I believe people who born in the modern country or first world-class countries have been known that education is important and will bring a bright future for their nation or country. However, the fact is so sad when we are born in third world-class countries where people do not believe that education is the key for the children to have a good future. I would like to say that the rise of child marriages in the third-world class country is affected by the lack of education.
I was born and grew up in a tiny village in Sumatera Island - Indonesia. And I admit that the country where I come from is a third-world class country. Since I was a child, I have seen soo many issues for instance social, education, policy, corruption, et cetera. The first time I heard "corruption" was when my father looked for justice and fight in court for a year to reveal the truth. But, the law that should have protected him betrayed and humiliated him. I was in fifth grade at the time, but I clearly understood the words "corruption" "evident disappear" "fake witnesses" "bribing the judge" et cetera. That's what I had learned from my father's case. My father was an excellent and smart person. He was an honest employee that would give everything to achieve company goals. However, he didn't have a degree and did not go to the university, he just took a computer course. When the company promoted him, many people who have higher education than him worked together to kick out my father from the company and set him up for something that he hadn't ever done. He fought for justice, but the law was about "money" which was only money can speak the truth, who had money then they would win in the court. You know what I mean, right? Since that day, I eager to get a degree and wanted to study at a university. Why? Because only higher education makes people respect us, moreover, the key to becoming have a good life in the future is education! Without high education and degree, even if we become a success in a career but it is not enough to convince people that we are good at that field. Furthermore, without education, people will underestimate us and make fool us around, neither government agencies, the law, community, et cetera. That's how I picture the place where I come from. I have a strong reason why I must get the highest education.
I lived in my hometown since I was born until graduated from high school. Growing up in the village community I felt grateful because I could learn to respect nature, how to become a strong person in any situation, and learned how to make handicrafts. However, I also experienced some or many social issues around our community. What was that? One of those issues was child marriages. Until today, it is still a big issue in my view because there are still many children who do not go to school and marriage at a such young age. You know what? There is one of the reasons why Ichikraft Give and Care exist; I give school assistance to children who live in poverty. I want to break this circle where many villager's children drop off and get married even before 17 years old.
When I was in elementary school, I had a bunch of friends. Like any other children, every day we explored the village by cycling around the village and crop field. We would learn to make our own doll, toy, handmade bag, by using any kind of materials around us for example twig, hard fruit, cardboard, or collecting straw in the street or garden. All those activities made us become creative children. It sounds fun, right? But it didn't last long when I realized one by one my friends gone. Where were they? After graduated from elementary school my friend went to work as a maid or helper in another village or place. A year later came back home and married. My other friend also ended up in the same cycle. Some others went to study at a secondary school but in the second year, they drop off and got married. Their age ranged between 12-14 years old. Year by year the same issue hadn't ended when I saw lots of same cases in our community when the girls or boys drop off from high school and married.
After married, these boys or girls just simply rely on their parent's support, especially financial support; living with parent, foods and all daily necessity come from the parent. They hadn't gotten a job but at the same time, they had a baby. Everything was a burden to their parent. Without getting a degree there is no decent job offer to them, and that's the fact that they had to face after married at such young age. It is the real world that they have to embrace. If the parent was rich enough, they still have a good life for example the parent would build a home for them, and financial support. But again, without education, even if the parent rich enough, all those money just easily disappears because those children were actually just a child in reality and mentally, they did not know about the responsibility as "adults" and did not act as "adults." But why was this happen, why the parent arrange for them to marry, and repeat year by year?
The reason why child marriages happened in our community in our hometown was not only because they were poor families and could not go to school then ended up married before 17 years old. People who come from outside my hometown maybe they think it is happening because many villagers live in poverty. Indeed, in some cases like my friends, yes, their family was really poor. However, many villagers had crop fields, cows, living in the big house, had money, all those things were enough to send their children to study at a university at least a Diploma. Even some of the villagers in my hometown were business owners, so they even could send their children to the best school. But why their children got married at such young age? The only reason is they think going to school is a waste of money. These parents could not see how education is important for their children's future and helping them to survive. They trapped in the comfort zone; having a good business and living in heaven. These kinds of parents didn't encourage their children properly that education will help them to thrive because the parents were uneducated and did not want to open their mind such as make a friend with an educated family and asked them why children needed school.
