Moving and living in Singapore? I believe many people around you will ask the same question, what is look like living in one of the expensive cities in the world and how the relationship with your neighbor? I think all my Indonesian friends asked me the same question.
Maybe you wonder why people keep asking their friends or family who move to Singapore how the neighbor relationships. As many of you knows that Singapore is a bustling and busy city. You can see how fast people walk in the MRT station every day, everyone looks in rush. Every household closes their door because they are busy with soo many things every day. However, we can see and feel a warm community where we can build our relationship with locals or our neighbors in the place where we live in.
Sending all kueh bahulu (kueh bahulu is a traditional Singapore cake to celebrate Lunar New Year) and pineapple tart to our local's neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Before moved to Singapore, we lived in Jakarta-Indonesia. I thought living in Singapore would encounter the same experiences just like what we had in Jakarta, an individual neighbor which means we stay close but we do not know who exactly our neighbor is. We had been worrying about all those things until one day we moved and stayed among locals (Singaporeans). What I have experienced is completely different from what I thought before. We are amazed by a local's warmth, I call it the true heart of Singapore.
We sent this cake to our local friend - Photographed by Aunty V
First-year after moved I had always closed our door. I also used to buy our groceries in hypermarket only. I hadn't ever interacted with our neighbor who lived on the same floor. Our neighbors did the same thing; closing their door all day long. Until someday Chinese New Year came and it was my first Lunar New Year in Singapore. I was excited because lots of flowers and plants were sold. We walked around the wet market nearby our block and I bought yellow Chrysanthemum and Kalanchoe. Since that day I collected one by one flower and did gardening in our corridor. I bought Flamingo flower, Begonias, mint; I planted Portulaca, Zinnia, Marigold, and many others. Someday one of our neighbors stopped by and we talked about flowers and she offered me to exchange Portulaca flowers. That was the first time I made a friend. Day by day, we knew all of our neighbors who lived on the same floor. Moreover, we also knew and made friends with other neighbors who lived in another building and another floor. We often talked outside just for 1 minute or 2 minutes whenever we met, sometimes in the void deck, lift, the wet market, or when we just sit down on the bench in the park. When I remember about that time, the first year came to Singapore, how selfish I was as a new neighbor and foreigner. I should have talked to my neighbor first and not waiting.
Christmas cake from our local neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
After the first year, we often joined Community Club events such as the Mooncake festival, Harmony Day, and Movie Night. We also did exchange cookies on Chinese New Year; even sometimes I received "ang pao" from my neighbor. Whenever I came back from Indonesia, I bought a bunch of snacks that I gave to them all. Sometimes I just simply share my Portulaca and gave it to my neighbor, or helping them watering their plants when they went overseas. One of our Malay neighbors also engaged us first then we become friends until this day, unfortunately, one of them passed away a few years ago. I also gave food to stray cats that lived around every day. Every day I walked around to feed the cats in our block. I had always carried cat food in my small bag. It was the first year that I learned about locals.
Christmas cake from one of our local neighbors - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
After a few years living in Singapore, until this day, we had moved to 3 different districts, and I am glad that everywhere we moved, we have made a new friend with our neighbors especially those who live on the same floor. We have continued to always give warmth relationship to our neighbors. Even I made a friend with a local who attended the same class which means staying in another district. Nowadays, I exchange cakes or cookies for 3 celebrations: Chinese New Year, Christmas, and Hari Raya. So, please, do not confuse if we celebrate 3 different celebrations every year. Regardless of race, language, and religion, we just love to spread happiness and peace to all. Sometimes my neighbor just comes by and gives us cakes even my cat, Ichi, received toys from our local's friends. So, basically, we do not need to wait until celebration day, if we want to give something to our neighbor or local friends, just send it for example sending birthday gift or cake to our local friend. Or like today, my local friend who lives in another district sent me a flower basket, 2 mangoes, and a thin cookie (the first picture above). In the past, we had a neighbor who had given me vegetables or fish dishes. Whatever she ate, she shared the foods with us. She said that couldn't finish those dishes. It touches my heart, how lucky I am surrounded by kind people.
Chinese New Year chocolate, thin cookies, and oranges from our local neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
So, how we can manage our relationships with locals? Here are tips from me, you have to learn the local culture and live like a local. For example, shopping in the wet market, eating in the hawker, or planting flowers and plants. If you work every day then at least on Saturday and Sunday, giving your time to walk and visit the market nearby. I often bought my fresh ingredients in the wet market before coronavirus years like vegetables, fruits, and cut flowers. I also used to buy daily clothes such as T-shirts at the market and wear them. Even the small bag that I have always carried was only $ 5 and bought in the market nearby. Buying some kitchen tools and household tools also in the market, for example, washing machine nets, basin, plant wire, et cetera. Finding and trying local foods in the hawker, usually before the Covid-19 situation, we went to hawker nearby wet market on Saturday or Sunday. What had I bought? I had bought a sugar cane drink or coconut water. Those are my favorite drinks. what about food or snack? I like Pie tee! The good news is if you like gardening, why? Because most locals love flowers and plants! So it would easy to make a friend with the neighbor. Furthermore, if you are a cat lover that another good thing! Why? Locals who I know are animal lovers. Whether have cat or dog, that would make conversation easier, as result, we can make a friend with locals.
Colorful noodles and cakes from our local neighbor - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
Here what I did when moved to a new neighborhood. We visited our neighbor flats who lived on the same floor one by one, knocked on their door, gave them a cake that I bought from the market nearby, and introduced ourselves that we were a new resident. That's how we show our gratitude to others especially when we move to a new residential. Here in Singapore, people have always been busy, so, Chinese New Year, Christmas, or Hari Raya, there is the best time to visit a neighbor and bring a cake or cookies. But remember, we have to respect their privacy, for example, talking to them just only in minutes when knock their door to give a cake because they have their own business at home, unless, they invite and allow you to enter their house then you can enter their flat and talk longer. But in our experiences that we only talk about 15-30 minutes in their flat. Generally, we often talk about our hometown, food, or cat or dog because I love cats and my neighbor has a dog or talks about gardening, sometimes our neighbor told us about their experiences when visited other countries. It sounds basic, but we set barriers that we respect their private life.
At 16 years old, I decided to study at a university in the city on another island. Since that day I have learned so many things. But one thing that is very important I have always been remembering, wherever I go, I have to learn the local culture where I live and blend with locals. Do not think that you are different and make friends and doing activities only with people who come from the same country.
I often did gardening on a public holiday, and weekend (before the Covid-19 situation), who knows the neighbor comes and we just simply talked for a few minutes in the corridor while I planted flowers. Walking to the market nearby buying things; it could be flowers, household tools, visit our Community Club, joining some events in our Community Club, visit a public library, et cetera, all those activities are the way how to live like locals. Living simply like local, that's our motto. Blending with locals and understanding their culture that the key to living harmony.
It sounds easy to live in harmony with locals in Singapore, right? Understanding locals, living like locals, those things will make it easy for you to build warm relationships with your neighbor. So, it means my neighbor is my friend? Yes! That's my answer!😊
Note:
- Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
- Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
- Do not copy this article without permission
- Do not reuse these photographs anywhere else without permission
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