The Journey of Ichi's Family

Hari Raya in Singapore: Maintain Relationship with Neighbor Through Food

Hari Raya in Singapore; my little gifts for my neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

When we move to another country and start to live with locals, the first question is how your relationship with neighbors? At least it is the question that I have received even before moving to Singapore. "How we can adapt" "how we can survive in an alien land" et cetera... We didn't know anyone in Singapore, it was completely strangers around us. However, we managed to make a new book and write a happy story about it!.✌😊 Knowing the people, culture, and tradition, it is my wonderful journey, including the Hari Raya celebration in Singapore.

Thousand layer cake from our neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

When I was 16 years old I moved to another province and live in an unfamiliar city to pursue my academics. Since that day, I have always learned how to adapt to a new environment, meeting new people, learn their culture et Cetera. It wasn't easy at first because the city where I completed my Bachelor's Degree was different where the place I came from, their people, behavior, culture, and tradition, language, and so are the foods. But I am proud of myself that I survived. In order to survive, I had to live like locals. And I am glad, because of my positive attitude, I have family friends there! Whenever I visited (before the Coronavirus situation) that city, we also made a visit to this special family.

A rainbow cake from our neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Talking about Hari Raya in Singapore, it is a Muslim celebration in Singapore after fasting a month! Many say it is Hari Raya Puasa, "puasa" means fasting. Or we can call it "New Year for Muslims." Last week, 13th May 2021 was Hari Raya Puasa. The interesting thing is how to celebrate this special occasion during the pandemic?

Fruity cake from our neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

If you are following The Journey of Ichi's Family, instantly you know our tradition with our neighbor. We do exchange foods/ snacks/ or another gift to celebrate 3 different festive seasons, there are Chinese New Year, Christmas, and Hari Raya. In general, I prepare 3 times gifts for my neighbor on each occasion. Basically, cookies or cake is a common gift and people would love it. However, it doesn't mean we can't give another present, for instance, fruit, tea or coffee, noodles, or handicraft. All those options are acceptable in our community. In another word, it is a proper gift.

My neighbor gave us custard puff - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Who would the first person start to give a gift? It doesn't matter, whether my neighbor first or I am first. I think a week before Hari Raya one of my neighbors knocked on our door. She sent us 3 distinctive cakes! Wow! 3 cakes! She said, "Happy New Year!" Of course, we received these cakes with happiness and we were thinking about how we would finish those special cakes because our big eater (my brother) couldn't go home this year.😅 A few days later, another neighbor appeared at the front door when we ate dinner. She brought a bottle of syrup, a cake, and macaron! I was surprised and a little bit worry because I didn't have anything at home to give her back. Well, no need to worry, after all, we are neighbors, when we want to give something to our neighbors, it means we just want to share and spread happiness and joy during a special occasion. That's what I call to maintain our relationship with neighbors through food. I had learned about it a long time ago when I lived in my hometown where exchange foods between neighbors were a common tradition to celebrate special occasions, regardless of race, religion, and language. The next day, another neighbor visited us and brought cakes for us. So, we had lots of cakes at home!😅😄

Mangoes, syrup, cake, and a macaron from our neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

2 days before Hari Raya, we went to the hypermarket nearby and found out if any ideas to make a gift for our neighbor who lives on the same floor. Why only on the same floor, what about another friend? Well, before the coronavirus year, we made a visit to our friend's flat who lives in another district. Nowadays, if we are able to send a cake then we send it, but if the situation quite hard, we just send a message. Why? Due to the COVID-19 situation, the government advises to stay home as much as possible since the case in community rises and among them is a new variant from India. To be honest, my husband and I go out only to buy groceries, and sometimes medicines. Back to the topic, so we decided to make a little gift; there was the apple, tea, and hair accessories & brooches that designed by me. Those hair accessories are headbands, hair claws, and also brooches. Additionally, we gave pork meat to one of my neighbors. That was our little gift for our neighbor.

Mocca cake from our neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

How we sent our gift during the pandemic since our government makes strict rules to control the spread in the community? Of course, we just hang it out at the door and sent a message; or we knock on their door, gave the gift, a few minutes of chat to ask how they do, then went home. That's is? Yes! We didn't enter their home, just enough on the front door, and practice safe distancing. I know, it looks awkward, but we want to play our part to keep our community (friend and family) safe and healthy. To win this battle we have to fight together, that's the spirit in Singapore.💪🙂

This was how Hari Raya in Singapore this year. We do not look at the background, we just want to spread happiness with others. Like another celebration, we exchange food/ cake/ snacks as a gift in order to make this special occasion more colorful; just beautiful like a rainbow!🌈 Moreover, by sharing foods we can maintain relationships with neighbors!🌞🥰

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission
Do not reuse these photographs anywhere else without permission

Simple Breakfast, yet Healthy

Simple and healthy breakfast - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

What your breakfast today? I would like to eat something simple, quick, and easy to prepare in the morning for our breakfast. Indeed, it is not something special, however, the breakfast menu is still important to start the day. So, what kind of simple and healthy breakfast that easy to prepare without consuming time because basically morning has always in a rush?

