world because for them it was impossible. How did I be able to decide on such a kind of impossible dream? The answer is because I engaged with some students with different interests and backgrounds as I mentioned above; my seniors, my friends, my teachers, all those people somehow helped me to open my door toward my future, be focused, and be less worried. One example is my senior; she lived not far from my father's house. In spite of the fact that this senior came from a poor family, yet she took a computer course in the third year of high school and went to study at a university that was far away from our hometown. What I thought was that if she could do it, so was I. Some of my other seniors also left the village and made adventures; many of them studied on another island and faraway city. Not only that, my secondary friend who told me an amazing story about our senior who studied in the best city for study; that friend, she had been set her foot in the faraway city from our village after graduating from secondary school. She had already studied in the city in order to open big opportunities in her life. Furthermore, I met my first foreign friend when I was in my third year; it was during the school trip. She came into my life and opened my horizon widely; our world is big.

Indeed, my father did not have money to send me abroad. But it did not mean I give up on my dream. First, I needed to get a Bachelor's degree in the best city to study as my plan in my third year of secondary school. In my third year of high school, I hoped that I would get into my dream university in the best city for study but I got rejected as I predicted. How hard I was to study, my opportunity to get into my dream university was very small because I was just a high school student in the village. Wisdom I had heard said, "by attending one of famous or popular or the best school in the city, it will open a big chance for us to get into another the best school." And based on my experiences, I agree with this wisdom. As I said, after graduating from secondary school, I could not do anything. Back to the topic, so it was a rushed time in my life after finishing the final exam in high school. I still remember that time in only a few clips, I embarked to my destination city to study with some friends. Even I did not have time to say goodbye to my other school friends. It was a quick move and no turnback! Most students would go with parents to accompany them to visit and made a register to university, but I settled down everything on my own. Of course not "on my own" because I had a senior from the same high school who helped me in an unfamiliar city when the first time I arrived. The next chapter was that I met many new friends and seniors in university that made my university life was great and unforgettable. Furthermore, I met locals who are becoming my new family in an unfamiliar city. What I can say, despite a mountain assignment and tasks, my university life was smooth sailing.🤩🤗

That is my story of how a village girl like me was able to decide to leave my hometown at 16 years old as consider I had never traveled to any cities in my nation. If anybody says that I do not have friends, a crazy villager girl who lives in the imaginary world, well...the reality is the opposite. Indeed, I do not have many friends, like hundreds or thousands or millions like on social media. But I have friends that one friend is worth hundreds of friends, and they are true friends.

I think some people could say such kinds of things because somehow I am the reflection of what they wish for. Yeah, many girls or boys in my hometown drop out and it was not because of poor parents but mostly thought school is not important, useless, and wasted money. However, after seeing my move, something like burnt their heads.

As far as I can see, besides the knowledge that I had learned, school is the place that allowed me to grow, thrive, and made me strong personally and mentally. As a result, I left my comfort zone after graduating from high school. If you ask me, "Did I feel scared or worried that time because I was just left with friends in an alien world?", my answer is that I was excited and could not wait for my new life in university.

So, for you who are born and grow up in a village or remote island, do not never feel down or feel unlucky about where you come from. The future is a mystery, what you have to do is to work on your dream!👊💪🚀

Read a related article about this topic on how cheaper labor like my father was able to send me to university, link here https://ichi-journey.blogspot.com/2021/10/how-cheaper-labor-is-able-to-send-child.html

Another related article on how education has the ability to lift up our life in the future, link here https://ichi-journey.blogspot.com/2021/08/how-education-can-lift-you-out-from.html

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Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
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