No doubt, if you have been told that 16 years old me who have never traveled in any cities would survive in an unfamiliar place, you would laugh. Yet, the reality was far above any people in my village imagined that I had the capability to decide my future. To achieve my dream, I have crucial point where I needed to surround by people who are on the same page as I am or at least people who have a dream and supportive environment. In this case, who were my friends had a crucial stage to determine my future. It means friends were the ones who gave me the courage to open my horizon to see the world.
It sounds strange and foolish for people who insulted me. I had a story; one day someone insulted me that I had no friends, a crazy village girl who live in imaginary worlds as I have a big dream to study at university and would help others. The reason why this person looks moron is that in the real-life, I managed to make a bold decision to study at university in a faraway city and settle down everything by myself. Indeed, I was not doing all those things by myself because I had friends who helped me out and ideas where nobody from my own family or relatives gave me their hands; they bullied and talked rudely to me instead. The ones who had believed in my dream were outsiders which meant people who were not have carried the same blood.
In sixth grade, it was supposed the time for my father to talk about what my education next should be, where I had to ahead, and prepare for my final exam in primary school. In contrast, no one reached me about how I felt at that time as I needed to face the final exam and enroll in secondary school. While other students had been busy preparing for the final exam by taking courses outside school, meanwhile me? I had no clue and completely did not know what to do as in general, my father would settle any family matters including my school matters. The reason why my father forgot or ignored my academic life was that I presumed he had to focus on his case and I completely understood my father's obstacles. Well, I had another parent that call "mother", isn't it? What can I say about her, she had no interest in academics at all. She wished I was just like common village girls or more likely just like her. A sort of story about this "mother" was that it was not my grandma's fault she drop out at fifth grade since it was her choice. Believe me, my grandma tried hard to take her back to school. And when she was a teenager my grandma sent her to a sewing course with the hope she would hold a certificate and had a skill. And again, she left it. By the end of the day, she ended up without any credentials and any skill certifications. Luckily my father married her, however, the great life she had suddenly disappeared as my father lost everything when I was 9 years old. Back to the topic, It was clear that I stood in my own way and had to make a decision. Seriously, 9 years old girl must make a decision for her future? It is surreal but that's what happened to me. Otherwise, my path would be the same as most villager children; I left school, got married at such young age to an uneducated person, and would stay in the same place forever, and the worst thing is that I would live in poverty. And I chose to refuse all those paths, I set my dream higher and fought for my future.
I graduated from primary school in a messy household situation. Not long after receiving my credential from primary school, in the early morning, I got dressed, grabbed my dull bag, and rode my bicycle ahead of secondary school that just only around 1,2 KM from my father's house to register. Around 200 m before reaching secondary school, I stopped at one of our relatives. I asked him about the process of registering at my destination secondary school. Well, in my village there were only two secondary schools, if one secondary school did not accept me then I went to another one; basically, I did not have much choice back then or it was far from what I saw; I hadn't gone anywhere. And because it was the first time I needed a favor from this relative to accompany me. I still remember until this day that his face was unpleasant and without a word, he just walked with me toward the school. Yeah, he could not reject my favor because my father would be disappointed in him. After arriving at secondary school, I saw my friends and they looked happy and fun. My friends came in a group without their parents as I recognized one of them was risen by a single father; in general, she was independent by settling down anything by herself. At this point, I opened my eyes and just said "I should have gone with my friends." Since that day, I treasured my friends than family or relatives as I knew someday I needed them and only friends who could watch my back. And I thought my friends were much more sincere than my family or relatives.
Incredibly, during my secondary school, I succeeded to made friends with distinct groups across classes. As I was good at my academics, I did not need to work hard to get close with other students since many students were more likely curious about me. Moreover, in my second year of secondary school, I often got in touch with the upper group of students. The upper group was a group of students whose parents had high status in the community based on their occupation; most business owners. However, it did not mean I only made friends with those upper groups, NO! At the same time, I had also treasured others too who came from distinct backgrounds. The unique thing was that each group did not get long, however, I was easy to engage with each one of those groups, and they did not bother at all if sometimes I spent time with another group. Despite the rough situation at home and a financial crisis that made me up and down drastically, I managed to get through the tumultuous time. Working after school, involved in school activities for instance camping, joined martial art, participated in a competition in sport, and in my third year of secondary school I often studied in a group with friends after school because I was unable to join courses outside my school. All those routines kept me busy every day for the whole year! And my relationship with my friends both in my workplace and school got stronger each day so that I did not have time to pity myself, be sad and cry, or feel unlucky in this world because I created my own world where I found purpose in it and happiness.
