Treat People Like You Want To Be Treated

I believe, what kind of the seed we sow today, we'll harvest it someday. Some people say you can't expect to harvest bright sweet cherry tomatoes if we plant chili seeds. In this case, how our attitude toward others would reflect on how people treat us. For this reason, it is a wise move for us to treat other people nicely by giving them the best gratitude and gesture. 

Not long ago someone asked, why I didn't reply to her message and assumed that I got mad. Back a few years ago, this person with his brother bothered me almost every day to get as much as information they needed and asked for help with their issues about university matters. After getting what they wanted gradually both of them just disregard me even I wasn't able to contact one of them when I needed hands. After some time, they showed up because one of them desperately asked for help to solve the crucial problem. Although we were disappointed with them, one more time we helped him. At first, I just thought they were busy with their life so I didn't pay any serious matters to it since they were my relative. However, my friend concern about those people on how they behave toward me, and my friend said, "You know what, they just want benefits, not a sincere relationship." Since that day I have started to open up my mind widely to see their acts carefully. First, they disrespected me, second is came to me only for benefits and wanted something, third is suddenly became friendly and cared for by using my brother. Well, they knew I love my brother, so by asking how's my brother doing, his school and hopefully, they would get my attention. But after years of observing their attitude and manner, I must decisive and make a bold decision. In another word, I don't want to associate with them anymore, no more help, no more information, no more a favor.  Because of this, they said I am angry with them. I bet after I ignore them back, they would roll out a story to their entire family and friends that I treat them badly. Doesn't make an effort to plant a beautiful flower yet demand to cut splendid blossom in the garden?🤷‍♀️

Another case was far more amusing to pen down in this article. I had always treasured everyone who said that they were my friends or family. Because of this reason, I often checked them by sending messages. The answer that I got was this; "Who's this?" and it repeated in another month. It's too obvious that this person had never saved my number (my number hasn't changed) which meant I was not important. The interesting part was how she did remember me after did not able to identify me before. This person recalled me when she would get married. Of course, after getting a package that full of presents she disappeared. A few years later this person showed up again by alluring me about her daughter's birthday and hoped I would send a birthday package for her daughter. I just took no notice of it and the next happened was she developed a drama that I forgot an old friend. Another person acted the same thing, asked for a favor, got what she wanted, then disappeared. A few years later came to me asked for something again, and I ignored her back. What happened then, this person got angry and a year later begged for forgiveness. What I can say, I had had enough.

Life is beautiful when we choose positively and staying drama-free. The case that similar had often emerged for years and all of them had the same goal; they wanted benefits whether asked me about crucial information, goods or stuff, or even money.🤷‍♀️

The reason why I had always tried to be nice to people who disrespect and ignore me was that my father taught me to have always treated others gently. Therefore, I had been trapped with this mindset for so many years until 4 years ago my friend opened up my mind. Actually, there is nothing wrong with what my father wanted. He just made sure that I would become a kind person in the future. And I am glad about it. However, I think we do not need to waste our time just to bond with people who just want benefits from us. They do not deserve our attention. It would better to keep people who try and make an effort to keep us. By building a healthy relationship, we can grow a strong connection, and the most important thing is to hold hands together to support the dream we have. 

We can't expect others to become friendly with us if we have never shown a good gesture. In my view, to build up relationships we need an effort to maintain time by time. In my experience, We just need to do the simple thing continuously. For example: during my time living in my village when there was no smartphone and internet, I wrote letters to my friends. After moving to another city and abundant sources I used to write an e-mail to my friend. Nowadays, I have internet and a smartphone, at least once a month check my friend by sending a message about how are they up to. On special occasions for instance birthday, Christmas, Chinese New Year, and Hari Raya, et cetera; I send a proper message not emoji. Another we can do is by sending a card, gifts, or a package. And do not think when I say gift, this gift or present must expensive. What the hell no! In my opinion, it would great if we create the gift by ourselves. In my case, I have always made handmade flowers for my friends it could be brooch or hair accessories. What about my male friend? At this point, I often send something for his children, it could be a children's book, stationery, et cetera. Just like that? YES! Sometimes we do not realize by doing a small thing could be valuable to someone. For example, people would absolutely delighted to receive birthday messages, Christmas cards, or presents at a special event especially when we make handmade gifts with our hands. That's my friends on how to decipher their feeling when getting my handmade brooch and hair accessories, they have always loved my work and appreciate how much time that I have to spend to make the present. Price is nothing compare to the warm heart that we offer to tie up the relationship.😊