I have always mentioned my father because he taught me to eat and choose foods, gardening, drawing, et cetera. What he had believed was eating a half-cooked egg every morning was good for children because they would grow up healthy and become smart. I assumed he often read the news, books, and sharing knowledge with his collages in the office that improved his ability and intelligence including nutrients and vitamins in the food source. Whether a half-boiled egg is can increase intelligence in children or not, it is quite promising since we all know that egg has B vitamins, vitamin D, Omega, protein, et cetera. It is the fact about the egg that rich in nutrients.

I bet when I was a toddler, eating half-cooked eggs was my routine every morning. I didn't remember about it. 🤨 However, since I grew up I wanted to eat a cooked boiled egg because I found it just not right to eat a boiled egg that looked like mountain lava, eww😅🙄 Since I realized about "lava" I left a half-cooked boiled egg behind my life story. Whatever it was, as long I ate an egg for breakfast whether omelet or boiled egg, my father approved. It is my story about eating a boiled egg in the morning for a long, long time ago. My father was the one who educated me to eat well and healthy.

Breakfast or lunch? 😅🤨 Toasted white bread with tuna, mozzarella, and butter, an apple, and a glass of tea - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Making healthy breakfast is easy and do not consume our time in the kitchen. Sometimes I boil the egg at night so in the morning the egg is easy to eat. In general, while cooking for lunch box or bento, I boil the egg for our breakfast. Yes, the reason why I wake up early morning is to cook bento not prepare breakfast.😅 Why? Because breakfast in our home is simple, for instance, a boiled egg and banana, or when I buy Japanese sweet potato; we eat boiled sweet potato in the morning. Another menu is white bread with butter or any kind of cakes that I buy from a cakes shop or baked the bread with tuna or mackerel cans.🤗 That's it? YES! My favorite is to drink soya in the morning. Actually, I love cocoa drinks for my breakfast, but this product is not available in hypermarket nearby anymore. So, technically, there is no special preparation to make breakfast. I do remember when I worked a long time ago, I bought a slice of bread or bun while walked to the place where I waited for the bus. And definitely eating my breakfast while walking to the gate of my office.😅😐

We eat the same breakfast menu every day. I think there is a reason why I do not write breakfast recipes on Ichi's Fusion Recipes since the menu has always been the same every morning. Someone asked my husband, "every day eating eggs? you are not bored?" or why I have stock of eggs for at least a week. It is a good food source and can boost our energy in the morning, there is no word "bored." Of course, nowadays we choose low cholesterol eggs to maintain our health because we are not children anymore.

I think if my father still around, he would be very happy to see that I still hold this "tradition" to eat a boiled egg for breakfast which meant I learned from him how to eat well. I hope that I can pass down this family custom to my children someday when we have children. Simple breakfast, yet healthy and affordable. That what can I picture about the boiled eggs.

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission
Do not reuse this photograph anywhere else without permission

The Moral Behind "Choco Pie"

The Journey of Ichi's Family - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Looking at the choco pie pictured above, for many people, I think there is nothing special about it; it just a children's snack. However, for me, personally, it has touched my heart and I learned about morality, humanity, on how we suppose act toward others especially those who need our help.

My father had siblings, brothers, and sisters. Among them, only my father had a beautiful success in his career and built a happy family. It was the reason why his parent had been prised him a lot, especially his mother which meant my grandma. My father loved his sibling and everyone who needed help would run to my father especially when they needed money. Without hesitation, my father gave the money to them and had never asked to pay it back. What he believed was by helping his sibling, someday if his children (my brother and me) needed help, his sibling would help me too. Well, I think that a good thought on how family supports each other, right? I admired my father's intention.

There is not always a rainbow every day, sometimes a storm comes; it is how I pictured my father's situation. He lost his decent job and everything, he needed a hand who could hold it. But someone who gave it hand was a stranger who did not have any connection or relation to us. This stranger family gave me a school assistant every month since I was in the first year in secondary school until I graduated and hold Bachelor's degree. With this monthly assistant, my father could think and planned what he could do to survive without worry about how to pay my monthly school fee. And me, I started working at 11 years old and earn some money to buy anything I needed for school such as school shoes, a bag, stationery, books, et cetera. Even though someone helped us, but we still worked hard every day.