Furthermore, because of friends, I got a piece of crucial information when one of my friends talked about one of our seniors. She said that a senior studied at one of the famous private schools in our city province and managed to enroll at one of the best universities in the best city for study. "What an amazing story" that was my first impression. It was the first time I heard about a famous and the best city to study in our nation where standing one of the best universities. All of those stories came from my friend's mouth, not from our relative who worked as a teacher or relatives that claimed they were rich. Immediately, I decided to follow my senior step to get into this particular private school and stretch my dream ahead to the best city to study. That was my plan in my third year of secondary school. Although I had never visited our city province or any cities in our nation yet I had believed that I would get my dream by working on it.
My plan was absolutely clear, however, my father's partner had never supported my excellent plan. I felt discouraged as I tried my best to get enough grades to enroll in my destination high school in our city province, or the second option, and the third option. In spite of my hard work, I had to pull myself together up and no time to feel down. And Again, because I did not know what to do as my father's partner tried to pull me away from my dream; my friend saved me by giving me an option that I did not think about it at all. Yeah, one of my friends would go to a high school in our neighborhood. She and I had been friends since we were in primary school. On the day that we agreed, we and some others traveled to register to this particular high school that was about 20 minutes by local transportation. Actually, I just followed her as I had no idea where was the school. To be honest, I wasn't confident with the last choice. Why? Because I knew if I took this choice, my golden opportunity to get into my dream university in the famous city to study would be gone. But, I could not do anything. Sad, yes I was! My only aim that day was just to continue my study in high school and I would figure out how to get to that famous city to study later. Unfortunately, my friends got rejected by this high school, meanwhile, I got accepted. Since then, she and I had not been hanging out together as we were busy with our new life in high school. Yeah, I realized that friends, sometimes, come and go like a wave. I wish we had a mobile phone like this day so that we could still be in touch.
In a new environment in high school, luckily, I met new friends and we were so easy to get close. Like in secondary school, many students in high school respected me and were kind to me. My performance moved forward each quarter both in academics and school clubs. In my second year, I got an achievement in a prestigious school club; I had been sent to training in a camp with other students from another school that had been selected. For about 2 weeks I had been training furiously to prepare for a performance in a big event where our regent was there. Since then, I had been gaining confidence in what I was doing and walked with my head up. In addition, I was able to maintain my academic grades as well so that my reputation spread fast like cancer in school. Back then, there were many smarter students above me in high school, however, I looked like snap their stage especially after I broke the wall of a school rule. What was that? In my third year of high school, the school decided to put me in science class but I rejected it since I consider I would study the economic program in university so that I thought it would be better I was in economic and social class. Many students dreamt to enter science class, but me? I refused. The second rule that I broke was when our school conducted a school trip. My group member was female students, all of them and it was the issue. Again, I managed it as the group member wanted to tag along with me and they insisted; it was tension between the school trip committee and us. Despite the unpleasant event before the trip, during the school trip, my group stood out, our paper was great, and we had fun! And it all the important matters for us, we were able to make a good paper and enjoyed our time together. Another thing was that my confidence grew stronger where I was able to hold and play volleyball and basketball. As a result, my final sports exam in the third year of my high school result was sitting in second place, and that's amazing for me. Yeah, in order to prepare for the sports exam in my third year in high school, in my second year I joined the volleyball club because I knew that I was really bad at sports and I needed some improvement. Thanks to my seniors who gave me the courage and concern about my sports performance. They gave me a suggestion to join the volleyball club so that I would get a good result in sports exams. The only thing that I can say, my high school life was smooth sailing as I got the support that I needed from seniors and friends (both school friends and workplace). For me, I loved being at school because all people there had positive energy and supported each other. Everyone that I know at school, they were doing their best to get the best of their life in the future. You could say, my friends mostly were school friends which meant mostly students.
By engaging with some friends with different interests and backgrounds in school, I had learned many things. Although my high school was only a neighborhood school yet I felt glad because in this place I thrived and grew up. Many people surrounded me said that reading books could not earn money and school was useless. However, for me, I put my faith in school because only in this place I could build my confidence to reach my dream. For instance, in my first year of high school, I couldn't barely speak in the front audience when we conducted presentations in the class and I bet my teachers spotted my lack; you know, if we could not speak in front of others no matter how intelligent we are, our path would be hard so we need communication skill. In the second year and third year, my teachers kept shooting me with questions and it forced me to speak out what was in my mind. This regular interaction in the class made me learn to speak out loudly, think fast to answer, make improvements with the answer, and confidently head up without trembling. And this skill was useful when I was in university as I had to complete my assignment by conducting at least two presentations each week. Yeah, it led my reputation to surge rapidly because most students did not have the gut to debate with me in presentation. Thanks to my high school teacher that taught and trained me to speak in the front audience. Well by the end of the day, this skill met up with my job after graduating from university. In my point of view, in school, we are not only reading science, economics, learning art et cetera; here we build our character, mind, and behavior in order to get a promising future.