What I have believed that every day is not always a rainbow, sometimes a storm comes. With the knowledge that we get from school at university, we can get through the storm. So, child marriage is about a lack of parenting in the case above? I would say, yes, in this case. Some parents saw that sent the children to a university was just a waste of time because in Indonesia there are lots of students who finished Bachelor Degree for more than 4 years; it could 5 years, 6 years, even 7 years! Can you believe that? Until this day, this bad habit has never ended. Because of this bad picture about study in a university; waste money & waste time, some parents who did not have high education just simply satisfied when their children finished elementary school or secondary school. The next move was to marry off their children, giving them money to start a business to open shop, and building the house for them, if necessary still provide additional money to support their children financially. But, when someday the parents grow old, slowly the money runs out, business goes slow, they realize that only with high education their children would survive. This case happened in our community.
What about children who lived in poverty, what the reason why they ended up married earlier? First, of course, the parents didn't have enough money to pay tuition fees monthly. They struggled every day working daily to buy enough food for their children at home. So, paying school fees was something hard for them. That's the reason why many villager's children drop off from elementary school or secondary school. The next step was just to get married by arrangement because they did not know what had to do; no skill, no job. If they didn't marry, all neighbors would be gossiping about them which meant there was no room for them in the social community. There is no help come to support those poor children and their families. What I had seen in our community that time when we had money people would respect us and loved to make a friend with us. But, if we were just a poor family, there was no one to help you; your family, your relatives, and even the government just simply ignored you. Instead of giving them a skill or helping them to pay tuition fees, people who had access and fund ignore these children. I had the same feeling at the time when suddenly my father did not have money and broke, people loved to make fun of my father, underestimates him and me.
How education is important to solve the social issue of child marriage? If you are following Ichikraft Give and Care, instantly you know that our mission is to help villager children to keep going to school. Moreover, I hope with this little help and support they can write a good future. If you read my articles on Ichikraft Give and Care, you knew that all of these families' household incomes are very low. I do not want them to drop off from school and get married at such young age. I want them to stay at school, giving them time to think about the future not drop off and married. Furthermore, the opportunity may come to them along the path, what they want to be in the future, plan it, and work hard on it. Only high education and a degree will solve the social issue where no one bullied someone who comes from a poor family if this person holds a degree. A poor family can change their future through education as well, how? A decent job requires high education and degree, am I right? What I have believed is that school is the passport to get a better life in the future. Luckily, my friend, Riche, who helps me to distribute the school assistance money every month, is a nice, kind, and good teacher who could direct guide them to study hard because nothing is possible. Unfortunately, until today, there are many people who do not believe that education is important and can change a life. That's why we can easy to find and see child marriage.
In my view, school is like an investment and not a waste of money. One of my classmates from high school told me, "school is not important and we do not need to study at a university. Nowadays, we can learn from the internet." I answered this statement with two words, "Good luck!" This is real-world, without a degree we can not get a decent job, without a decent job is not easy to get a better life and money, without money we can not send our children to the university and guarantee their health. And those are the reality, at least in my life experiences. If there are any people who said, "I can succeed without a degree" or "I can succeed without going to school and university" I also say, "Good luck!" Even though you are a successful businessman or woman without a school or degree, but your company can only succeed if people who run your company are capable people with degrees and certifications. I remember in the past, I got my privileged job as an executive assistant because I finished my Bachelor's degree in 3,5 years with cum-laude. Dealing with my hometown government was also easy when it comes to administration where most people complain about how bad their services; on the contrary, they gave us the best services because we hold a degree and they respect us and did not dare fool us around. And because I went to school and studied at a university, fate brings me here, live in Singapore. All my Indonesian friends think that I married a foreigner and live in Singapore like many Indonesian women. Me, I stand here (in Singapore) because I worked on it through education since I was a child, planned my future, and went to study at a university; even to this day, I am still working hard for my future. In the past, my husband worked hard on his study as well, after married we worked together to reach our dream. In the past one of my father's friends said this to my father, "it is a good thing that you send your daughter to university. With high education and degree, it will raise the level of your dignity." So, education will bring us from nothing to something, from nowhere to somewhere. That's how important children need to go to school.
For me, personally, child marriage is an intriguing issue, especially in my hometown. What I can say it hasn't changed. However, I made a move to break the wall which means I am trying to make a change and send a message about how important education is by giving school assistant to some children who live in poverty. Of course, staying at school will avoid them to marry at such young age; at the same time, it gives them small light to see the good future ahead.
Note:
- Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
- Do not copy this article without permission
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