After my grandpa passed away, a year later my grandma died. This sad event occur when I was at secondary school. And the next thing that happened was my father's sister and her family had come to my father's house, once a year. They lived in the city on a different island, and what my father proud of her was this sister had a successful life. My father had always been happy every time this sister came and treated them like a noble and we were just servants.🙄

Someday when I raked my father's big yard I found an interesting red plastic. I picked it and I read it "Choco Pie." I knew by looking at that plastic that this snack was tasty and good because I saw remaining chocolate in the plastic. We villager children had never seen chocolate nor eat it. Like a lightning struck my head, instantly I remember something about this morning. After finished house chores and prepared breakfast, I went to the house front terrace. I saw my cousins in the yard and suddenly looked shocked when I showed up from nowhere and saw them. They hid one of their hands and left without saying anything to me, typically the cousins who did not have any interest in villager children like me. 🤷‍♀️ So, this was the snack that they hid this morning from me. Maybe they afraid that I would ask for their snacks. I assumed their mother told them to eat snacks secretly outside the house where my brother was not around, and I had been busy in the kitchen. Well, while I was busy doing house chores in the morning and prepared their breakfast, they ate snacks. What my concern was my brother, what if my brother saw them ate a snack and they did not share it with my brother? What a poor boy😢 My brother loved snacks, cookies, or crackers. He sometimes cried when really wanted something. He was a little boy at the time and he did not speak much. That what I was concern about this "Choco Pie" plastic I found in my father's yard.

Comparing those cousins with my friends, my friends had always been thought about others before them. If you read my article before about the Physalis story, my friends gave me 2 physalises that left in the bush. They let me and asked me to eat it and taste it even though they knew the fruit was only 2 left. At another time, when one of my friends had a cracker, this cracker would end up divided into 5 pieces, everyone ate it and just felt happy. Any kind of food in my friend's hands, without asked they would offer it to others. Thinking about those cousins' acted, what I learned was that we should think about others, and share happiness with others.

Many years later, this "Choco Pie" is just an ordinary snack to us that we could easily find it. In the past, I took a job volunteer by helping one of my father's neighbors to make cookies and cakes when the biggest celebration came. After school, I went to make cookies at my neighbor's house until late at night; usually 9 PM. I worked was not for money but for a plastic cookie that my neighbor gave me after helped her. She did not pay me but offer a plastic cookie instead. Every day I felt happy to do it because I could give this cookie to my brother at home when I came back from work. So, yes, remembering the day when I found "Choco Pie" plastic in my father's yard made me sad because they did not share it with my brother and hid it instead.

Nowadays, I can buy any kind of snacks that my brother wants. We can also take him to the restaurant to eat something special like a Japanese restaurant. Sometimes I grab too many snacks & crackers for him, until he says, "too much."😂 What a funny thing!😅

The moral behind the "Choco Pie accident" is definitely something that I have always remembered. Instead of hiding our hands, we should use our hands to share with others. Sharing happiness will make our heart feels peace, isn't it? That is the reason why I like to give cakes or cookies to our neighbor for celebration. Before moving to Singapore, I would like to share the food that I cooked with our neighbor. That is how we suppose to live toward others by giving our gratitude.

If we have something today, it would better if we can share it with others. For instance, today we have a good life, sufficient food, a decent house, enough money, what we can do about it is grateful to our lives and help others. Why? Because we do not know how the future comes out, it is a mystery. What we have is today, so we should start to work on it today!👊🙂

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission
Do not reuse this photographed anywhere else without permission

Eating Fruit Daily Because We Need It

The Journey of Ichi's Family: fruit in our home - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Do you like to eat fruit every day? Do you eat fruit because following the crowd about healthy lifestyle campaigns or your body needs it? I have believed fruit is good for our health and could support our immune system. And I think many people try to have a healthy lifestyle by eating fruit so that their body will gain the benefits from it. However, in my view is that eating fruit daily because we need it not because of lifestyle.

Since I was a child, I used to eat fruit that we could easily pick from my father's garden. My father grew many fruit trees in his yards and garden. His house was surrounded by plants, flowers, fruit trees, and commercial goods for instance cassava. We also sold our garden harvests such as jack fruit and pineapple. When the mango season came, we ate mango every day even shared it with neighbors and family because we had lots of mangoes! Sometimes, our pineapple bloomed and we could not eat them all, then we sold them. Yes, our neighbor used to make pineapple jam for pineapple tart. Sometimes bananas, starfruit, guava, rambutan, also bloomed at the same time which meant we had any kind of fruit at home without spending money to buy them all. Papaya plant was easier to grow even we did not need to grow and maintain them, they would grow everywhere in my father yards. Our papaya plant was really amazing when we could pick papaya flower and leaf, young papaya for our dishes, but when it riped we could eat as dessert. Another fruit was soursop. Talking about soursop, it unwanted fruit because no one in the household ate this. This fruit just popped out in my father's yard, without any special maintenance this fruit grew well and produce plenty of fruit! As result, it just me who loved sour fruit including soursop, then the fruit just fell down every day. Some neighbor who wanted it just grabbed it! We were never sort of fruit even if my father did not have money. We had abundant fruit! Thanks to my father who loved gardening!

Besides learning to eat fruit every day at home, at the same time, I also learned what kind of vitamins in fruits that I ate at school. I started collecting my knowledge about fruit, vegetable, and vitamins, since I was at an elementary school, in the second, third, or fourth grade. I read the textbook, I also listened to what my teacher told us in the class. No wonder I knew that papaya is a source of vitamin A and if someone has constipation just eat papaya then the problem will solve. Mango, guava, pineapple, all of them are vitamin C sources which means can boost our immunity. Based on their color, I could easily identify what vitamin inside the fruit that I eat. For example, if the color is yellow then it is the source of vitamin C, red color is the source of vitamin A; it was the way how my elementary teacher taught the students about fruit and vitamin by using color to make the students easily understand and so is about vegetable! I really remember that about it until today.