Despite the event that I encountered, I have been met with kindness and carrying people wherever I go and stay. Sometimes a stranger at first but then becomes more like a new family to me. I do still remember when I decided to study at a university in a faraway city from my hometown. People around me mostly assumed that I would not survive since they thought I didn't have any friends and I had never traveled to any cities. In contrast, the achievement that I have made washing them away even further. Because in reality, I made a friend from overseas since I was in the third year of high school and made lots of friends during my university life even local people. I do not have any difficulties bonding with the people surrounding me.  Like nowadays, many foreigners who live in Singapore have always said that it wasn't easy to close to their neighbors; most of them do not know their own neighbors. In contrast, I have made friends with my neighbors and have exchanged foods during festive seasons such as Chinese New Year, Christmas, and Hari Raya. By treating others nicely we will get good things in return that surrounded by good people who have always support us. 

Life is beautiful if we spread kindness and happiness. Instead of making trouble, we can create the best world we live in by giving the best gratitude and gesture, also we have always grateful for our life. We should treat other people like the one we want to be treated. That's what I call a wonderful life.

Note:

• Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Do not copy this article without permission
• Do not reuse this photograph anywhere else without permission

 

 

The Benefits of Cooking Our Meal at Home

 

The Journey of Ichi's Family: simple yet tasty and healthy meal - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

Cooking at home? Why not? Some people keep saying that their life is busy and do not have time to cook meals at home. But, do you realize there are some of the many benefits we will gain if we change our mind and habit so that enjoying much more time in the kitchen has become a daily routine. 

Gladly, I was born and grew up in a remote village where people cook their own meals every day. Many of them grew vegetable and fruit trees in the yards so that provided food sources without spent more money to buy ingredients. Most of the villagers went to work in the field at 5.30 AM and came back home at 5 PM. Yet, they were able to cook their meals daily without absence. So, naturally, it is not my habit to buy food from a food stall, take away food, or dine-in in the restaurant. I admit, when my father was a successful career man, we often buy food from a food stall for our dinner in the market. However, this habit was suddenly gone in our circumstances after my father loses everything. Since that day, my habit had gradually changed and it leads me to what I am today. 

Vegetable Japanese curry serves with linguine and veggie fritter. The recipe is on Ichi's Fusion Recipe - Photographed by RDZ

For some people cooking is not easy and consumes much more time in our daily life. Meanwhile, others have been busy with their routine so cooking is barely impossible. Another, they just love to buy food from outside and don't want to associate with "dirty" work in the kitchen. A "dirty" work? Yes, they afraid their beautiful nails will break and has an awful body smell. I think people have their own reason why prepare a meal sounds tough. Whatever other people think, I found there are some benefits we will get if we cook  our own dishes at home.

1. Saving money

As cheaper labor, my father only earned about $ 4 a month. We could not survive until a week with this little money. We did not buy foods from food stalls anymore and making our meals daily instead. The main reason was household income could not support our old lifestyle. Simply, cooking every meal at home was the only way to throughout a month; you can say "struggling." When we had additional money, my father saved it for an emergency or another purpose that important for instance to support my education in the future. That's how it worked by cooking at home we managed to get through the rough situation.