After 2 weeks of training in the camp that I mentioned in the paragraph above, my confidence was like a rocket. Almost every day I came up in front of the class to solve math or explain a topic that we learned. I tell you what, this is a funny thing as I was not keen on math; my grade had always been bad in Math. However, since my first year in high school, I had started to be more "like" this subject (Math) in spite of the fact that Math was not my kind of thing. Someone asked me, how did I do to "like" Math? I reckon the key was that time I had a friend who had always been eager to study as I was. We also worked on homework (Math and other assignments) even sometimes we argued with each other about the answer to our tasks. I liked students who were able to argue with me about the answers to our task rather than others who just agreed or followed. And because this student, triggered me to study harder than before to improve my grades. On top of that, as far as I can tell, my teacher Math in the second year was an amazing person; his personality was great as he had always tried to make Math much more like other subjects. In general, there were many factors in how I was able to step further.
In addition, because of the courageous environment, in my second year of high school, I made a decision to study abroad! No wonder my family and relative called me a crazy villager girl who lives in an imaginary world because for them it was impossible. How did I be able to decide on such a kind of impossible dream? The answer is because I engaged with some students with different interests and backgrounds as I mentioned above; my seniors, my friends, my teachers, all those people somehow helped me to open my door toward my future, be focused, and be less worried. One example is my senior; she lived not far from my father's house. In spite of the fact that this senior came from a poor family, yet she took a computer course in the third year of high school and went to study at a university that was far away from our hometown. What I thought was that if she could do it, so was I. Some of my other seniors also left the village and made adventures; many of them studied on another island and faraway city. Not only that, my secondary friend who told me an amazing story about our senior who studied in the best city for study; that friend, she had been set her foot in the faraway city from our village after graduating from secondary school. She had already studied in the city in order to open big opportunities in her life. Furthermore, I met my first foreign friend when I was in my third year; it was during the school trip. She came into my life and opened my horizon widely; our world is big.
Indeed, my father did not have money to send me abroad. But it did not mean I give up on my dream. First, I needed to get a Bachelor's degree in the best city to study as my plan in my third year of secondary school. In my third year of high school, I hoped that I would get into my dream university in the best city for study but I got rejected as I predicted. How hard I was to study, my opportunity to get into my dream university was very small because I was just a high school student in the village. Wisdom I had heard said, "by attending one of famous or popular or the best school in the city, it will open a big chance for us to get into another the best school." And based on my experiences, I agree with this wisdom. As I said, after graduating from secondary school, I could not do anything. Back to the topic, so it was a rushed time in my life after finishing the final exam in high school. I still remember that time in only a few clips, I embarked to my destination city to study with some friends. Even I did not have time to say goodbye to my other school friends. It was a quick move and no turnback! Most students would go with parents to accompany them to visit and made a register to university, but I settled down everything on my own. Of course not "on my own" because I had a senior from the same high school who helped me in an unfamiliar city when the first time I arrived. The next chapter was that I met many new friends and seniors in university that made my university life was great and unforgettable. Furthermore, I met locals who are becoming my new family in an unfamiliar city. What I can say, despite a mountain assignment and tasks, my university life was smooth sailing.🤩🤗
That is my story of how a village girl like me was able to decide to leave my hometown at 16 years old as consider I had never traveled to any cities in my nation. If anybody says that I do not have friends, a crazy villager girl who lives in the imaginary world, well...the reality is the opposite. Indeed, I do not have many friends, like hundreds or thousands or millions like on social media. But I have friends that one friend is worth hundreds of friends, and they are true friends.
I think some people could say such kinds of things because somehow I am the reflection of what they wish for. Yeah, many girls or boys in my hometown drop out and it was not because of poor parents but mostly thought school is not important, useless, and wasted money. However, after seeing my move, something like burnt their heads.
As far as I can see, besides the knowledge that I had learned, school is the place that allowed me to grow, thrive, and made me strong personally and mentally. As a result, I left my comfort zone after graduating from high school. If you ask me, "Did I feel scared or worried that time because I was just left with friends in an alien world?", my answer is that I was excited and could not wait for my new life in university.
So, for you who are born and grow up in a village or remote island, do not never feel down or feel unlucky about where you come from. The future is a mystery, what you have to do is to work on your dream!👊💪🚀
Read a related article about this topic on how cheaper labor like my father was able to send me to university, link here https://ichi-journey.blogspot.com/2021/10/how-cheaper-labor-is-able-to-send-child.html
Another related article on how education has the ability to lift up our life in the future, link here https://ichi-journey.blogspot.com/2021/08/how-education-can-lift-you-out-from.html
Note:
- Written by Acik Mardhiyanti
- Do not copy this article without permission