What I can learn from my life in the past is our body needs vitamin, so basically, eating fruit routine is because we need it and not following the campaigns about healthy lifestyle. My teacher in secondary school and the senior school asked the students in front of the class, "Do you study every day because of your duty as a student or because you need to study every day for your future?" Most of my friends said, "I study every day because it is our duty as a student." But when it came to me here was my answer, "I study every day because I need it. I have a dream, without studying it is impossible to catch my dream and have a better life in the future." And my teachers, both from secondary school and senior school told us that we need to study every day because we need it and not because of our duty as students. The word "duty" and "need", well it is hard to make difference and looks similar. However, those words completely have different meanings. "Need" means we do it without any forces and it is under full awareness. Meanwhile, "duty" means under circumstances that we have to obey. No one asked me to study every day for at least 2 hours, no one not even my father. Whenever I had an opportunity to study, I just grabbed my book and started read it. On the bus when went and came back from school, when waited for the bus, in the street while walking home from school, at home while eating dinner or late lunch; everywhere I studied because needed it. Sort of story, I have applied the word "need" when consuming my fruit. I eat fruit every day because my body needs it. It is not because a part of a healthy lifestyle like many people say. If I say that eating fruit daily is a part of my healthy lifestyle, I feel just not right, even something forcing me to do it. And because my body needs fruit, I buy a bunch of fruit every week. Yes, after the coronavirus situation, I buy our fruit once a week, and within 5 days all the fruit finishes; like the picture above, there is our fruit for 5-6 days for 2 people at home.

The Journey of Ichi's Family: this is our fruit for a week! - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

So, what the benefits that our body gain if we eat fruit daily? I often buy orange, apple, and mango when the mango season comes. Sometimes I choose orange, pear, and dragon fruit. Or it could be orange, grape, and any other fruit such as watermelon, longan, et cetera. I would love to buy bananas, however, the banana that we want is not always on the market. Orange, mango, and dragon fruit, they are can strengthen our immune system since all of them are vitamin C sources. Dragon fruit can help us to lower blood sugar, orange can protect our cells from damage and heals the wound. How about the pear? Pear can help us to lower the risk of diabetes and anti-inflammatory. An amazing thing is about mango; it has antioxidants and so is dragon fruit. The bottom line is the fruit has lots of vitamins and nutrients in it to protect our body.

For me, personally, since I have consumed fruit routine, I rarely catch colds and flu. What I can remember is that I get colds or flu sometimes caught after traveling. Usually, when we travel I could not control what I eat since the foods buy from the food stall or restaurant. In general, I can not maintenance to eat fruit daily, why? Traveling has always been in rush; going here, visit there, et cetera, that explains why I do not like traveling.🤷‍♀️😅

That's what I think about eating fruit every day. We eat fruit because our bodies need it. When we realized that how much we need vitamins and nutrients for our health, then we must consume foods and fruits to protect our healthiness without any force or just lifestyle.😊

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission
Do not reuse this photograph anywhere else without permission

Physalis's Story: From Snake Food to Elegant and Expensive One!

Physalis that I bought from Hypermarket - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

I believe that some of you know this kind of fruit and might be nothing special about it. However, there is intriguing about Physalis story from my experiences! It is an unusual one and might give you more complicated to think what exactly this fruit. Here is my story!

Someday my friends asked me to come with them to find a snake food that they called "ciplu-an." They said it was a small beautiful yellow fruit that we could eat with a sweet taste. I was confused why on hell I had to find this kind of fruit that I associated "danger." Hearing the word "snake" made me nervous, but my friends convinced me, "if the snake appears, we will run!" they said it with a teasing smile. Actually, it was a devil smile because it means if I did not go with them, it means I was not fun. We grabbed our bike and wandering around the crop field under the scorching sun. One of my friends said, "that's it! That the place when I saw lots of "ciplu-an." A few minutes later we just left our bike on the side of field streets and walked towards the bush that had no pathway and descended. "Where is it?" I said. One of my friends said, "Geez, I think they are gone, maybe the snake ate all of it." She grimaced and laughed. "When you saw lots of this fruit here?" I said. "Maybe a few days ago, or..a week ago..." she said. My heart went mad, but she said, "there are some of them, eat it, eat it!" another friend said. She said some, but actually, the fruit that left only 2!😅 And they gave me that fruit and let me eat and try the taste. Then we came back home safely without any snakes chased us, thank goodness! So, basically, my friends just wanted to have fun with me by biking and wandering around.🙄😂😁 The next day we played again and I did not remember that I went mad at them yesterday. 😅😉 I was in grade 3 at the time. And it was a wonderful memory playing with my best friends by wandering around the crop fields, garden, and learning to make our own toy or doll. After graduated from elementary school, one by one they had gone and left me behind, alone in the school. Where were they? If you read my article before about child marriages, that what happened to my best friends. Everything was not the same when we were at elementary school. Suddenly, our path just made us separated. But, I knew in deep their heart they wanted to go to school.