After married, I do intent to cook daily in order to save money and I wanted to make sure that we did not over budget in foods. We had lived in a small city after married for about 6 months. In this city, one portion meal would cost IDR 3,000. So, about at least IDR 9,000 just for 2 meals and drinks for 2 people. Meanwhile, with IDR 10,000 I could buy ingredients and fruit (banana or papaya) that enough for our lunch and dinner. Believe me, it was not that simple as you thought since my cooking knowledge was limited. I learned one by one recipe every single day; starting from the easier dish in the kitchen. Our married began from scratch; our bank account was zero. Yet, we were able to move to Singapore. Most of my friends think that my family helped me out. As you know, moving to another country needs an act of courage and brave enough to endure all the costs. And because our lifestyle has always eaten at home, we succeed to save money. And, since 2018 we have been planning to move to another country again to pursue our academics. If we ignore the importance of cooking at home, making our own meals routine, we are not here today.🙂

Chicken breast sate serves with homemade rice cake that made from Japanese rice and boiled spinach. You can't find chicken breast sate like this in any food stall - Photographed by RDZ

Here in Singapore, a portion of Japanese curry would cost about $7. But making it at home, buying a pack of Japanese curry paste only costs $6 - $7 and it's for 12 serving! Can you believe that? Carrot only costs about $ 1 until $ 2 and it's enough for a week. A pack of Australian potatoes is about $5 a week unless we want a baked potato. Moreover, I can cook healthier Japanese curry by adding carrot, potato, kale, or tofu into my curry sauce. Believe me, even though the restaurant said Japanese curry but there is no sign of vegetables in the curry sauce. 🤷‍♀️😅 At home, I can make tempura tofu or tempura tempeh, veggie fritter, or boiled egg, to accompany my Japanese curry. In the restaurant that we visited, they do not make "tempura yassai" or known as tempura veggie. 

Pan-fry salmon; recipe on Ichi's Fusion Recipes - Photographed by RDZ

Another example is the Salmon dish. You guess, how much 1 portion dish of a salmon menu? In the food court is about $12 for one meal or even more expensive when you go to the restaurant. But when I cook salmon at home, generally, 4 slices of frozen salmon is about $ 19, and $ 13 for 4 slices of frozen salmon when a discount! 4 slices of salmon which mean 4 portions. Moreover, the taste of my recipe much more great and delicious than from the food stall. It's the reason why I would rather eat at home and cook our meal!

I love saba or you call it mackerel fish. In the food court in any mall one portion saba menu is about $6,5. It's the cheapest one. Like always, it serves without any vegetables at all.🤷‍♀️ On the contrary, I can make a healthier set saba menu at home. The taste? My saba is delightful and no fishy smell. Besides, the vibrant vegetable on the plate is served with my saba. Guess, how much the price of one pack of saba that contains 3 slices of fillet saba? It is about $ 6 for 3 slices of frozen fillet saba! I often buy saba and cook this menu at home which means I can make 3 portions of the saba menu at home!

Pan fry saba cook with butter & onion, boiled carrot, and kale, fresh radish, Japanese rice with furikake on top of it, grape. Recipe on Ichi's Fusion Recipes! - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

By looking at the three menus above, you can count how much money that I can save by cooking at home. This number is huge when we are talking about dining out at the restaurant and food court in Singapore. My Japanese friend said, "dining out is expensive, isn't it? Here Japanese prefer to make their own meal rather than dining out because expensive." It definitely involves lots of monthly income. And I do not want to waste our money on that, and I would like to use it to upgrade our degree, helping others who need help, or any kind of important matter like. My Indonesian friends have always said that living in Singapore is great that we can go to the cafe, restaurant, or it could be bar more often because it is a vibrant city. But if you ask me, am I often spending my time at those places? nope, not a chance! Unless there is any strong reason or purpose. 😉✌ Personally, I would like to invite over friends for dinner at my home so that they can bring their family (husband/ wife and their kids). 

