Not long ago someone asked, why I didn't reply to her message and assumed that I got mad. Back a few years ago, this person with his brother bothered me almost every day to get as much as information they needed and asked for help with their issues about university matters. After getting what they wanted gradually both of them just disregard me even I wasn't able to contact one of them when I needed hands. After some time, they showed up because one of them desperately asked for help to solve the crucial problem. Although we were disappointed with them, one more time we helped him. At first, I just thought they were busy with their life so I didn't pay any serious matters to it since they were my relative. However, my friend concern about those people on how they behave toward me, and my friend said, "You know what, they just want benefits, not a sincere relationship." Since that day I have started to open up my mind widely to see their acts carefully. First, they disrespected me, second is came to me only for benefits and wanted something, third is suddenly became friendly and cared for by using my brother. Well, they knew I love my brother, so by asking how's my brother doing, his school and hopefully, they would get my attention. But after years of observing their attitude and manner, I must decisive and make a bold decision. In another word, I don't want to associate with them anymore, no more help, no more information, no more a favor. Because of this, they said I am angry with them. I bet after I ignore them back, they would roll out a story to their entire family and friends that I treat them badly. Doesn't make an effort to plant a beautiful flower yet demand to cut splendid blossom in the garden?🤷♀️
Another case was far more amusing to pen down in this article. I had always treasured everyone who said that they were my friends or family. Because of this reason, I often checked them by sending messages. The answer that I got was this; "Who's this?" and it repeated in another month. It's too obvious that this person had never saved my number (my number hasn't changed) which meant I was not important. The interesting part was how she did remember me after did not able to identify me before. This person recalled me when she would get married. Of course, after getting a package that full of presents she disappeared. A few years later this person showed up again by alluring me about her daughter's birthday and hoped I would send a birthday package for her daughter. I just took no notice of it and the next happened was she developed a drama that I forgot an old friend. Another person acted the same thing, asked for a favor, got what she wanted, then disappeared. A few years later came to me asked for something again, and I ignored her back. What happened then, this person got angry and a year later begged for forgiveness. What I can say, I had had enough.
Life is beautiful when we choose positively and staying drama-free. The case that similar had often emerged for years and all of them had the same goal; they wanted benefits whether asked me about crucial information, goods or stuff, or even money.🤷♀️
The reason why I had always tried to be nice to people who disrespect and ignore me was that my father taught me to have always treated others gently. Therefore, I had been trapped with this mindset for so many years until 4 years ago my friend opened up my mind. Actually, there is nothing wrong with what my father wanted. He just made sure that I would become a kind person in the future. And I am glad about it. However, I think we do not need to waste our time just to bond with people who just want benefits from us. They do not deserve our attention. It would better to keep people who try and make an effort to keep us. By building a healthy relationship, we can grow a strong connection, and the most important thing is to hold hands together to support the dream we have.
We can't expect others to become friendly with us if we have never shown a good gesture. In my view, to build up relationships we need an effort to maintain time by time. In my experience, We just need to do the simple thing continuously. For example: during my time living in my village when there was no smartphone and internet, I wrote letters to my friends. After moving to another city and abundant sources I used to write an e-mail to my friend. Nowadays, I have internet and a smartphone, at least once a month check my friend by sending a message about how are they up to. On special occasions for instance birthday, Christmas, Chinese New Year, and Hari Raya, et cetera; I send a proper message not emoji. Another we can do is by sending a card, gifts, or a package. And do not think when I say gift, this gift or present must expensive. What the hell no! In my opinion, it would great if we create the gift by ourselves. In my case, I have always made handmade flowers for my friends it could be brooch or hair accessories. What about my male friend? At this point, I often send something for his children, it could be a children's book, stationery, et cetera. Just like that? YES! Sometimes we do not realize by doing a small thing could be valuable to someone. For example, people would absolutely delighted to receive birthday messages, Christmas cards, or presents at a special event especially when we make handmade gifts with our hands. That's my friends on how to decipher their feeling when getting my handmade brooch and hair accessories, they have always loved my work and appreciate how much time that I have to spend to make the present. Price is nothing compare to the warm heart that we offer to tie up the relationship.😊
Despite the event that I encountered, I have been met with kindness and carrying people wherever I go and stay. Sometimes a stranger at first but then becomes more like a new family to me. I do still remember when I decided to study at a university in a faraway city from my hometown. People around me mostly assumed that I would not survive since they thought I didn't have any friends and I had never traveled to any cities. In contrast, the achievement that I have made washing them away even further. Because in reality, I made a friend from overseas since I was in the third year of high school and made lots of friends during my university life even local people. I do not have any difficulties bonding with the people surrounding me. Like nowadays, many foreigners who live in Singapore have always said that it wasn't easy to close to their neighbors; most of them do not know their own neighbors. In contrast, I have made friends with my neighbors and have exchanged foods during festive seasons such as Chinese New Year, Christmas, and Hari Raya. By treating others nicely we will get good things in return that surrounded by good people who have always support us.
Life is beautiful if we spread kindness and happiness. Instead of making trouble, we can create the best world we live in by giving the best gratitude and gesture, also we have always grateful for our life. We should treat other people like the one we want to be treated. That's what I call a wonderful life.
Note:
- Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
- Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
- Do not copy this article without permission
- Do not reuse this photograph anywhere else without permission
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