The first time I heard the fruit called "ciplu-an" was when my friends asked me to go with them to find that snake food. I hadn't known about this fruit before. Since that day, sometimes my friends and I went to the wild field or crop field to find this fruit. Until someday, when they were gone, I didn't do this activity anymore, because I started working in the first year of my secondary school and busy studied, while my best friends married. The fun day ended up without a goodbye.

Many years later after moved to Singapore, I felt a little nervous when saw Physalis at the hypermarket. Not only because the price is expensive, but suddenly I felt upset because it reminds me of my best friends who went and left me without saying "goodbye." What I can say about Physalis is this fruit extinct in my hometown or I can say in Indonesia. It is hard to find wild "ciplu-an" in the wild fields and crop fields. The new generation doesn't know this beautiful fruit anymore. They are too busy taking selfies and update their social media. None of them grab the bike and wandering around the village just to find unknown fruit, plants, or flower. These are the differences between my time and the new generation in my hometown.

The price of Physalis in Singapore is about $2,95 a pack. It is a small pack containing some physalis, maybe a handful. This particular fruit is from Columbia, no wonder the price is priceless since it is an imported product. However, 1 pack of apples that I have always bought is $3++ with 7 or 6 pieces. In my view, this price is still much more expensive than other fruits.

If my friends said Physalis was wild fruit and snake food, here in Singapore it is an elegant fruit because some bakery uses it as cake decoration. When I saw a Physalis stand up on the expensive cake, I just smile and said, "now it becomes elegant fruit!."😊👍 A wild fruit that grew on the wild fields and crop fields and we called "ciplu-an" is priceless in another county. I wish I could show it to my best friends, but I do not know where are they since they got married and moved to another place.😐

It was 3 weeks ago I bought Physalis. This fruit hasn't come out of my mind when writing down my shopping list every week. I consider buying apples, pear, oranges, or any other fruit rather than Physalis. If I buy Physalis, 1 pack is just enough for dinner for 2. I would like to choose to buy a pack of apples (1 pack is 6-7 apples) because it is enough for 6 times our dinners. I bought this particular fruit just wanted to try it once again after soo many years had forgotten this fruit. I almost forgot how it tastes since my best friends left me and I moved to the city that far away from my hometown to study.

About the truth that Physalis is snake's food, to be honest, I do not know, I unsure about it; maybe yes, or no. But, I have strongly believed that maybe it is true that we could find snakes around Physalis bush in the wild field since it is a good spot to hide. However, some birds might eat this fruit in the wild. At the time, in my village, lots of birds around and made nests. But, whatever the truth, I should have thanked my best friends that they introduced me to Physalis at the time. They were good kids and curious about everything around them, especially plants, and flowers. I bet if they studied, they could become a doctor or professor who researches nature.

I think Physalis has its own beautiful story about us when we lived in the tiny village. Who's know, I found this fruit in Singapore. Since moved to Singapore I have discovered lots of things that I found to disappear in my hometown but exist in Singapore. For example Double petals Jasmine flower, love letter (traditional Chinese New Year snack in Singapore, bahulu (traditional Chinese New Year cake in Singapore), rainbow cake, et cetera. Nowadays it hard to find those things in my hometown. In the past, people in the village that I come from were proud of their culture and also nature as well. Knowing that Physalis exists and I can found it in Singapore is actually makes me happy. Moreover, I learn that we have to respect nature more.

Thank you for reading my article, new recipe on my Ichi's Fusion Recipes blog, here is the link https://ichi-recipes.blogspot.com/2021/03/stir-fried-tiger-prawn-with-sukiyaki.html

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission
Do not use this photograph anywhere else without permission

Living in Singapore: The Relationship between Locals and Us

A flower basket, mangoes, and a thin biscuit from my local friend who lives in another district - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Moving and living in Singapore? I believe many people around you will ask the same question, what is look like living in one of the expensive cities in the world and how the relationship with your neighbor? I think all my Indonesian friends asked me the same question.

Maybe you wonder why people keep asking their friends or family who move to Singapore how the neighbor relationships. As many of you knows that Singapore is a bustling and busy city. You can see how fast people walk in the MRT station every day, everyone looks in rush. Every household closes their door because they are busy with soo many things every day. However, we can see and feel a warm community where we can build our relationship with locals or our neighbors in the place where we live in.

Sending all kueh bahulu (kueh bahulu is a traditional Singapore cake to celebrate Lunar New Year) and pineapple tart to our local's neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Before moved to Singapore, we lived in Jakarta-Indonesia. I thought living in Singapore would encounter the same experiences just like what we had in Jakarta, an individual neighbor which means we stay close but we do not know who exactly our neighbor is. We had been worrying about all those things until one day we moved and stayed among locals (Singaporeans). What I have experienced is completely different from what I thought before. We are amazed by a local's warmth, I call it the true heart of Singapore.