2. Better Food: Healthy Food, Healthy Body

As I mentioned in the first point, buying Japanese curry from one of the restaurants that we visited, we could not find any trace of vegetable on it. I can't believe because Japanese loves vegetable on the daily meal, so why this restaurant is not able to provide this essential element? Are you sure it is a Japanese curry restaurant? 🤷‍♀️

For me, I think it's hard to find a menu that contains vegetables on it if I want to buy from outside which means a food stall. the ingredient they use is much more likely to give me health issues, for instance, sore throat just after an hour ate fried rice from one of the food stall nearby. Another is diarrhea right away after eating some of the particular foods from the food stall. There are just some effects of eating food that I do not know what kind of ingredients the food stall use and how they prepare and cook. At home, all my recipes do not contain sugar, I also only use low sodium salt, canola oil, or olive oil. Moreover, I substitute coconut milk with cooking cream and I avoid chili because those two ingredients make my stomach upset. Sort of to say, home cooking is healthier than takeaway food. The reason is we choose the ingredients cautiously, clean the ingredient before cook intentionally, and we plan our meals thoughtfully. 

Fried Hokkien noodle from my kitchen recipe, using low sodium salt, no sugar, olive oil, with a ton of vegetable - Photographed by RDZ

Look at the first picture in this article, it's simple yet tasty and healthy. I cooked rice cake made from Japanese rice, vegetable soup with meatballs, and tempura tofu. You could not find a menu like this at the food stall. When we cook our own meal at home, we consider and choose the ingredient carefully, clean, and cook with thoughtful. As result, we will gain a healthy body. And I am proud of myself when many of my friends have health issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, and many of them have sight problems and wearing glasses, meanwhile, my husband and I are just fine.🙂

3. Upskilling cooking talent

The great news if we choose to cook our meal at home is we will sharp our cooking skills by learning every day in the kitchen. Day by day, week by week, finally after years we can master it. The only matter is are you willing to learn? 

Some of my friends said, "Oh, you can cook?" Another said, "Yeah, you are clever so no wonder you can cook like that." I think it is a wrong perception on how someone could master on skill. Do you think if you have always been dining out, or just simply hire a maid and let her cook for you daily, then you can upgrade cooking skill? Well, like I mentioned before that I learn my cooking skill from scratch by making my meals daily and I am still learning today!😉 There is no instant move in every step to reach something. We have to move forward and do not ever think that we can't do it. We must embrace the difficulty upfront and pass it. 

Tempura tempeh and tempura tofu from my kitchen made using Japanese batter - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

By making the daily recipe at home, creating new dishes, finding another way to cook, slowly but surely we can improve our kitchen technic and taste better and better. What I have believed is our hard work will be paid off someday or another day. Who's know we can open a food stall someday or selling food and become a business owner. It sounds great, doesn't it?

4. The Opportunity to Open Business

I just said on point 3, there is an opportunity for us to open business by selling food. That's a golden door! From a small thing could become a big one in the future. 

For you who do not have any restriction to open food stall at home, you can try to take this opportunity. Cooking for the family yet we can sell it and get some money. Sometimes we underestimate our own skill, but if we are able to see it deeply, the fact is our ability to make food is a natural flow on our DNA. We just need to sharpen it until getting the best taste. And do not ever think if we fail, it does mean a doomsday. There is someone that I know who start the business even before she masters it. While opening a  home-based business, she is learning how to cook some particular foods. 

My fried rice! My recipe has always used low sodium salt, no sugar, no MSG, using olive oil or canola oil, and full with veggie. The rice itself is Japanese rice - Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti

I had learned from the people in my village that some of them were business owners. Most of them were a food stall and sold a simple menu, for instance, "pecel" known as Indonesian salad. Indonesian salad was comfort food for many residents in the tiny village. Everyone could easily make it at home, but why there was still a door to open a food stall and sold it? what I could say is the business owner was a courageous person. She made this particular salad at home for her family. She spent lots of time in the kitchen and intended to learn how to stew, grill, bake, et cetera. As result, she made money by selling "pecel" from home. Just like that? Yes! It just only one of example how cooking at home can open the opportunity to make money. Sometimes, a business idea comes from our daily basis, one of them is food, our comfort food at home. 

There are some benefits to cooking at home. First is saving money, then better food, and it could upskilling our cooking skill, the last is the opportunity to open business. There is my preference that preparing our own meals can lead us to get benefits. 

Note:

• Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
• Photographed by Acik Mardhiyanti and RDZ
• Do not copy this article without permission
• Do not reuse these photographs anywhere else without permission