We sent this cake to our local friend - Photographed by Aunty V

First-year after moved I had always closed our door. I also used to buy our groceries in hypermarket only. I hadn't ever interacted with our neighbor who lived on the same floor. Our neighbors did the same thing; closing their door all day long. Until someday Chinese New Year came and it was my first Lunar New Year in Singapore. I was excited because lots of flowers and plants were sold. We walked around the wet market nearby our block and I bought yellow Chrysanthemum and Kalanchoe. Since that day I collected one by one flower and did gardening in our corridor. I bought Flamingo flower, Begonias, mint; I planted Portulaca, Zinnia, Marigold, and many others. Someday one of our neighbors stopped by and we talked about flowers and she offered me to exchange Portulaca flowers. That was the first time I made a friend. Day by day, we knew all of our neighbors who lived on the same floor. Moreover, we also knew and made friends with other neighbors who lived in another building and another floor. We often talked outside just for 1 minute or 2 minutes whenever we met, sometimes in the void deck, lift, the wet market, or when we just sit down on the bench in the park. When I remember about that time, the first year came to Singapore, how selfish I was as a new neighbor and foreigner. I should have talked to my neighbor first and not waiting.

Christmas cake from our local neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

After the first year, we often joined Community Club events such as the Mooncake festival, Harmony Day, and Movie Night. We also did exchange cookies on Chinese New Year; even sometimes I received "ang pao" from my neighbor. Whenever I came back from Indonesia, I bought a bunch of snacks that I gave to them all. Sometimes I just simply share my Portulaca and gave it to my neighbor, or helping them watering their plants when they went overseas. One of our Malay neighbors also engaged us first then we become friends until this day, unfortunately, one of them passed away a few years ago. I also gave food to stray cats that lived around every day. Every day I walked around to feed the cats in our block. I had always carried cat food in my small bag. It was the first year that I learned about locals.

Christmas cake from one of our local neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

After a few years living in Singapore, until this day, we had moved to 3 different districts, and I am glad that everywhere we moved, we have made a new friend with our neighbors especially those who live on the same floor. We have continued to always give warmth relationship to our neighbors. Even I made a friend with a local who attended the same class which means staying in another district. Nowadays, I exchange cakes or cookies for 3 celebrations: Chinese New Year, Christmas, and Hari Raya. So, please, do not confuse if we celebrate 3 different celebrations every year. Regardless of race, language, and religion, we just love to spread happiness and peace to all. Sometimes my neighbor just comes by and gives us cakes even my cat, Ichi, received toys from our local's friends. So, basically, we do not need to wait until celebration day, if we want to give something to our neighbor or local friends, just send it for example sending birthday gift or cake to our local friend. Or like today, my local friend who lives in another district sent me a flower basket, 2 mangoes, and a thin cookie (the first picture above). In the past, we had a neighbor who had given me vegetables or fish dishes. Whatever she ate, she shared the foods with us. She said that couldn't finish those dishes. It touches my heart, how lucky I am surrounded by kind people.

Chinese New Year chocolate, thin cookies, and oranges from our local neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

So, how we can manage our relationships with locals? Here are tips from me, you have to learn the local culture and live like a local. For example, shopping in the wet market, eating in the hawker, or planting flowers and plants. If you work every day then at least on Saturday and Sunday, giving your time to walk and visit the market nearby. I often bought my fresh ingredients in the wet market before coronavirus years like vegetables, fruits, and cut flowers. I also used to buy daily clothes such as T-shirts at the market and wear them. Even the small bag that I have always carried was only $ 5 and bought in the market nearby. Buying some kitchen tools and household tools also in the market, for example, washing machine nets, basin, plant wire, et cetera. Finding and trying local foods in the hawker, usually before the Covid-19 situation, we went to hawker nearby wet market on Saturday or Sunday. What had I bought? I had bought a sugar cane drink or coconut water. Those are my favorite drinks. what about food or snack? I like Pie tee! The good news is if you like gardening, why? Because most locals love flowers and plants! So it would easy to make a friend with the neighbor. Furthermore, if you are a cat lover that another good thing! Why? Locals who I know are animal lovers. Whether have cat or dog, that would make conversation easier, as result, we can make a friend with locals.

Colorful noodles and cakes from our local neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Here what I did when moved to a new neighborhood. We visited our neighbor flats who lived on the same floor one by one, knocked on their door, gave them a cake that I bought from the market nearby, and introduced ourselves that we were a new resident. That's how we show our gratitude to others especially when we move to a new residential. Here in Singapore, people have always been busy, so, Chinese New Year, Christmas, or Hari Raya, there is the best time to visit a neighbor and bring a cake or cookies. But remember, we have to respect their privacy, for example, talking to them just only in minutes when knock their door to give a cake because they have their own business at home, unless, they invite and allow you to enter their house then you can enter their flat and talk longer. But in our experiences that we only talk about 15-30 minutes in their flat. Generally, we often talk about our hometown, food, or cat or dog because I love cats and my neighbor has a dog or talks about gardening, sometimes our neighbor told us about their experiences when visited other countries. It sounds basic, but we set barriers that we respect their private life.

At 16 years old, I decided to study at a university in the city on another island. Since that day I have learned so many things. But one thing that is very important I have always been remembering, wherever I go, I have to learn the local culture where I live and blend with locals. Do not think that you are different and make friends and doing activities only with people who come from the same country.

I often did gardening on a public holiday, and weekend (before the Covid-19 situation), who knows the neighbor comes and we just simply talked for a few minutes in the corridor while I planted flowers. Walking to the market nearby buying things; it could be flowers, household tools, visit our Community Club, joining some events in our Community Club, visit a public library, et cetera, all those activities are the way how to live like locals. Living simply like local, that's our motto. Blending with locals and understanding their culture that the key to living harmony.

It sounds easy to live in harmony with locals in Singapore, right? Understanding locals, living like locals, those things will make it easy for you to build warm relationships with your neighbor. So, it means my neighbor is my friend? Yes! That's my answer!😊

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission
Do not reuse these photographs anywhere else without permission

Child Marriages: Education is The Key to Solve Social Issues

I believe people who born in the modern country or first world-class countries have been known that education is important and will bring a bright future for their nation or country. However, the fact is so sad when we are born in third world-class countries where people do not believe that education is the key for the children to have a good future. I would like to say that the rise of child marriages in the third-world class country is affected by the lack of education.

I was born and grew up in a tiny village in Sumatera Island - Indonesia. And I admit that the country where I come from is a third-world class country. Since I was a child, I have seen soo many issues for instance social, education, policy, corruption, et cetera. The first time I heard "corruption" was when my father looked for justice and fight in court for a year to reveal the truth. But, the law that should have protected him betrayed and humiliated him. I was in fifth grade at the time, but I clearly understood the words "corruption" "evident disappear" "fake witnesses" "bribing the judge" et cetera. That's what I had learned from my father's case. My father was an excellent and smart person. He was an honest employee that would give everything to achieve company goals. However, he didn't have a degree and did not go to the university, he just took a computer course. When the company promoted him, many people who have higher education than him worked together to kick out my father from the company and set him up for something that he hadn't ever done. He fought for justice, but the law was about "money" which was only money can speak the truth, who had money then they would win in the court. You know what I mean, right? Since that day, I eager to get a degree and wanted to study at a university. Why? Because only higher education makes people respect us, moreover, the key to becoming have a good life in the future is education! Without high education and degree, even if we become a success in a career but it is not enough to convince people that we are good at that field. Furthermore, without education, people will underestimate us and make fool us around, neither government agencies, the law, community, et cetera. That's how I picture the place where I come from. I have a strong reason why I must get the highest education.

I lived in my hometown since I was born until graduated from high school. Growing up in the village community I felt grateful because I could learn to respect nature, how to become a strong person in any situation, and learned how to make handicrafts. However, I also experienced some or many social issues around our community. What was that? One of those issues was child marriages. Until today, it is still a big issue in my view because there are still many children who do not go to school and marriage at a such young age. You know what? There is one of the reasons why Ichikraft Give and Care exist; I give school assistance to children who live in poverty. I want to break this circle where many villager's children drop off and get married even before 17 years old.

When I was in elementary school, I had a bunch of friends. Like any other children, every day we explored the village by cycling around the village and crop field. We would learn to make our own doll, toy, handmade bag, by using any kind of materials around us for example twig, hard fruit, cardboard, or collecting straw in the street or garden. All those activities made us become creative children. It sounds fun, right? But it didn't last long when I realized one by one my friends gone. Where were they? After graduated from elementary school my friend went to work as a maid or helper in another village or place. A year later came back home and married. My other friend also ended up in the same cycle. Some others went to study at a secondary school but in the second year, they drop off and got married. Their age ranged between 12-14 years old. Year by year the same issue hadn't ended when I saw lots of same cases in our community when the girls or boys drop off from high school and married.

After married, these boys or girls just simply rely on their parent's support, especially financial support; living with parent, foods and all daily necessity come from the parent. They hadn't gotten a job but at the same time, they had a baby. Everything was a burden to their parent. Without getting a degree there is no decent job offer to them, and that's the fact that they had to face after married at such young age. It is the real world that they have to embrace. If the parent was rich enough, they still have a good life for example the parent would build a home for them, and financial support. But again, without education, even if the parent rich enough, all those money just easily disappears because those children were actually just a child in reality and mentally, they did not know about the responsibility as "adults" and did not act as "adults." But why was this happen, why the parent arrange for them to marry, and repeat year by year?

The reason why child marriages happened in our community in our hometown was not only because they were poor families and could not go to school then ended up married before 17 years old. People who come from outside my hometown maybe they think it is happening because many villagers live in poverty. Indeed, in some cases like my friends, yes, their family was really poor. However, many villagers had crop fields, cows, living in the big house, had money, all those things were enough to send their children to study at a university at least a Diploma. Even some of the villagers in my hometown were business owners, so they even could send their children to the best school. But why their children got married at such young age? The only reason is they think going to school is a waste of money. These parents could not see how education is important for their children's future and helping them to survive. They trapped in the comfort zone; having a good business and living in heaven. These kinds of parents didn't encourage their children properly that education will help them to thrive because the parents were uneducated and did not want to open their mind such as make a friend with an educated family and asked them why children needed school.

What I have believed that every day is not always a rainbow, sometimes a storm comes. With the knowledge that we get from school at university, we can get through the storm. So, child marriage is about a lack of parenting in the case above? I would say, yes, in this case. Some parents saw that sent the children to a university was just a waste of time because in Indonesia there are lots of students who finished Bachelor Degree for more than 4 years; it could 5 years, 6 years, even 7 years! Can you believe that? Until this day, this bad habit has never ended. Because of this bad picture about study in a university; waste money & waste time, some parents who did not have high education just simply satisfied when their children finished elementary school or secondary school. The next move was to marry off their children, giving them money to start a business to open shop, and building the house for them, if necessary still provide additional money to support their children financially. But, when someday the parents grow old, slowly the money runs out, business goes slow, they realize that only with high education their children would survive. This case happened in our community.

What about children who lived in poverty, what the reason why they ended up married earlier? First, of course, the parents didn't have enough money to pay tuition fees monthly. They struggled every day working daily to buy enough food for their children at home. So, paying school fees was something hard for them. That's the reason why many villager's children drop off from elementary school or secondary school. The next step was just to get married by arrangement because they did not know what had to do; no skill, no job. If they didn't marry, all neighbors would be gossiping about them which meant there was no room for them in the social community. There is no help come to support those poor children and their families. What I had seen in our community that time when we had money people would respect us and loved to make a friend with us. But, if we were just a poor family, there was no one to help you; your family, your relatives, and even the government just simply ignored you. Instead of giving them a skill or helping them to pay tuition fees, people who had access and fund ignore these children. I had the same feeling at the time when suddenly my father did not have money and broke, people loved to make fun of my father, underestimates him and me.

How education is important to solve the social issue of child marriage? If you are following Ichikraft Give and Care, instantly you know that our mission is to help villager children to keep going to school. Moreover, I hope with this little help and support they can write a good future. If you read my articles on Ichikraft Give and Care, you knew that all of these families' household incomes are very low. I do not want them to drop off from school and get married at such young age. I want them to stay at school, giving them time to think about the future not drop off and married. Furthermore, the opportunity may come to them along the path, what they want to be in the future, plan it, and work hard on it. Only high education and a degree will solve the social issue where no one bullied someone who comes from a poor family if this person holds a degree. A poor family can change their future through education as well, how? A decent job requires high education and degree, am I right? What I have believed is that school is the passport to get a better life in the future. Luckily, my friend, Riche, who helps me to distribute the school assistance money every month, is a nice, kind, and good teacher who could direct guide them to study hard because nothing is possible. Unfortunately, until today, there are many people who do not believe that education is important and can change a life. That's why we can easy to find and see child marriage.

In my view, school is like an investment and not a waste of money. One of my classmates from high school told me, "school is not important and we do not need to study at a university. Nowadays, we can learn from the internet." I answered this statement with two words, "Good luck!" This is real-world, without a degree we can not get a decent job, without a decent job is not easy to get a better life and money, without money we can not send our children to the university and guarantee their health. And those are the reality, at least in my life experiences. If there are any people who said, "I can succeed without a degree" or "I can succeed without going to school and university" I also say, "Good luck!" Even though you are a successful businessman or woman without a school or degree, but your company can only succeed if people who run your company are capable people with degrees and certifications. I remember in the past, I got my privileged job as an executive assistant because I finished my Bachelor's degree in 3,5 years with cum-laude. Dealing with my hometown government was also easy when it comes to administration where most people complain about how bad their services; on the contrary, they gave us the best services because we hold a degree and they respect us and did not dare fool us around. And because I went to school and studied at a university, fate brings me here, live in Singapore. All my Indonesian friends think that I married a foreigner and live in Singapore like many Indonesian women. Me, I stand here (in Singapore) because I worked on it through education since I was a child, planned my future, and went to study at a university; even to this day, I am still working hard for my future. In the past, my husband worked hard on his study as well, after married we worked together to reach our dream. In the past one of my father's friends said this to my father, "it is a good thing that you send your daughter to university. With high education and degree, it will raise the level of your dignity." So, education will bring us from nothing to something, from nowhere to somewhere. That's how important children need to go to school.

For me, personally, child marriage is an intriguing issue, especially in my hometown. What I can say it hasn't changed. However, I made a move to break the wall which means I am trying to make a change and send a message about how important education is by giving school assistant to some children who live in poverty. Of course, staying at school will avoid them to marry at such young age; at the same time, it gives them small light to see the good future ahead.

Note:

Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
Do not copy this article without permission